Friday, October 15, 2010

So sorry..or am I?

I hate to say I have little to write about these days.  I have things to write about, I guess.

I could write about my now newly expanding list of things to do before I die. But, who wants to read about that?

I could write about the places I want to go to that I wasn't very interested in before, but do you care about that?

I could write about the amazing awakening I have felt in these past couple months and how because of the inspiration I have felt, I am forever changed. But, who wants to read about that?

I could write about the rapid pace of which this love in my life is going and possibly expose myself to your frowns of disapproval. Well, maybe not disapproval but more words of caution. Either way I could write about it and how wonderful it is and read your reactions of mock vomiting and bad movie line quotes. In my defense I could explain to you that I know what I am doing and I am a sober, mature adult and I have never been so sure of anything in this life before. But, why bother? I am not so sure you will understand.  I am almost certain you won't.

I could write about all of the plans I have for my future that didn't exist in July of this year and are becoming reality right now.  I am not talking about simple, trivial things, either. I mean big, huge, serious friggin' plans.  But again, would you tell me to go for it?  Would you tell me to pump my brakes?  Would you tell me anything at all?  Hmm...

Is it a time for a more introverted life? I don't think so. Is it time to keep more of my private thoughts to myself or share them only with the person that inspired them? Perhaps so. I don't want to have this love I have diluted or polluted with any negative thoughts.  Maybe Howard Stern's ex-wife had it right.  Maybe I need to retain some "private parts" in my life now.

Some things are for sure. I hear slow songs in my head all day long now and I have for almost 2 months. I have longing and pining during my days that I have never experienced. If I wake up in the morning and I am alone, I feel that half of me is missing.  I watch my phone waiting for it to ring or beep as if it was the television.  I can't eat.  I can't sleep.  Yet,  I have more energy than I had before.

I am in deep in this love thing.
I am going to keep this one.
I am not letting her get away.

1 comment:

  1. I'm enjoying the new Brad...