I am sick.

I am sick now. I know I am always busy talking shit about how tough I am and how I never ever get sick, but I am sick now. I remember cocking off about a week ago about how strong my immune system is. I remember thinking about a month ago that I hadn't been sick since 2008 so my daily vitamin regimen must be very effective. Well, it isn't. I am sick. This sucks. This is horrible.

I go to work sick, because unlike anyone in their right mind, I am self employed and I would have to hire a replacement for myself. Being the tightwad I am, I don't hire a replacement. I just tough it out.

I always have this ridiculous idea in my head when I wake up in the morning that once I get up and get moving, I will feel much better. Then, when I don't feel any better I regret it. I talk myself into a 9:30-10 AM coffee break and rest and that does usually make me feel better until I start working again. Then, I feel like crap. I bide my time until lunch. I overeat figuring that "you need to feed a cold." Then, as the day wears on, I am sick with a bloated belly feeling like crap all afternoon. Eventually after what seems like an eternity, 4:30-5 PM rolls around and I convince myself that I will feel MUCH better when I get home. Then again, after what seems to be a very long time, 6 PM shows up and I can finally leave. It is a long, lame day.

I have observed that although some days I am not overly ambitious as it is, on sick days I am REALLY lazy. I have found this to be true. I truly don't care about your car. I don't care what is wrong with it and I probably lack the mental capacity to fix it even if I wanted to. I don't want to answer your phone calls. I don't want to quote a million services out for you that you will likely not have me perform, anyway. I really more or less want to be left alone. So, am I better coming into work and being a prick and losing sales? Or, should I hire somebody to be a prick for me and still lose sales? Hmm. It is a tough call.

I am a big baby when it comes to being sick, too. Not that I expect anybody to do anything for me, but rather that I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't care about chit chat. I don't want to answer questions about how I am feeling and yes, I do already know that I look like shit. Whew! I am glad that's out of the way.

I was thinking to myself this morning that if medical doctors spent less time trying to figure out how to give monkeys a four hour erection and spend more time researching viral strains, maybe this whole concept of "I have a cold" would be a thing of the past.

Seriously, look at the money that is wasted in this country. For example, Conan O'Brien got $45 million to leave NBC. That could have been $45 million for viral research. That could have been 45 million one dollar cold cures. That could have been a building, a lab, and a few scientists for quite a few years. Do you think that some doctor some where could come up with an effective cold solution for less than $45 million? I think so.

I was a Conan fan, but now I have 45 million reasons to not like him anymore. Do you know where that money came from that paid Conan? NBC is owned 80% by General Electric. General Electric got $340 million of stimulus/bailout money that they have NOT paid back. Thanks, GE. Bang up job in money management.

So, our taxes paid Conan and kept me sick.