Nothing Is Provocative

Change.org

2011-11-21T16:53:00.000-06:00

Dear Change.org~

It seems that your organization, like so many others in this fine country really miss the point of things. You allow people to create petitions on your website and then send those petitions out via email to thousands and thousands of people to sign. You do this under the impression that you are going to "change our world."

Let's set the record straight on a few things here:
Target wants to be open on Thanksgiving evening (In MN) and one of your participants started a petition to gripe about this change of hours and attempt to change Target's schedule to be closed on Thanksgiving evening. I see this morning that this petition has 189,000 signatures. Remember this: Work is work and is not always on anyone's preferred schedule. Work is not always when it's convenient for you. Right now there are about 14 million people in this country looking for a job. Well, I suppose it's fair to say that at least MOST of these people are looking for a job. In my opinion Target employees (and friends/family), if you don't want to work the hours that your store is open, don't show up. There are 14 million people that would like to have a job and would probably jump at the chance to have yours. As an employer, I have wonderful employees because they do NOT bitch about working some crappy hours now and then because they know that it is just part of having a job and being a responsible adult. If my employees started a petition and refused to work on Thanksgiving evening, I would encourage then to find a new job. In this economy, I could wish them luck. I mean, they would only be in competition with 14 million other people. Let's spell that out again for the cheap seats...14 MILLION people are out of work an you (Target employees and their friends/families) are complaining about some shit hours on a holiday?!? Can't buy a lot of presents for Christmas when you are unemployed, can you?!? I hate to say this again because I say it all the time. To everyone that has a job: Shut up. Go to work. Do your job. Be thankful you have a job at all.

Another recent topic at Change.org. "We're willing the battle against high credit card fees!" Just so you understand REALITY, your elected government has changed regulations for credit card companies the last few years in a row. A couple years back, the government changed the amount of interest and charges that could be compiled on your credit account if you don't pay your bill. Let's let this sink in for a second and truly understand what these regulations are doing. Since you are NOT smart enough to manage your own credit account and found yourself in financial peril, the government will now try to "save" you from the banks you borrowed money from. Aside from the FACT that you agreed to pay the banks back and agreed to specific terms in regards to them extending credit to you, you are still not smart enough to handle it and the government had to step in to "save" you. Since the government has regulated the banks out of making money in this area and has changed the rules in how the banks can make money in other areas, the banks have decided to charge you a fee to use their card and credit services. As a owner of a retail shop, I know all about paying bank fees. In my better card terminals, I pay $.15 per card swipe and 1.5% on each dollar. This is just a cost of doing business for me. For the consumer using a Discover card, Discover gets to money to "pay you back" from me in the form of and increased transaction fee (3.5%). This $5 per month fee the banks want to charge you is CHEAP to use their very secure (and with zero liability for fraudulent use on your part), reliable, and convenient system. What service they give you for so little money! What are you people thinking? How could you protest and petition this? Five dollars a month is a cheap fee for you to have the convenience of instant, secure, risk free money all the time. These banks do not want to lose money on your debt or your business. These banks cannot lose money on your debt because their shareholders and investors cannot afford it. Your debt cannot be made into somebody else's responsibility. Since the government stepped in on your behalf, this is the result. The government has created these regulations because YOU cannot manage your own credit and YOU cannot pay your bills in a timely fashion. Because of YOUR lack of responsibility, the government has regulated the banks into not making money. So, now they want to charge you and upfront fee for their services? Good for them. For what they have to offer, 5 dollars a month is an absolute bargain. Again: Shut up and pay your damn bills. Realize that there isn't anything free in this country. For the secure service the banks give you, their fee is not only fair, but cheap.

Today the folks at Change.org emailed me about the corruption in our park systems by complaining that Coke donated $13 million dollars. Then, when the parks department decided to ban plastic bottles and Coke asked them not to ban them, they didn't put on the ban. This is really wrong on many levels. I know a lot of people love to hate big companies despite the fact that they use products from these companies all of the time. But, for the petitioners that suggest that Coke's donation of $13 million to the park system was a bribe maybe you could consider that $13 million dollars goes a long way in maintaining parks. Maybe you should consider that it isn't Coke's fault if people throw plastic bottles all over the park. It is all about personal responsibility. PEOPLE throw trash all over the park, not Coke. I go to parks all summer long and I not only see pop bottles and trash, but I also see dirty diapers. Did the people at Change.org petition to ban babies or children from all of the parks because the babies and small children wear diapers? I think not. But really, if you think about it, it's the same thing. People throw used diapers in the woods, not Huggies. This is just like people throw pop bottles into the Grand Canyon, not Coke or Pepsi. Think about it. When will you people become hip to the idea that there HAS to be personal responsibility in this world? At some point, individuals need to be held accountable for what individuals do. This would be a big departure from the mentality the folks at Change.org have now where they are under the impression that it's government's job to punish everyone for the actions of a few. This mentality that we need to be protected from ourselves eliminates our freedoms and our right to make our own choices. It also creates a generation of people that CAN'T think for themselves.

By the way, companies like Target, Coke, and Pepsi are not the bad guys. These companies donate millions and millions of dollars to many,many different wonderful causes and organizations in this country. Remember this FACT before you try to run their name through the mud. What have YOU done?

Sorry, Change.org. You missed. Then, you missed again. Then, you missed. I have emailed you my views on these topics and I patiently wait for your response. But, I am sure you will not grant me one.

Taxes? Entitlement?

2011-10-04T17:45:00.002-05:00

I have opinions about things. Many things. I watched a video on youtube.com today and the man interviewed was a very bright, intelligent man but he had some misguided views.

One of the things I have an opinion about is this bombardment of entitlement mentality that I have seen everywhere in this country since the economy has come to a halt. Let's get one thing completely entirely perfectly straight here: It isn't your money. None of it is. You might argue and think it is, but it is not. You might have all sorts of reasons why it should be, and your reasons are probably rational and morally correct, but it still isn't your money. It sucks.

Even though you paid your money into the government, you have elected officials that have the rights BY LAW to decide what to do with said money. So, despite your current financial situation and despite all of your complaints and grumbling, the government's money (although it USED to be yours) is no longer your money. You elected people that took this money from you and you have trusted them in spending wisely for you on things that you may want or need at some time. As it is for now, the federal government has given your money away, most of your children's money, and some of your children's children's money. So, consider this fact before you raise your hand like a 3rd grader that needs to use the bathroom and ask the government for your money back. They don't have it. Plain and simple. The government has spent all of your money taking care of those who elected them and those that could bolster the highest level of public approval from being helped. So, before you ask and think that you deserve some money or that you have some money coming from the government, realize that you don't and they don't have it anymore. The officials you elected have taken your money and given it to somebody other than you. But, all in all, that's what you wanted them to so when you elected them (equality for all Americans, right?), anyway. So, success.

The idea that higher taxation of any segment of our society solves any of our long term problems is laughable. You know what that reminds me of? It's a friend trying to help out another friend that drinks too much by paying his bar tab. I think Glenn Beck came up with that. It's a great analogy of what's going on here. There is NO solution to excess debt that is more effective than cutting spending. That's the best idea for recovery and it is the only reliable, sound idea. Since taxation is based on consumption and on economic activity, it cannot be deemed a reliable source of proposed income since the government cannot control the rate of spending by consumers (yet).

Let me give you an example from the fine State of Minnesota. Minnesota decided that smoking is bad (m'kay). So, the State raised the tax on cigarettes drastically with hopes that the extra cost of cigarettes will make people want to quit and also generate scads of income that they (the State) can use to pay for all sorts of other beneficial things (to be fair, one thing was health care for smokers since they have much larger health risks). Not too bad of a plan, eh? Well, then they did it. The result? Lots of smokers quit and many others started buying their tobacco online or buying raw tobacco and rolling their own cigarettes (since these were exempt for the additional tax). So, a successful plan? Not really, since after the initial financial shock people that wanted to smoke regardless of anything still smoked and many of them just became more and more creative with how they were going to accomplish it. So many smokers quit smoking or found other means to smoke that the level of money that the State planned on getting in for these new programs never came and they fell short of their budget for the programs associated with the tobacco taxation. What did the State of Minnesota do? They raised the tax more to try to cover their budget shortfalls. Then what happened? More people quit smoking, bought cigarettes out of state, bought cigarettes online, or grew tobacco at home (no kidding... I know 2 people that do it). So, what happened then? The state STILL fell short of their budget because the people don't WANT to pay so much tax. This went on and on and continues today. A successful plan? No.

