many people spend a lot of their lives trying to figure out "what to be" when they grow up.
when you are college age, it is a huge overwhelming decision.
what do YOU want to do...forever? And, ever?
it took me until the fresh, young age of 36 years to finally decide
that i really don't know what i want to be.
i know that i am good at some things,
but not so good at others.
i know i have strong points and interests.
yet, i also have a plethora of weakness and disinterest.
i don't know what i want to do forever,
except that i do not want to do the same thing forever,
unless i can do or not do these things.
i do not want to work ever again unless i am in the mood.
i do not want to plan for my future.
i do not want to save money.
i do not want to worry about money or a job.
i do not want to become "presentable" or "proper" or "respectable."
i want to love my fellow human beings without resentment or hostility.
i want to see my loved ones for at least a short while each and every day.
i want to play a lot. even more than you were just thinking.
i want to go tour around the world with Amanda and Sydney,
and walk off of the beaten path all of the time.
i want to see nature the way God made it and not the way man has changed it.
i want to sleep in every day.
i want to just relax.
i want to read in the bathtub.
i want to spend about 10 hours of each day in bed,
and not feel guilty as if i need to hurry up and do something or anything.
since I don't need to go to work anyway,
my "off" time is all the time.
i could enjoy my time all of the time because i can live and breathe each moment
rather than scramble and kick and claw for a gasp
of air to breathe each moment with.
i don't want to miss anything important in this life.
i don't want to miss anything important in the lives of my loved ones.
i want to spend at least one hour of every day inside a hug from one of my loved ones.
if they aren't available i could substitute them for some other
very important person which in all reality is anyone and everyone.
i want sweet tango apples year around.
i want to carve pumpkins 2-3 times a year.
it isn't too much to ask, is it?
i think what i am really destined to be is a father and a husband.
i think i am destined to be a brother, a son, an uncle and a friend.
aside from that, the rest is all consequence.
what could be better?
4 weeks ago