Craigslist

Recently I decided to sell one of my cars on Craigslist since I pay insurance on 6 vehicles and I am the only one that drives in my household.  I love the car, but I really just don't NEED it.  So, I wrote an ad for Craigslist locally and got some strange responses.  Well, I got ridiculous responses.  It truly is proof positive that people in this country don't bother reading or can't.  Also, I am now CERTAIN that Craigslsit is the Walmart flee market of online sales sites.  Anyway, here's my ad followed by a few of the responses I got:

Tired of driving a minivan or your mother's weenie Volkswagon? Check this car out.

For Sale: 2006 Dodge Charger R/T.

It has:
5.7 Liter HEMI V8
Automatic (Autostick) Transmission
Multi disc CD player
Power Seats
Heated Seats
Upgraded Engine Programming from Dodge
Magnaflow Exhaust
Cold Air Intake
120XXX miles
Clear title
Needs nothing other than your butt in the driver's seat.

The car is black with a black leather interior.

Car gets 24ish MPG and should have 375 HP with the performance upgrades.

This car runs and drives like it is new. I bought the car from an Amsoil dealer and the car has had nothing but premium synthetic oil since new. Interior is very, very nice. Do not let the miles scare you away.

For the $11,000 you will get the car and also another set of snow tires for it that have about 3000 miles on them.

It looks wicked. It's fast. It's fun.

DISCLAIMER (*updated*): I know it isn't a requirement to read the whole ad here, but I have had about 30 calls/emails offering me $4000 and up or a trade for some decorative rock and your Jet Ski (that doesn't run, but did at one time) among other things. Let's get one thing perfectly crystal clear: If you don't have any money or an Indian Chief to trade me, please just go on the the next ad and leave me alone. I don't want your decorative rock. I don't want your Bobcat, your 1978 Mustang, your Lincoln LS or your 2003 Tahoe. I am not a bank. I am not interested in financing you no matter what the terms might be. I would never consider letting you take the car and make payments to me. Never. Let's get that in here again for the cheap seats: NEVER. I don't want your lowball cash offer when you haven't even seen the car. If you can't afford this car, please don't waste my time and yours. I don't want anything on trade besides MAYBE an Indian Chief or money. This is a nice car that I own and I do not NEED to sell it. I am NOT desperate and willing to sell it for a third of what it is worth. I am not getting divorced, hurting for cash or trying to save my home. I know a lot of people selling things are in that reality right now and I was too, but I am not anymore. I have priced this car well below KBB and NADA values for a quick sale. If you aren't able to pay this amount or could only pay half or a third of this amount (and trade me for your neighbor's lawnmower and some bird houses or whatever else you can dream up) please do not bother contacting me. So, serious inquiries only PLEASE, okay? Thank you. ;)

$11,000 FIRM

Cash or possible trade for Indian Chief only. Email only now since my cell phone has been abused by tire kicking wasters of my time. Sorry. I will answer emails promptly.

Thanks for looking.

Here are some of the responses I got:

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From "Joe:"

interested in 06 lincoln ls>>

95xxx miles
silver/chrome pillars
heated and cooled leather
tinted windows..

Response:  I would take your trade if the car has $11,000 or and Indian Chief in the glove box.  What do you think?

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From "Hank:"

Interested in trading for a 1972 mustang convertible??

Response: I would take your trade if the car has $11,000 or and Indian Chief in the glove box. What do you think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From "Oscar:"

Hey buddy do u still have the charger 4sale ? If so I want 2 offer u $8000 cash what do u think ?

Response:  Haha.  No. 

Oscar: Haha y?

Response: It's already 3 grand below book.   How about $14,000?

Oscar: Why more?

Response: Because if you are willing to go up $3000 and I am willing to go down $3000 we can settle on $11,000.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Easyrider:"

Trade for a Bobcat 463 skidsteer with grapple bucket and only 384 hours?



Response:  Sounds great!  As long as you also trade me $11,000!  What do you say?

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From "Brandon:"

Would u trade for my 85 cutlass I got it listed on CL for 27,000 but will do a straight out trade for ur charger if interested!

Response: If it has $11,000 cash in the glove box, yes. If not, no. ;)
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From "Brandle:"

Yo you should definitely call me 347-225-9817. 100 % pure A big heads up.

Response:  Yo! You should definitely email me with your questions, 100% pure big heads up!

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From "Marcus:"

I want to trade with you and the rest I'll pay with cash on the spot.

Response:  What do you want to trade?

[Crickets chirping]

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From "Jake:"

I am interested in your 06 Charger. If the vehicle is still available, please contact me at 763-354-XXXX. Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Response:  *I called him.  He's a dealer that wants to consign my car.  He emails me a couple times a week to tell me how he could easily sell my car, but I need to give it to him to "show" people.  So, just so we are clear, he wants me to give him my car to drive for a couple months so he can sell it.  Seriously.  Where does it say in my listing that I want to give you my car to drive so you can sell it for me?  WTF?!?*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Hoppen:"

where is the car located? what kind of gas mileage does it get?

Ever been in a wreck? any thing else about it.

Response: These things are all in the listing. All of the answers you seek are in the ad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Whitney:"

Would you do a payment plan over 2 months time?

Response:  No.  I will not finance. Will you take a reading course and apply your new skills to my ad?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Jose:"

Hey names Jose would you take 9000 cash

Response: Hard to make an offer on a car you have never seen, isn't it?