Any time you expect the government to tax another sect of society be it businesses, the super rich, or whoever to make things better for you, be prepared to pay this same level of tax money yourself. Once the government has permission and law that says they can tax one group of people at a high rate, be prepared for them to pass laws that allow them to tax ALL people at a higher rate. If the government cannot reel in the spending, it is purely just a matter of time before they come after your money, too. Think about it. This is a pivotal idea and an important one to consider.

Nobody wins with tax income based on consumption because as Americans, we come from a long line of innovators and free thinkers. We are bright and creative. We will find a way to do what we want and be able to afford it. Plain and simple. It is too bad we waste this creativity on finding ways to afford to smoke cigarettes rather than use it for something that could benefit others.

If you are an advocate of higher taxation for the rich or companies, realize that their money is not your money. If you have been evicted from your home, these people did not force you to buy it. If you have huge student loans, these people did not force you to take them out. If you lost your job and then lost your home and cars, life is horrible for you but it is still your fault. I'm very sorry, but it is. If you planned poorly for your financial future (as most of us did) it is OUR OWN fault. We need to own this responsibility. It is ours and ours alone.

Taxing one group of society at a higher rate to pay our bills is nothing more than stealing. Also, as far as retail goes, you can tax the companies at a higher rate and they will pay it with your dollar. Every time. Each time. They will be forced to inflate the cost of their goods to offset the higher tax, and who do you suppose will pay that tax? YOU. Me. All of us will pay it every single time we buy anything. So, you want to be cocky and not give them an inflated rate? Simple. Buy imported goods and further deflate our own economy. There is no way around this and it takes a fool to not understand this.

The flat tax idea is a great one, but it will have a hard time getting into practice in this country because those of you that think that people with more money than you are not paying their fair share will have to pay your fair share for the first time ever. What would that be like? You can argue with me if you like, but what I am saying is true. If we get a flat tax rate in this country for the first time in our lives taxes will be fair for all. But, those of you that don't pay any taxes in now (and seem to have many great plans on how to spend the money that belongs to others) will have to pay. It is an exciting idea.

Plain and simple, the only people we can be mad at for most any of this go to work in Washington. They spent your Social Security. They spent your tax money on programs that may or may not have helped you. Flat out, they spent your money. Now, they don't know what to do to pay the bills they have created. So, they have demonized success, wealth, and innovation in this country to try to gain support from a disheartened and hurting public. They use your financial ruin and hardship as steam to power their train. They propose legislation based on ideas that came out of misery, and as Americans many of us are so beaten down by it all, we are agreeing. Do not let them pollute you with this. You want to make a difference? Take away their jobs. Vote them out. Become educated about who you are voting for before you vote and pick candidates not based on nostalgia or emotion, pick them out of their ability to do their job. Pick them out of what they can do for all of us and America, not just based on what they can do for you short term. If they fail, vote THEM out and find the next candidate for the job.

Think, people. I am not always correct about all the things I think and say, but this is how I see it.

Monday afternoon comin' down...

2011-09-26T14:44:00.001-05:00

Does this make any sense?

You circle the parking lot at the mall 352 times to try to find a close parking spot (almost getting into a brawl with the woman waiting for the open spot you stole). Then, you park and proceed to walk around the mall all day. What? This makes zero sense. I see this silly shit and I shake my head in wonder. What do people really think? Are they robbing the place and need to make a quick getaway? Do they think their car is safer next to the building (It IS a great place to get door dinged because of the congestion)? This silly behavior also applies to outside concerts/festivals and sporting events for the most part. If you aren't in a wheel chair or using a walker, toughen up, take the first readily available parking spot and walk on in. If you aren't handicapped already, walking is a great exercise to keep you from becoming handicapped. If sloth doesn't make you handicapped, you could end up that way from the brawl over a parking space.

Passing lanes are made for passing. Passing lanes are NOT made for the slow leading car to speed up to ten miles per hour over the speed limit for the duration of the passing lane, only to slow back to ten miles per hour below the speed limit when the road necks back down into two lanes. This drives me crazy. I am usually the "crazy" guy passing everyone going about 120 mph because I KNOW that once it becomes two lanes again, one of the cars in front of me is just waiting to piss me off by drastically slowing down. Then, if I tailgate, they hit the brakes as some sort of "warning" that I should BACK OFF AND GIVE THEM ROOM even though they are going 47 mph in a 55. Seriously. If you aren't passing, stay to the right. Period. If you are passing, move your ass and permit others to pass, too. Then, move to the right. If I was a cop, I would ticket you people for erratic driving for slowing down too much post passing lane.

Bakery goods made with artificial sweeters are downright insulting. Seriously. I have seen these "diet" rolls and baked goods a few times. Why would anybody want this? I can understand the diabetic argument all day long. I get that. When I see non diabetic people looking for a low calorie cinnamon roll, I really wonder what is wrong with them. Let's get something straight here. No matter how much sugar is sweetening up a sweet roll, it still has no real food value. About 150% of the carbs (read:sugar) you need for the day baked right into it because of the choice of flour and other ingredients. It is not going to be a healthy choice for you no matter what, so why wouldn't you just take your few extra calorie lumps, shut up, and eat the fucking thing. You don't go the bakery's sweet roll area looking for healthy things to eat. Don't kid yourself. You go there to be a glutton and ram 4000 calories of sweetened, sugary bread into your month. So, skip the diet rolls. Skip the artificial sweeteners. If you want to save calories, watch what you put into your coffee. Leave the sugary breakfast foods out of it.

It is supremely silly to drive fifteen miles to save two cents per gallon on gas. This is silly in many ways. First off, unless you are going that way in the first place, you burn more dollars worth of gas than you could ever save by driving there to get it. I would think in this day and age, people would realize this, but they still do not. Supposing that the average gas purchase is ten gallons, be driving the extra distance to save two cents a gallon, you would have saved twenty cents. Can you drive 30 miles (fifteen each way) for twenty cents? Let's do some simple math: If your car gets 30 miles per gallon and you drive 30 miles to get gas and that gas costs $3.50 per gallon, it cost you $3.50 to get the gas just in fuel costs. You would have to also factor in tire wear, other vehicle wear and also your time (I hope you time is worth something to you. If it isn't, I have a house to paint and a lot of other shit you can do for me). So, a twenty cent savings seems a little silly unless your car gets well over 200 miles per gallon (still like two cents a mile fuel cost) and floats on air (so the tires and brakes don't wear out) and your time is completely useless (in which case, the paintbrushes and ladder are in the garage). Not only is there a very, very limited potential for money savings, there is also the loss of convenience factor that play into it. If you don't buy local and your local businesses close (due to lack of sales) then you have earned the privilege to drive fifteen miles away to buy what you need. Think about it. I know in our minds now we have a mentality that "it all adds up" as far as money goes. This is true thinking except it adds up very, very slowly when it comes to gas. The cost of gas is a significant bill, but in the scale of $3.50 per gallon, two cents or even a nickel is almost an insignificant amount of money. You want to save money? Skip the $5 coffee for breakfast. You save more right there than you could save in many, many tanks of gas.

