Tuesday, December 21, 2010

No Exit Needed.

"I've got arms,
And I've got arms
Let's get together and use those arms!
Let's go!
Times a wastin'!"
Time's A Wastin'  (June Carter Cash)

In a time of uncertainty and chaos in the world of life and relationships I have asked somebody participate in a very old tradition with me.  I have done what I said I would never do again.  Ever.  I have asked a woman to be my wife.  I asked a girl to marry me.  And, she accepted.

With the divorce rate in this country hovering at a little over 51% the idea of marriage could be a frightening one.  When you factor in that the divorce rate has actually dropped a little in the past few years because people just aren't getting married anymore, it could become even more scary.  Numbers and statistics can be hard to ignore, can't they?   Does anybody really ever say "forever" and mean it?  Odds are that if you have at one time or another, there is a little better than a 50/50 chance that you will end up divorced.  Think of ten of your friends that are married and imagine that 5.1 of them gets divorced in the next few years.  That's not really very good odds, is it?  Then, when you factor in that the actual rate of people staying together for the long term is lower yet since many people aren't even bothering to get married since their confidence in the idea of it lacks luster.  Many people feel that getting married just complicates the breakup.  I think that they are right in thinking that since marriage does really complicate the breakup.  So, why get married if you are just going to split up eventually anyway?  Then again, why stay with somebody for any amount of time if you are planning on ending it someday, anyway?

What makes my relationship so special that after less than half of a year, I am willing to commit for the rest of my life?  Am I a fool?  Is she?  Are we both just dumb and in love?  Are her and I both living in an unrealistic fantasy mindset in which no matter what happens things will just magically work out?  Just because?  Do people really stay in love anymore?  Do people ever stay together anymore?  Really?  When people say "I do" do they really mean "I do for now?"  Or do they mean, "I do until something better comes along?"  Do people just keep looking to stoke the fire inside of them, and if it starts to dwindle are they ready to fly away to find a new source of fire?  Is it ego?  Is it pride?  Is it selfishness that people decide to end their relationships?

I think my relationship is different than most.  I think that her and I are different than most people.  I have left myself no exit strategy.  I have asked her to leave herself no open exit door.  For the first time in my life, I want to be married.  For the first time in my life I want this one precious person to share my every waking moment.  I look at her and I know that it is right.  I know that I want her and her only.  I want this one person to be with me, equally and beside me no matter what comes our way.  I don't want a way out with her.  I don't need to leave myself a lit exit door because I know that together her and I can conquer anything this life can bring in front of us.  I look at my parents with envy for the 46 years that they have been together and I know that they are still very in love.  I want to be the way that they are, forever.  I have found the person that I can do that with.  It is very exciting!

I know no matter what happens, she has given me the best times of my life.  There is nothing anybody can do to erase that.  There is nothing anybody can say to tarnish that.  That's why I love her and want her without holding back.  That is why I don't need a good exit strategy.  I don't need an easy way out.  I don't need any way out. 

I can't wait to be her husband.   I cannot wait to call her my wife.


  1. I need another dose of insulin you magnificent sweet bastard

  2. Well, mathematically speaking, if the divorce rate is 51% and you've been divorced once, you should have a 102% chance of this working. Or something. Maybe you can transfer that extra 2% to that .1 person that you know will get divorced to improve their chances.

    On another note, if June Carter claims she has arms, shouldn't the ATF be after her?

    I like that first picture of the statues - is that representative of how you asked her to marry you at a toga party while you were stoned? If so: beautiful choice. If not: that picture is totally inappropriate because it has a rocky nipple in it.

    Am I still in charge of your wedding music?

  3. Congratulations on finding your "evil twin". Everyone has one, but most people cannot accept that they somehow deserve complete happiness. I think part of it is to find comfort some people need to relive the misery of childhood.

    You make a great team and look wonderful together. Best wishes to two wonderful people, too full of love.


  4. Posting your sentiments for all the world to see, opening yourself up and declaring your love at the top of your lungs... it's gotta be real.

    All the best !