Jose: Haha yea but have you sold it

Response: Nope.  I still have the car.  I haven't been contacted by anyone that has actual real money yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Hank:" (AGAIN)

Interested in trading for a 1972 mustang convertible??

Response:  No.  Still no.  No.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Celania:"

What kind of CAI do you have in your charger? Would you be willing to sell it separate from the car? If so, how much?

Response:  Yes!  I would LOVE to sell it.  Nothing like parting out a car I am trying to sell.  Would you like the driver's seat and perhaps the left rear taillight?  I am only asking $11,000 for the CAI, but I will throw all the rest of this stuff in as well as some other parts (the whole car) to sweeten up the deal for you.  What do you think?

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You have to love Craigslist.  You have to be impressed with the brilliance of many of the people that shop there....

To pay for TV...

I recently..well in the last couple months decided that I no longer need cable or television at all. This isn't some strange cult thing, I just see no need to pay for a service that I rarely use and quite frankly think is pretty depressing to watch.  Also, I prefer to spend my time being active versus sitting on my ass.  Anyway, I cancelled the service and paid all remaining bills I had and then returned my equipment.  A month or so after I received an email from them saying all of my equipment was returned in good condition, I received another bill from the company.  I am protesting it.  Here it is:

Hello~

This is in regards to account # 8255 11 024 00140

I cancelled my service a couple months ago and paid via credit card for all outstanding charges. In fact, I overpaid. You refunded me my overpayment.

Today I got another bill in the mail from your company for a "receiver return" fee. I am certain that this bill must be in error since I returned all of the equipment that I ever got from you as per instructed (and in a timely fashion) and I received an email confirming that everything was returned in good condition.

I am not willing to pay this bill without explanation. It seems that this bill is just another way to get $15 and some sales tax from me. I tried to call and have this bill explained to me, but the customer service line is nothing more than 25 minutes of automated menu nonsense. So, I called the sales line and "ta da!" I got a real, live person right away. I am unwilling to sit on hold and got through countless menus of automated service to try to correct a bill that I think is a mistake.

So, explain this to me. Or, just correct this incorrect bill and say thanks for the many, many years I paid your company for television.

I appreciate your attention in this matter.

Regards,

Brad Miller

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Miller,


Thank you for taking time to contact us.


We understand your concern. The customer agreement that you signed upon starting service with DISH states that customers are responsible for the return of leased receivers when disconnecting service. The label included on the box that you will receive is at a discounted price and will cost you significantly less than if you opted to ship the equipment back on your own. If you choose to use the label, you will be charged a flat $15.00. If you choose to use your own shipping method and box to return the receiver, you will not be invoiced for this fee. If you return the equipment before the end of your last billing cycle, you’ll see that fee included on your final invoice.


If you wish to discuss any points we have not clarified or need any further information, please call our Customer Service Center toll-free number at 1-800-894-9131. You can also visit dishnetwork.com/chat to start a live chat with a customer service representative so we may further assist you. Our DISH Network representatives are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to help answer any questions you may have.


Thank you for your e-mail.


Sincerely,


Darrel G. – CN1
TID:OR-Chrysler
DISH Network eCare

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Darrel G. – CN1

I appreciate your response.

Just so I understand this correctly. Via email and telephone I was informed that I was being sent return packaging and a label for my convenience and the safety of the receivers and remotes that I was returning, correct? After you sent these out and since I used them, I am being charged for their use?

If this is the case, can I have the box sent back to me? If I have paid $15 for a box and a label that your company mailed out for my convenience, at this time I think it would be more convenient for me to have said box since I am not sure that any other time in my life I have seen a box that is worth $15.

If I had just thrown the box away, I would not have gotten charged? What happens to the box then? Is the label reusable?

Regards,

Brad Miller
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sir or Madam,


Thank you for taking time to contact us.


We understand your situation. Please contact our Customer Service Center at 1-800-894-9131 and they can better assist you with your concern or by visiting the link below to chat live with a customer service representative.


www.dishnetwork.com/chat


Thank you for your e-mail.


Sincerely,


Darrel G. – CN1
TID:OR-Chrysler
DISH Network eCare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Darrel G. – CN1,
The reason for my first email to you was because I had just spent a good portion of my morning on the phone with an automated menu service that was unable to do anything for me other than cause frustration and elevate my blood pressure to levels only normally reserved for people attempting to fly into space with a homemade craft.

Please reread the first email I sent you. I can wait.

[waits]

[still waits]

[waits even longer]

[Tom Waits]

Okay. So, do you understand where I am coming from as far as returning to phone support goes? I really have zero interest in wasting my time on hold with your automated system or with a customer service representative that cannot help me with my problem (READ: Sales department since that's the only line that has a LIVE person on it).

So please just credit my account for the $15 or return the box to me and I will pay for it. Be sure if you are returning the box to me that you return the box I used and no other. I do not want to have you accidentally give me somebody else's $15 box. I will know my box when I see it as I put a special, secret mark on it.

Regards,

Brad Miller

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sir or Madam,


Thank you for taking time to contact us.


We will credit your account for the charges..


www.dishnetwork.com/chat


Thank you for your e-mail.


Sincerely,


Darrel G. – CN1
TID:OR-Chrysler
DISH Network eCare