I hate to sound crazy all the time, but no, I didn't see the new commercial (that was funny) for whatever product on television. Why? Because I don't have network television. I don't have cable at home. Seriously. I have a television to watch movies on and I have Netflix On Demand, but I do not have any other sort of television service. I am not willing to pay for it because it is 99% trash. Sorry, I missed the Bud Light ads at the Super Bowl and the Geico ads during the Nascar race. I cannot bring myself to ever watch another minute of Two And A Half Men because although at some point in my life that might have been funny, it is total shit for my kid to watch. It is eye pollution. It is brain pollution. I don't mean to get all preachy or anything because I don't really give a crap what you chose to do in your house, but in my house I think television is immoral and creates a poor view of reality for our kids. Also, it seems like the really, really racy shows get the best ratings and they are constantly trying to top the last big doozy (Had to look up "doozy." I have said it a thousand times, but never had to spell it.) they pulled off and our kids watch this crap and emulate it in their lives. Our kids think it is normal behavior. Our kids think it is okay. Our kids think "everybody does it." It seems like even the commercials are all full of half naked women and men, too. There are shows about being 16 and having kids. There are shows where the main "hero" characters do little other than look cool sleeping with other people's wives and husbands. Almost each week a professional athlete (This truly is in all sports) is busted in some way doing something pathetic, illegal and immoral. I think characters with integrity don't do well in the ratings on television, so they don't exist anymore. I think since cable exploded a few years ago, network television will do whatever it can to attract and keep viewers. Don't tell me that I can't keep my kid from that stuff because unfortunately, I know you are correct. But, that still isn't acceptable to me. I still have to try. It is still my job to raise my kid, not the television networks. Hopefully my definition of right and wrong will be to her understanding. Hopefully she will learn integrity from me and carry that in her life.

[sighs]

I wonder about this world we live in.

Want a Job?

2011-07-28T16:52:00.001-05:00

I was thinking about the employment situation in our fine country. Just so we are clear:

If you are unemployed, you will have a hard time finding work because there aren't many new jobs.

There aren't any new jobs because there is little job growth in this country.

There is little job growth in this country because of all the regulations (See: Big government) and the lack of consumer demand for products that aren't inexpensive (See:China).

Since you have less or little money to spend on anything because you are on a limited income or unemployment (since you can't find a job), you become thrifty in your spending and may purchase less expensive, imported products.

When you buy imported products, you further deflate demand for services and products built in this country further slowing the creation of new jobs.

So....

If you are unemployed, you will have a hard time finding work because there aren't many new jobs.

So, be aware that companies like Walmart (92% imported goods) are the ones keeping you from long term prosperity and employment. It is a circle.

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When you are a skilled worker and are on unemployment, the rate of pay may not (almost surely not) be enough for you to live on.

If you choose to do side work "for cash" to supplement your unemployment benefits, you are able to do skilled labor more cheaply then others in your field since you don't have a license, insurance, or pay any taxes.

If you take potential jobs away from tax paying legitimate employers in your field, those employers decrease their staff and do no new hiring.

When employers do no new hiring, you have a harder time gaining employment, since employers have lost their potential work to people working "for cash" because those people can do the work for a lesser charge.

So...

When you are a skilled worker and are on unemployment, the rate of pay may not (almost surely not) be enough for you to live on.

But, what are you supposed to do?

Maybe we should start by buying American and using our money to reinvest in our own country like our parents and grandparents did.

Craigslist

2011-06-15T09:52:00.006-05:00

Recently I decided to sell one of my cars on Craigslist since I pay insurance on 6 vehicles and I am the only one that drives in my household. I love the car, but I really just don't NEED it. So, I wrote an ad for Craigslist locally and got some strange responses. Well, I got ridiculous responses. It truly is proof positive that people in this country don't bother reading or can't. Also, I am now CERTAIN that Craigslsit is the Walmart flee market of online sales sites. Anyway, here's my ad followed by a few of the responses I got:

Tired of driving a minivan or your mother's weenie Volkswagon? Check this car out.

For Sale: 2006 Dodge Charger R/T.

It has:
5.7 Liter HEMI V8
Automatic (Autostick) Transmission
Multi disc CD player
Power Seats
Heated Seats
Upgraded Engine Programming from Dodge
Magnaflow Exhaust
Cold Air Intake
120XXX miles
Clear title
Needs nothing other than your butt in the driver's seat.

The car is black with a black leather interior.

Car gets 24ish MPG and should have 375 HP with the performance upgrades.

This car runs and drives like it is new. I bought the car from an Amsoil dealer and the car has had nothing but premium synthetic oil since new. Interior is very, very nice. Do not let the miles scare you away.

For the $11,000 you will get the car and also another set of snow tires for it that have about 3000 miles on them.

It looks wicked. It's fast. It's fun.

DISCLAIMER (*updated*): I know it isn't a requirement to read the whole ad here, but I have had about 30 calls/emails offering me $4000 and up or a trade for some decorative rock and your Jet Ski (that doesn't run, but did at one time) among other things. Let's get one thing perfectly crystal clear: If you don't have any money or an Indian Chief to trade me, please just go on the the next ad and leave me alone. I don't want your decorative rock. I don't want your Bobcat, your 1978 Mustang, your Lincoln LS or your 2003 Tahoe. I am not a bank. I am not interested in financing you no matter what the terms might be. I would never consider letting you take the car and make payments to me. Never. Let's get that in here again for the cheap seats: NEVER. I don't want your lowball cash offer when you haven't even seen the car. If you can't afford this car, please don't waste my time and yours. I don't want anything on trade besides MAYBE an Indian Chief or money. This is a nice car that I own and I do not NEED to sell it. I am NOT desperate and willing to sell it for a third of what it is worth. I am not getting divorced, hurting for cash or trying to save my home. I know a lot of people selling things are in that reality right now and I was too, but I am not anymore. I have priced this car well below KBB and NADA values for a quick sale. If you aren't able to pay this amount or could only pay half or a third of this amount (and trade me for your neighbor's lawnmower and some bird houses or whatever else you can dream up) please do not bother contacting me. So, serious inquiries only PLEASE, okay? Thank you. ;)

$11,000 FIRM

Cash or possible trade for Indian Chief only. Email only now since my cell phone has been abused by tire kicking wasters of my time. Sorry. I will answer emails promptly.

Thanks for looking.

Here are some of the responses I got:

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From "Joe:"

interested in 06 lincoln ls>>

95xxx miles
silver/chrome pillars
heated and cooled leather
tinted windows..

Response: I would take your trade if the car has $11,000 or and Indian Chief in the glove box. What do you think?

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From "Hank:"

Interested in trading for a 1972 mustang convertible??

Response: I would take your trade if the car has $11,000 or and Indian Chief in the glove box. What do you think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From "Oscar:"

Hey buddy do u still have the charger 4sale ? If so I want 2 offer u $8000 cash what do u think ?

Response: Haha. No.

Oscar: Haha y?

Response: It's already 3 grand below book. How about $14,000?

Oscar: Why more?

Response: Because if you are willing to go up $3000 and I am willing to go down $3000 we can settle on $11,000.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Easyrider:"

Trade for a Bobcat 463 skidsteer with grapple bucket and only 384 hours?

Response: Sounds great! As long as you also trade me $11,000! What do you say?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Brandon:"

Would u trade for my 85 cutlass I got it listed on CL for 27,000 but will do a straight out trade for ur charger if interested!

Response: If it has $11,000 cash in the glove box, yes. If not, no. ;)
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From "Brandle:"

Yo you should definitely call me 347-225-9817. 100 % pure A big heads up.

Response: Yo! You should definitely email me with your questions, 100% pure big heads up!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Marcus:"

I want to trade with you and the rest I'll pay with cash on the spot.

Response: What do you want to trade?

[Crickets chirping]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Jake:"

I am interested in your 06 Charger. If the vehicle is still available, please contact me at 763-354-XXXX. Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Response: *I called him. He's a dealer that wants to consign my car. He emails me a couple times a week to tell me how he could easily sell my car, but I need to give it to him to "show" people. So, just so we are clear, he wants me to give him my car to drive for a couple months so he can sell it. Seriously. Where does it say in my listing that I want to give you my car to drive so you can sell it for me? WTF?!?*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Hoppen:"

where is the car located? what kind of gas mileage does it get?

Ever been in a wreck? any thing else about it.

Response: These things are all in the listing. All of the answers you seek are in the ad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Whitney:"

Would you do a payment plan over 2 months time?

Response: No. I will not finance. Will you take a reading course and apply your new skills to my ad?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Jose:"

Hey names Jose would you take 9000 cash

Response: Hard to make an offer on a car you have never seen, isn't it?

Jose: Haha yea but have you sold it

Response: Nope. I still have the car. I haven't been contacted by anyone that has actual real money yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Hank:" (AGAIN)

Interested in trading for a 1972 mustang convertible??

Response: No. Still no. No.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From "Celania:"

What kind of CAI do you have in your charger? Would you be willing to sell it separate from the car? If so, how much?

