"...You will find a fortune, though it will not be the fortune you seek. But first, first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril, mm-hmm. You shall see things...wonderful to tell...oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has...vouchsafed your reward.
Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation." Oh Brother Where Art Thou? Joel & Ethan Coen.
A new day. A sunrise. A smile.
What is it with this thing called life? Ha. It is a peculiar thing, indeed.
I love my life. I wasn't sure how much I loved my life up until the last couple months reminded me. This is fact: Despite my whining (sometimes constantly..lol), I have a great life. I have great people in my life. I live very, very well.
I had forgotten about the good things in this world. I had forgotten about gratitude. I had forgotten. It is good to remember!
So into another new chapter! Yay!
Some things to be said about me. I am a person that bores easily. Keep in mind that I am rarely snagged or captivated for long. I am a person that is uber fussy about who, what, when, why and where is in my life. I am also a sober person, so I am not distracted or confused by chemicals in the decisions I make. I am not a bar scene dater and I will not date people from the bar scene, so there is no false personalities present in the people I date. I also have a huge bullshitto meter and can usually smell lies, deceit and more or less any other suspicious behavior in about the first fifteen seconds of a person's company. I trust my instincts in my relationships more than I ever have since they have proven again and again to be right. So, I keep things real. I live in reality.
I boldly proclaimed for the past many years that there is no way I would ever get married again. Even when I was still married I constantly said how if I became unmarried somehow that I would never do it again. Now, I am not so sure.
I brashly stated how I would never even consider having kids again because "I don't want to be 40 and changing diapers." Now, I wonder if it would really be so bad? I mean, isn't family really all that there is to this life?
I have never believed in "love at first sight." Well, until now. Now I consider it to be the most natural thing ever, but only in this one case.
I know that I have made a rather large emotional investment. But, I am not afraid. Well honestly, for the first time ever I am not afraid. If things don't work out, I am still alive and awake. I have had the most wonderful time. I have remembered what is it like to fall. It is magical and wonderful and much better than I thought it could it be. I have remembered how much fun it is to share with another person when it is returned. I have been reacquainted with the idea of somebody that is truly as into me as I am into them. Ta-friggin-da!
My head can't talk my heart out of it. I am in love. And, it is grand. How friggin' cool is that?
4 weeks ago