Response: Yes! I would LOVE to sell it. Nothing like parting out a car I am trying to sell. Would you like the driver's seat and perhaps the left rear taillight? I am only asking $11,000 for the CAI, but I will throw all the rest of this stuff in as well as some other parts (the whole car) to sweeten up the deal for you. What do you think?

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You have to love Craigslist. You have to be impressed with the brilliance of many of the people that shop there....

To pay for TV...

2011-06-12T20:58:00.004-05:00

I recently..well in the last couple months decided that I no longer need cable or television at all. This isn't some strange cult thing, I just see no need to pay for a service that I rarely use and quite frankly think is pretty depressing to watch. Also, I prefer to spend my time being active versus sitting on my ass. Anyway, I cancelled the service and paid all remaining bills I had and then returned my equipment. A month or so after I received an email from them saying all of my equipment was returned in good condition, I received another bill from the company. I am protesting it. Here it is:

Hello~

This is in regards to account # 8255 11 024 00140

I cancelled my service a couple months ago and paid via credit card for all outstanding charges. In fact, I overpaid. You refunded me my overpayment.

Today I got another bill in the mail from your company for a "receiver return" fee. I am certain that this bill must be in error since I returned all of the equipment that I ever got from you as per instructed (and in a timely fashion) and I received an email confirming that everything was returned in good condition.

I am not willing to pay this bill without explanation. It seems that this bill is just another way to get $15 and some sales tax from me. I tried to call and have this bill explained to me, but the customer service line is nothing more than 25 minutes of automated menu nonsense. So, I called the sales line and "ta da!" I got a real, live person right away. I am unwilling to sit on hold and got through countless menus of automated service to try to correct a bill that I think is a mistake.

So, explain this to me. Or, just correct this incorrect bill and say thanks for the many, many years I paid your company for television.

I appreciate your attention in this matter.

Regards,

Brad Miller

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Dear Mr. Miller,

Thank you for taking time to contact us.

We understand your concern. The customer agreement that you signed upon starting service with DISH states that customers are responsible for the return of leased receivers when disconnecting service. The label included on the box that you will receive is at a discounted price and will cost you significantly less than if you opted to ship the equipment back on your own. If you choose to use the label, you will be charged a flat $15.00. If you choose to use your own shipping method and box to return the receiver, you will not be invoiced for this fee. If you return the equipment before the end of your last billing cycle, you’ll see that fee included on your final invoice.

If you wish to discuss any points we have not clarified or need any further information, please call our Customer Service Center toll-free number at 1-800-894-9131. You can also visit dishnetwork.com/chat to start a live chat with a customer service representative so we may further assist you. Our DISH Network representatives are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to help answer any questions you may have.

Thank you for your e-mail.

Sincerely,

Darrel G. – CN1
TID:OR-Chrysler
DISH Network eCare

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Darrel G. – CN1

I appreciate your response.

Just so I understand this correctly. Via email and telephone I was informed that I was being sent return packaging and a label for my convenience and the safety of the receivers and remotes that I was returning, correct? After you sent these out and since I used them, I am being charged for their use?

If this is the case, can I have the box sent back to me? If I have paid $15 for a box and a label that your company mailed out for my convenience, at this time I think it would be more convenient for me to have said box since I am not sure that any other time in my life I have seen a box that is worth $15.

If I had just thrown the box away, I would not have gotten charged? What happens to the box then? Is the label reusable?

Regards,

Brad Miller
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sir or Madam,

Thank you for taking time to contact us.

We understand your situation. Please contact our Customer Service Center at 1-800-894-9131 and they can better assist you with your concern or by visiting the link below to chat live with a customer service representative.

www.dishnetwork.com/chat

Thank you for your e-mail.

Sincerely,

Darrel G. – CN1
TID:OR-Chrysler
DISH Network eCare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Darrel G. – CN1,
The reason for my first email to you was because I had just spent a good portion of my morning on the phone with an automated menu service that was unable to do anything for me other than cause frustration and elevate my blood pressure to levels only normally reserved for people attempting to fly into space with a homemade craft.

Please reread the first email I sent you. I can wait.

[waits]

[still waits]

[waits even longer]

[Tom Waits]

Okay. So, do you understand where I am coming from as far as returning to phone support goes? I really have zero interest in wasting my time on hold with your automated system or with a customer service representative that cannot help me with my problem (READ: Sales department since that's the only line that has a LIVE person on it).

So please just credit my account for the $15 or return the box to me and I will pay for it. Be sure if you are returning the box to me that you return the box I used and no other. I do not want to have you accidentally give me somebody else's $15 box. I will know my box when I see it as I put a special, secret mark on it.

Regards,

Brad Miller

.

More good ol' Barry...

2011-04-19T12:30:00.000-05:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_gulf_oil_spill_bp_moving_on

"By the fall, there was talk that the crisis wasn't as bad as feared and that the Gulf might recover sooner than expected. Then soaring oil prices came to the company's rescue, boosting its bottom line..."

It's truths like this that make the President going on TV saying he's looking for "asses to kick" ridiculous. Seems our government's involvement in "safer and environmentally friendlier" drilling methods via lack of drilling permits and drilling bans actually rewarded BP. Since the drilling ban and limited issuance of permits, crude oil prices have soared and this is directly making billions of dollars of profits for all oil companies including BP. So, at the rate they are at, BP will have recouped ALL losses from the lost Horizon rig within a few years. Sure makes Obama's "ass kicking" monetary fine to "teach BP a lesson" seem silly, yes? Did the Obama administration know that BP was going to be making huge money this year? Well, they are foolish at best if they didn't. Free markets are controlled by supply and demand. If the government hinders the supply, prices will increase because of increased demand. Was this an under the table deal? Who knows? One thing is for sure, though. Pretty tough to keep blindly following the Obama way when it is constantly wrought with failure, lack of foresight, outrageous spending, and lack of understanding of simple economics.

If anyone wants to complain about high gas prices, they should be thankful they voted for Obama (if they did). If you are an Obama supporter, you are now just beginning to get what you wanted so badly. Also, in the next few years with increased taxes, reduced value of the dollar, and drastically higher food costs, you will get another full serving of Obama goodness. I suppose I should also mention the lack of private sector economic growth we will have in this country due to the passage of Obamacare.

Hats off to our government. Bang up job on "kicking asses," Barry. You really showed BP who's boss.

What do we need?

2011-03-22T18:08:00.002-05:00

I recently traveled to New Zealand from my home of fabulous Minnesota, U.S.A. People told me before I left that this was "the trip of a lifetime" and that I would come back "a changed man." I hate to admit that they were right, but they really were. It was an amazing trip. I did come back a changed man in many ways, so the people were right.

After my beautiful fiance and I landed over there, I relearned a few things that I had forgotten. I was exposed to ideas that I hadn't considered for many years. My eyes were closed when I left, but upon departure from that lovely little island, I felt like my eyes were open for the first time in years. It was a good feeling. It was grand.

I decided to write about one of the quirky things I realized whilst on said adventure.

Being without a mobile phone is scary, but liberating. To be completely honest with you, I haven't been without a mobile device of some sort for years and years. I would guess that I have had one with me since they were first available in my area of Minnesota. I suppose it was the early 1990's. I never really knew what life would be like without it. I have been a long time defender of my many reasons for having it near me at all times. I think we all have reasons, don't we? My reasons were things like that I want my daughter to always be able to reach me. Also, I am self employed, so what if something happens at work? What if they need to ask me a question? What if they have an emergency? I think these are not outlandish reasons to carry a phone, by any means. Aside from that, in the last few months I had upgraded to a "smart" phone not realizing that this one "smart" step would slide me further into mobile phone reliance than any step prior. I think it may have made me more reliant on mobile service than all other steps in that direction I had taken up until this point. It is am amazing little device. It has fast internet. It has GPS with phone numbers for your destination built right in. It has the ability to play music, stream live internet music, and text at the same time. It is, in a word, incredible. It is a curse. I think it is a very bad evil.

This reliance on mobile service has it's very own drawbacks. Before I left on my adventure, I called my mobile provider and I asked them about service options internationally. I was assured that my phone would work as normal, but that it was much more expensive to use it in a foreign land. Fine. I thought that was okay as long as it worked as it did here in the U.S. When we landed in Christchuch, New Zealand, I wanted to call my daughter and tell her that we were okay. I tried, but I couldn't call out. I had service bars, but no luck. What the heck? So, I went back into the airport again to ask the good people at the help counter for advice or tips. They told me to buy an international SIM card and then my phone should work as good as normal. I though about it and remembered that the customer service representative I spoke to with my mobile provider had said something similar to that, too. So, I bought one, I went outside, and I tried to install it. I didn't realize that my new phone doesn't use a SIM card like my old one did. It wouldn't work. There was no place to put it. Crap. My bad. I went back in and asked the help counter people for a different idea since the SIM card plan was a loser. They told me to try an international calling card. It seemed logical, so I bought one. I went outside to try to call home, but still was unable to. Now, instead of it being a parts problem, it was a service provider problem. At this point, I spent about $100 trying to call home and hadn't been able to. My fiance was supremely patient with me as I melted down. I didn't curse, swear, or rant. But, I am sure by this point my face was flushed and my blood pressure was about 300/200. What was I going to do? There was no going home. What if there was an emergency? What if something happens? How will anybody reach me? How will I reach them? I panicked. I was scared. I felt naked.

This was the beginning. It was a blessed thing.

As time passed on our trip, I accepted that I didn't need to check my email each and every day as I had become accustomed to on my mobile phone. I had no need for Facebook and I kept living even if I didn't see what so and so's latest status update was. I realized that I didn't need to talk to people at home on and off over the course of the day to survive. I realized that I didn't always need to be reached for questions. I mean, I was on vacation, right? Sure, I missed my family and child, but I knew that they missed me too and that was comfort enough. Realization is a good thing, right?

My realization was followed with a strong bout of self loathing. I was fully disgusted with myself. I had the full range of emotions. I validated my phone use to myself. I tried to sell it to myself and portray the idea that MY life was SO important. Doing this, I was justified and smug. Soon after, I was sad for losing the freedom to be just "gone." I felt weak that I relied on a nameless, faceless service in my every day life. Even later, I became angry with myself. What had I become? Seriously. Do I really need that? Do I need mobile service?

I hate the idea that the mobile phone company owns me for about $90 per month. I hate the idea that I might walk down the street with my eyes on a electronic device and miss something beautiful in nature. I hate the idea that not only can I be reached everywhere, but the mobile service provider ALWAYS knows where I am and I have given them that ability of my own free will. I wonder how valuable a skill such as mobile device operation ability would be without electricity? How about without functioning mobile service towers? What good is that gizmo, then? It there an "app" that lights a campfire so I can cook my food? Can I survive in the woods with my phone and nothing else? Does it really have anything to teach me that's valuable? Is there an "app" that has any value without the service? Sorry, but I don't think so.

My fiance bought maps of New Zealand before we left from the States. I thought they were great to look at and plan our drives and adventures, but when it came to the actual travel, I was sure I would use the GPS built into my phone to navigate us safely and quickly. Boy, was I ever wrong? Bless her and her maps for reminding me that just because something can be done a certain way, doesn't mean that it can ONLY be done that way.

I had also assumed that I would be able to listen to internet radio the whole time when we drove in our rental car. I was wrong again, and thank heavens for it. My fiance and I played a name game in the car off and on for a couple days. We told stories of our pasts. We talked about deep, interesting things that I think most people are too scared or too detached to talk about. We spoke of our hopes and our dreams. We spoke about our future and what it might hold. Sometimes we spoke. Sometimes we drove in silence and took in the full view of the scenery. Either way, it was absolutely liberating and wonderful.

As it all turned out in the end, I was able to text my friends and family in America now and then and they could call me, but I couldn't call them. That's simple enough. After a few days, I began to not really care at all about the grocery list of voicemails I had that I couldn't hear or respond to. I was able to speak to my daughter for a few minutes here and there to tell that I was having fun and missing her. I spoke to my parents for a little while to check on the rest of my family. I was relieved a little. I lived. I survived. I was fine. I was healthy without mobile service convenient and at my fingertips. Without my cell phone, the world still turned and our lives continued. It was a great revelation. Who would have thought?

Okay.

2011-03-07T17:24:00.000-06:00

I am trying, okay?

I returned from the most life-changing adventure on Feb 26. I am trying to get back into the swing of things some and dedicate some time to write about it. It needs to be written about. I want to spray out some words and pics about it. I need to.

Anywho, one of these days, I promise to post pics and words. One of these days.

I think the hardest thing about returning from a long, sensational vacation is the harsh realization that I don't enjoy my day to day life working NEARLY as much as I enjoy my day to day having adventures. Career change for me? Probably not. Different perspective on life? Certainly.

I am sure of a couple things. We are small and insignificant in this world. Our time here in this life is short, violent, and grossly unimportant on the scale of Earth and the world.

I am so blessed to have Amanda to share my time with. I love her.

Ring, ring goes the phone.

2011-01-26T14:12:00.003-06:00

I hate my home phone.

I like the idea of a home phone since the service is super reliable and normally unaffected by weather and whatnot, but I do not like the expense of having it. I wouldn't have it if it wasn't for internet.

In my town, Mediacom is the cable internet provider. Unfortunately for me, even though I am in city limits they do not provide service on my block since I am the only residence. Well, they will get me service, but only if I agree to pay to have them run the cables. That's pretty much out of the question.

I should back up.

In 2007, I got divorced. Since I got divorced, I have switched my home phone number six or seven times. Each time I have done it, I have made my number unlisted. Also, I am on the "Do Not Call" list. The main reasons for these switches is that my ex wife has a multitude of collection agencies after her at any given time and even though she hasn't been a resident at my house for almost four years, they still constantly call looking for her. Daily. Last year I was still getting twenty to twenty five calls a week for her. These days, it is more like fifteen or so per week. Either way, I called the phone company today because I have had enough.

I asked the nice lady at Century Link (my phone provider) how I could be getting these calls since I AM on the "Do Not Call" list and my number is also unlisted. Clearly, I told her, the problem lies with their company because they are the only ones that know I have this phone number. She said that there really isn't anything that she can do for me other than try switching the number again. Or, she told me, for an additional fee I can block up to twelve numbers. I guess she doesn't realize that I don't have numbers to the collection places or telemarketers. If I did, I would call them a hundred times a day until they left me alone. So, a mostly useless suggestion.

Back to why I called them in the first place. I hate that I have a home phone. Where I live, it is less expensive to have a home phone and compliment that service with DSL than it is to just have the DSL. Go figure.

So, I decided today that I would call and get information on getting my internet service through my cable provider which is Dish Network. They usually send me a couple letters in the mail each year boldly proclaiming that they can save my "MEGA MONEY" by bundling my television and internet services together.

I found one of my old bills from Dish Network and called customer service. About eight minutes of computer menus later, I got a real, live person and he refused to tell me about their program. He refused. He would NOT tell me because since I am already a Century Link internet customer, so anything he could quote me may not be a solid rate. So, he told me to get the rate, I need to call Century Link and cancel my service. Then, I can call Dish Network back and they can set me up. I asked if I would be saving money in doing this? He said he didn't know.

I hung up the phone and called Century Link back. I got a nice woman that had the title of "Internet Specialist" on this call. I asked her about the package programs that they have with Dish Network. She told me that they don't do any business with Dish Network anymore. She said that they have switched to Direct TV since the program was better. I told her that I just got off the phone with Dish Network and the service representative there just told me that he could bundle his Dish Network programming with Century Link DSL and save me some money. She told me that she had no knowledge that Dish Network could do that anymore. I said thanks and goodbye to her.

This is getting me nowhere.

I called Dish Network back and figured I would try to just tell them that I want to establish new service so I could at least get a rate idea. So, I did. The nice customer service representative I had this time quoted me rates that I thought were okay. I asked her if Dish Network does all the billing for this. She said no. She told me that Century Link would bill me separately from them. I asked her if there would be an access charge from Century Link. She said that she didn't know, but that I would have to call Century Link and find out. I said I already called Century Link and they said that they don't do business with Dish Network anymore. She asked if I was already a Century Link DSL customer. I said yes, but I want to consolidate these services into one bill and do away with my home phone. She got a little angry with me as if I was wasting her time and said that if she would have known that I was already a Century Link customer, she would not have quoted me anything. She informed me that any rate quote she had given me was null and void. She said she could not help me, but if there was anything else she could do for me today, just let her know.

[facepalms]

[facepalms again]

So, I called Century Link back and spoke with another "Internet Specialist." This time, though, I asked her what speed my current DSL was. She told me it was 1.5M. I asked her how much more money it would be to go to their fastest service (10M). She told me less than five dollars per month. I told her to do it.

I don't know how it all came to this. I didn't get rid of my home phone and the harassing calls from collection agencies and telemarketers. I didn't reduce my monthly bills at all. In fact, I raised my monthly bills. I spend over two hours on the phone trying to get answers for questions that are, to my knowledge at this time, impossible to answer.

So, we are better off outsourcing customer service in this country?

We ALL want something...

2011-01-24T15:28:00.000-06:00

This was forwarded to me by a friend. I don't know who made it, so it is possible and likely that I am pissing somebody off.

It pretty much sums up almost anything I can think of.

It's true. We ALL want something.

No animals were injured or eaten in this post.

The Second of June.

2011-01-17T16:14:00.000-06:00

The second of June.

I don't know if it is "blue car syndrome" or not. Blue car syndrome would be after you buy a blue car, then you notice that EVERYONE seems to have a blue car. Before you had a blue car, though, you never paid any attention to them.

June 2.
Yesterday, I was reading in the reading room (the bathroom) "Wolves of the Calla" by Stephen King. The line I read was this. "The second of June." That was the complete sentence. Then, instantly following it was a knocking on the reading room door. Who was knocking? My beautiful fiance with her June 2nd birthday.

dos Junio

Last night my fiance and I were hanging out in the garage and I was looking through some boxes of old stuff from when I was a kid. I found my eighth grade diploma from St. James Lutheran School. I looked at the date on my diploma, and it was June 2, 1988.

June 2nd.

In another box in the garage last night I found my fishing license from the last year I went to Canada fishing with my family. This was something that my family did together for a few years, but when my brothers and sisters and I started getting older, it became more difficult to go, so as a family we were never able to go again. The date of issue of my fishing license was June 2, 1987.

The 2nd of June.

I noted this date quite a bit in the last few months and it seems to be a date for me that is evident in my life very frequently.

June 2nd happenings with their respective years:

1692 – Bridget Bishop is the first person to go to trial in the Salem witch trials in Salem, Massachusetts. Found guilty, she is hanged on June 10.

1835 – P. T. Barnum and his circus start their first tour of the United States.

1886 – U.S. President Grover Cleveland marries Frances Folsom in the White House, becoming the only president to wed in the executive mansion.

1896 – Guglielmo Marconi applies for a patent for his newest invention: the radio.

1924 – U.S. President Calvin Coolidge signs the Indian Citizenship Act into law, granting citizenship to all Native Americans born within the territorial limits of the United States.

1980 - The birth Amanda Rae. The love of my life.

I will keep a watchful eye on this date. Or, maybe I won't. Is it all coincidence? Probably not.

Tick.

2010-12-30T09:25:00.002-06:00

Lead, follow, or get out of the way." --Thomas Paine

I did some thinking this morning while running. The quote "Lead, follow, or get out of the way" has a lot of merit. It's not too shabby of a guideline, is it? It is maybe a little brash, but it does drive home a fine point.

There is a finite amount of time for us on this planet. No matter what course of action you take in this life, time still passes. Time still passes if you want to take things very slowly. Time passes if you want to speed through things very quickly. Time still passes even if you decide to put off making a decision on a course of action. Nothing stops time.

So, there it is. Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

We have things to do. We have goals to achieve. We have life to live. Tick tock. Time just keeps rolling by.

In our lives, the people around us can show us how they would live. They can show us how they would do things. They can lead us down the path that they would take. "Follow me!"

The others in our life can follow us. They can do things how we would do them. "Get behind me!" Ha.

If the people in our lives cannot choose one of these courses of action, they should just get out of the way.

Time is wasting. My time is precious. I don't have time to waste on a dead end road. I don't have time to waste on unhappiness. I don't have time to waste on indecisiveness. I don't have time to waste on a tree blocking the road. I don't want to miss out on a minute of happiness because of an hour of despair.

So, lead, follow, or get out of the way. I am going to lead, or you show me how. But, if you aren't doing anything at all, get out of my way.

"Hey ho, let's go! Hey ho, let's go!" - Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones

No Exit Needed.

2010-12-21T11:14:00.008-06:00

"I've got arms,
And I've got arms
Let's get together and use those arms!
Let's go!
Times a wastin'!"
Time's A Wastin' (June Carter Cash)

In a time of uncertainty and chaos in the world of life and relationships I have asked somebody participate in a very old tradition with me. I have done what I said I would never do again. Ever. I have asked a woman to be my wife. I asked a girl to marry me. And, she accepted.

With the divorce rate in this country hovering at a little over 51% the idea of marriage could be a frightening one. When you factor in that the divorce rate has actually dropped a little in the past few years because people just aren't getting married anymore, it could become even more scary. Numbers and statistics can be hard to ignore, can't they? Does anybody really ever say "forever" and mean it? Odds are that if you have at one time or another, there is a little better than a 50/50 chance that you will end up divorced. Think of ten of your friends that are married and imagine that 5.1 of them gets divorced in the next few years. That's not really very good odds, is it? Then, when you factor in that the actual rate of people staying together for the long term is lower yet since many people aren't even bothering to get married since their confidence in the idea of it lacks luster. Many people feel that getting married just complicates the breakup. I think that they are right in thinking that since marriage does really complicate the breakup. So, why get married if you are just going to split up eventually anyway? Then again, why stay with somebody for any amount of time if you are planning on ending it someday, anyway?

What makes my relationship so special that after less than half of a year, I am willing to commit for the rest of my life? Am I a fool? Is she? Are we both just dumb and in love? Are her and I both living in an unrealistic fantasy mindset in which no matter what happens things will just magically work out? Just because? Do people really stay in love anymore? Do people ever stay together anymore? Really? When people say "I do" do they really mean "I do for now?" Or do they mean, "I do until something better comes along?" Do people just keep looking to stoke the fire inside of them, and if it starts to dwindle are they ready to fly away to find a new source of fire? Is it ego? Is it pride? Is it selfishness that people decide to end their relationships?

I think my relationship is different than most. I think that her and I are different than most people. I have left myself no exit strategy. I have asked her to leave herself no open exit door. For the first time in my life, I want to be married. For the first time in my life I want this one precious person to share my every waking moment. I look at her and I know that it is right. I know that I want her and her only. I want this one person to be with me, equally and beside me no matter what comes our way. I don't want a way out with her. I don't need to leave myself a lit exit door because I know that together her and I can conquer anything this life can bring in front of us. I look at my parents with envy for the 46 years that they have been together and I know that they are still very in love. I want to be the way that they are, forever. I have found the person that I can do that with. It is very exciting!

I know no matter what happens, she has given me the best times of my life. There is nothing anybody can do to erase that. There is nothing anybody can say to tarnish that. That's why I love her and want her without holding back. That is why I don't need a good exit strategy. I don't need an easy way out. I don't need any way out.

I can't wait to be her husband. I cannot wait to call her my wife.

Because.

2010-12-01T08:55:00.002-06:00

In this world I think most of us, if given a choice, would take the path of least resistance. We would never have to fight to have what we want. Well, there are some of you out there that would disagree, but I know that when you get home at night, you're alone, and there isn't anyone for you put your super-tough-as-nails face on for, you would agree. We all, as a species, truly want peace. We want low stress. It is in our nature.

In this life many times we are presented with problems and situations that not only ask a lot from us, but sometimes way more than we ever thought we have to give. Questions arise. Why me? Why this?

Why do I always have my neck on the line? Because you can. Because your neck is tough. It has been there before and has persevered. If it hadn't, you wouldn't be here today.

Why am I always the one who has to give a little extra? Because you can. It is in your abilities to give a little extra maybe at a higher level than those others around you. You can do it.

Why is my life always put on hold for the needs of others? Because you are able to give more in your life than they can. You have the gift of giving of yourself at a higher level than some other people without having your life put into an upheaval in doing it. If your life IS put into disarray because of it, you have the ability to recover quickly. Be thankful for that gift.

Why am I always the one that has to forgive? Because you can. You have it in you to forgive. You have it in you to see past the shortcomings or unfavorable actions or reactions of others and cut them some slack even though they may not return that slack to you. But, you know it is okay because you look at the big picture and try not to trouble yourself with the petty.

Why do things always have to be so hard? Because God knows what you can take and won't give you more than that. Because you can survive almost anything. You have spent your whole life training to continue your life. Because instead of just looking like you are tough-as-nails, although you may not feel like it, you are tough as nails.

Why does it seem like I work so hard but never get ahead? Every day you wake up and have a roof over your head and food in your mouth, it is a good day. If you have people to share this day with, it is even a better day. You have gotten ahead just by getting through your day. You are a success. Revel in it.

What am I supposed to do now? Breathe. Think. Breathe some more. There is a path. There is a way. You will find it. You have always found it before. You will find it again. And, this path, whether it is right or wrong, is your path. This is the way things are supposed to go. This is what you are supposed to do.

What if I make a mistake? Then you are human. If the people that are important to you can't look past it, then you need to surround yourself with people that accept you as a human. If you fall, you get back up, dust off, and continue. That's what you do.

What is really important in this life? Love. God. Kindness. Family. Friends. It certainly isn't houses, cars, boats, jobs or anything else that could easily be burned, destroyed, or discarded as rubbish. The moments we share with the people that care define our lives. That's all there is to it.

This is what was on my mind today.

Damn, it feels good...

2010-11-28T17:41:00.001-06:00

"Now gangsta-ass niggas come in all shapes and colors
Some got killed in the past
But this gangtsa here is a smart one
Started living for the Lord and I last."
"Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" Geto Boys

There is no reason to keep score.
There used to be a reason. Hell, there used to be reasons. Not anymore. Now, there is just the goal. Now, there is just my life. Now, there is reality and keeping score messes up reality. Aside from that, what good does keeping score do other than feed resentments and hostility? Any? Nope. So, never again.

Throw away that useless pride.
Seriously, it is time, anyway. The ten-year-old inside me can kick that dented can around all day with my lower lip sticking out, but it doesn't do any good. In my old life, that little kid might had escalated his frustration into something else. But, in this life there is really no point. The little kid is safe. The little kid is sensitive, but he's still in love. He needs to learn patience. It is in his best interest. This is tough sometimes.

Just because something isn't comfortable, doesn't mean it isn't safe.
Even though at times the scared little shithead inside of me panics for no good apparent reason. Is this part of my "ism" or is it just fear from a life lived less pretty? I think it is both. My old life was one of drinking, paranoia and deceit, but that really has little to do with my current life. But, I don't have the ugly old reality of my past anymore so there is no sense is buggering up about it. It takes a fool to spit in the face of honesty because of fear. There have been many days that I have been that fool. But, not today.

Live in the now.
Experience teaches us many things. Some of them are better unlearned, I think. Experience could teach you that if you are out of money and keep writing checks anyway, that the checks may bounce and you could land yourself into some trouble. But, experience in the realm of relationships seems somewhat pointless. There simply are too many variables in a romance to use the experience from your past to label it our shelf it. See?!? It's easy!

I have learned scads about myself in the last 3 months. Wow, that great handle I thought I had on my emotions and on my life is maybe not as great as I thought it was when it comes to having a relationship with the absolute intimacy and absolute honesty. When you keep others arm's length your whole life, it is easy to run your life with a rule of seemingly rational thinking and lack of emotion. It is easy to see the sound (yet perhaps emotionless) decisions and if they don't work out, it really doesn't matter anyway.

This life I have now has an entirely different set of rules. So, I need to remember to brace for them. Sit down. Breathe. Know that things are okay. Have faith. Faith is a good thing.

To quote my beautiful, wonderful and amazing girlfriend, "I am a work in progress." She's brilliant, you know. I AM a work in progress, too. And, I love her. I am not letting her go.

I should have my head examined.

2010-11-12T10:14:00.001-06:00

I need to have my head examined. I think I do. I do.

What's obsessive/compulsive disorder at its finest? Apples. Eating apples. Eating a boatload of friggin' apples. Eating 5-7 apples each and every day. I have started to eat apples. I have eaten more apples in the last month than I have my entire life. Thanks to my friends that have introduced these babies into my life. Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot.

I suppose like any other OCD thing I do, this too will run its course. Well, hopefully it does. They will be out of season soon (some of them are already getting a little mushy in the store) and I certainly don't want to buy "imported" apples. Where would out of season apples come from? Why should I support some other countries' economy? What $.25 a day child labor picked those apples? Did they wash their hands first? Do they have clean water to wash in at all? It opens another complete can of moral worms to mull over. And then, there will be the guilt associated with participating in the purchase of items that have been more or less harvested or created with slave labor. Does feeling guilty and worrying about the morality of eating imported out-of-season fruits and vegetables outweigh the potential health benefits from the consumption of said fruits and vegetables in the first place?

Or, in the purchase of imported out-of-season foods would I be making those fine people's lives better? Could I be making their lives better? If I purchase imported fruits and vegetables from them WOULD they buy clean water to drink and wash in (if they don't already have it) with their increased income? Do they buy useful things at all? Do they take better care of their health with their money? Do they buy better shoes and clothes for their kids? Do they get a better handle on health care that is maybe perhaps not always a necessity? Do they go to the doctor for a check-up just because they can? Do they go the the dentist? Is purchasing anything from them a helpful, noble thing, or is it just another way the giant corporate beast gets its proverbial meal?

Hmm...

Thank God I tire of the same food quickly. Whew! I don't know if I can handle all of the stress from eating fresh fruit.

When i grow up...

2010-10-26T10:33:00.006-05:00

many people spend a lot of their lives trying to figure out "what to be" when they grow up.

when you are college age, it is a huge overwhelming decision.

what do YOU want to do...forever? And, ever?

it took me until the fresh, young age of 36 years to finally decide

that i really don't know what i want to be.

i know that i am good at some things,

but not so good at others.

i know i have strong points and interests.

yet, i also have a plethora of weakness and disinterest.

i don't know what i want to do forever,

except that i do not want to do the same thing forever,

unless i can do or not do these things.

i do not want to work ever again unless i am in the mood.

i do not want to plan for my future.

i do not want to save money.

i do not want to worry about money or a job.

i do not want to become "presentable" or "proper" or "respectable."

i want to love my fellow human beings without resentment or hostility.

i want to see my loved ones for at least a short while each and every day.

i want to play a lot. even more than you were just thinking.

i want to go tour around the world with Amanda and Sydney,

and walk off of the beaten path all of the time.

i want to see nature the way God made it and not the way man has changed it.

i want to sleep in every day.

i want to just relax.

i want to read in the bathtub.

i want to spend about 10 hours of each day in bed,

and not feel guilty as if i need to hurry up and do something or anything.

since I don't need to go to work anyway,

my "off" time is all the time.

i could enjoy my time all of the time because i can live and breathe each moment

rather than scramble and kick and claw for a gasp

of air to breathe each moment with.

i don't want to miss anything important in this life.

i don't want to miss anything important in the lives of my loved ones.

i want to spend at least one hour of every day inside a hug from one of my loved ones.

if they aren't available i could substitute them for some other

very important person which in all reality is anyone and everyone.

i want sweet tango apples year around.

i want to carve pumpkins 2-3 times a year.

it isn't too much to ask, is it?

i think what i am really destined to be is a father and a husband.

i think i am destined to be a brother, a son, an uncle and a friend.

aside from that, the rest is all consequence.

what could be better?

So sorry..or am I?

2010-10-15T00:04:00.003-05:00

I hate to say I have little to write about these days. I have things to write about, I guess.

I could write about my now newly expanding list of things to do before I die. But, who wants to read about that?

I could write about the places I want to go to that I wasn't very interested in before, but do you care about that?

I could write about the amazing awakening I have felt in these past couple months and how because of the inspiration I have felt, I am forever changed. But, who wants to read about that?

I could write about the rapid pace of which this love in my life is going and possibly expose myself to your frowns of disapproval. Well, maybe not disapproval but more words of caution. Either way I could write about it and how wonderful it is and read your reactions of mock vomiting and bad movie line quotes. In my defense I could explain to you that I know what I am doing and I am a sober, mature adult and I have never been so sure of anything in this life before. But, why bother? I am not so sure you will understand. I am almost certain you won't.

I could write about all of the plans I have for my future that didn't exist in July of this year and are becoming reality right now. I am not talking about simple, trivial things, either. I mean big, huge, serious friggin' plans. But again, would you tell me to go for it? Would you tell me to pump my brakes? Would you tell me anything at all? Hmm...

Is it a time for a more introverted life? I don't think so. Is it time to keep more of my private thoughts to myself or share them only with the person that inspired them? Perhaps so. I don't want to have this love I have diluted or polluted with any negative thoughts. Maybe Howard Stern's ex-wife had it right. Maybe I need to retain some "private parts" in my life now.

Some things are for sure. I hear slow songs in my head all day long now and I have for almost 2 months. I have longing and pining during my days that I have never experienced. If I wake up in the morning and I am alone, I feel that half of me is missing. I watch my phone waiting for it to ring or beep as if it was the television. I can't eat. I can't sleep. Yet, I have more energy than I had before.

I am in deep in this love thing.
I am going to keep this one.
I am not letting her get away.

Coincidence?

2010-09-20T00:04:00.008-05:00

You have never felt what I feel now. If you had, you would never anger at your fellow man. You would look upon him with compassion and know the he has never felt the way you do, and that's where his ill feelings began.

I can love her and I can tell her that I love her and I do both. I love her. I tell her I love her. Sadly, the later does little justice to how I feel. Trying to put the feelings I have for her into words insults the feelings because the words simply do not exist. So, until a better batch of words is spawned, I will use the ones I have at my disposal to try to tell her I love her and hope my feelings can forgive me for the insult.

Coincidences are events that we were blind to see until we got to a time when it became peculiar for us to see them. So, when it became peculiar, we saw them and we were AMAZED at the depth of the coincidence. I have so many coincidences in my life that I cannot even fathom their source or their purpose other than to reinforce things that I already know to be true. We are connected to other people on this planet, this I know. I never had any idea how deeply we can be connected. Now, I cannot believe how connected I am. It is marvelous and terrifying. It is exciting. With my sober eyes wide open, it blows my mind that I experience so many similarities and coincidences. Incredible, it is.

Souls are on the inside. Too bad for her, I can see her beautiful, beautiful inside just by gazing into her golden eyes. She's ravishing and captivating with nothing more than a glance, but upon a little deeper inspection, I have found that I can look right into her core. Right into her soul. It is an amazing, incredible (here's another example of where existing words just don't cut it) thing. She had me at hello but will keep me forever with nothing more than just being herself. Remarkable, indeed.

Fear is scary and destructive. But, to confidently live without fear is either naive, excessively hopeful, or maybe the way God intended. Or is it all a matter of trust? I guess maybe it is all of the above all wrapped into one. Certainty about our places in our lives is difficult, if not impossible to obtain. Knowing that no matter what turn of events our lives may have you do not ever want to be without a certain somebody else is powerful, powerful stuff. Unreal. I am going with God and trust on this one. He knows the right way because I know that I can sometimes be a fool. Also, He led me here, didn't he?

I think in this life I have pissed and moaned for a long time that I wanted the perfect relationship. I wanted the perfect love. I prayed for it. I begged God to let me have it. Then, after years of very little or no response, He gave it to me. He gave it to her too, as she was asking for the same thing I was. Just like that it happened. BAM! God is giggling at us now because we barely have big enough cups on our insides to contain all of this feeling. God is laughing because we are in our 30's and running around like we were 16 again. God is laughing at me because I was sure I could handle any strong positive emotion He gave me, and now I spend some of my time like a deer in headlights. God bless you, God. You started this and it is amazing. Thank you.

May the wells of our hearts never run dry or even low. If they do, may I have my true one there to refill mine from time to time. May she ask me to so the same to hers.

May my life continue down this road of which it has begun. Maybe at some time the road will become chocked full on peril and if or when it does, may her and I both have the strength to grit our teeth and stab the gas pedal to the floor and drive right into the fire without fear or doubt.

May the story of my life with her continue to be a fabulous adventure as it has proven to be so far. Make NO mistake. These ARE the good old days. These are the best times of my times. These are the greatest adventures I have ever known.

We saw an eagle together, her and I. Then, we saw another. I suppose this was God's way of making sure we got the message?

Some Native Americans have beliefs about eagles.
The eagle's elements are water and air.
The eagle teaches us:
Ability to see the highest truth or highest viewpoint
Connection from earth to sky symbolising balance
Spiritual energy
That we have the ability to reach great heights when we find the courage to do so

Let us fly truthfully, awake and to the highest point. Let us never look back. Let us use our courage to fly right into the flame even if it burns our wings a little. Let us be not afraid.

Love is grand.

Tripped?

2010-09-09T12:33:00.007-05:00

"...You will find a fortune, though it will not be the fortune you seek. But first, first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril, mm-hmm. You shall see things...wonderful to tell...oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has...vouchsafed your reward.

Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation." Oh Brother Where Art Thou? Joel & Ethan Coen.

A new day. A sunrise. A smile.

What is it with this thing called life? Ha. It is a peculiar thing, indeed.

I love my life. I wasn't sure how much I loved my life up until the last couple months reminded me. This is fact: Despite my whining (sometimes constantly..lol), I have a great life. I have great people in my life. I live very, very well.

I had forgotten about the good things in this world. I had forgotten about gratitude. I had forgotten. It is good to remember!

So into another new chapter! Yay!

Some things to be said about me. I am a person that bores easily. Keep in mind that I am rarely snagged or captivated for long. I am a person that is uber fussy about who, what, when, why and where is in my life. I am also a sober person, so I am not distracted or confused by chemicals in the decisions I make. I am not a bar scene dater and I will not date people from the bar scene, so there is no false personalities present in the people I date. I also have a huge bullshitto meter and can usually smell lies, deceit and more or less any other suspicious behavior in about the first fifteen seconds of a person's company. I trust my instincts in my relationships more than I ever have since they have proven again and again to be right. So, I keep things real. I live in reality.

I boldly proclaimed for the past many years that there is no way I would ever get married again. Even when I was still married I constantly said how if I became unmarried somehow that I would never do it again. Now, I am not so sure.

I brashly stated how I would never even consider having kids again because "I don't want to be 40 and changing diapers." Now, I wonder if it would really be so bad? I mean, isn't family really all that there is to this life?

I have never believed in "love at first sight." Well, until now. Now I consider it to be the most natural thing ever, but only in this one case.

I know that I have made a rather large emotional investment. But, I am not afraid. Well honestly, for the first time ever I am not afraid. If things don't work out, I am still alive and awake. I have had the most wonderful time. I have remembered what is it like to fall. It is magical and wonderful and much better than I thought it could it be. I have remembered how much fun it is to share with another person when it is returned. I have been reacquainted with the idea of somebody that is truly as into me as I am into them. Ta-friggin-da!

My head can't talk my heart out of it. I am in love. And, it is grand. How friggin' cool is that?

A new day. A new era.

2010-08-17T22:07:00.010-05:00

Here I go again embarking on a journey that some men that aren't me have succeeded.

I am single again. I know it comes as a shock to some of you since my most recent girlfriend had a shelf life of almost 1 1/2 years. (As a side note, she is a really great person. I mean her no ill will and no disrespect. We just weren't made for each other.) But, it is over. So, onward I go into the great (or not so great) unknown. It is time to walk the walk. It is time to talk the talk. It is time to dance the dance. It is the time for leaping buildings in a single bound. I really need to work on my ab's. Damn.

I have many theories about dating. I have had plenty of time to think about it and the pros and cons. I know that the timing of this breakup wasn't ideal. We could have held on through Halloween and Thanksgiving. Her and I looked good together and we took nice pictures. Then, we could have broken it off before Christmas and both saved some nice coin on presents and simplified our holiday travel plans. But, it wasn't meant to be that way. No, I am in dating limbo. I have officially been single for 3 1/2 weeks. So, in the view of single women, perhaps that isn't long enough to be dating again. I don't really disagree with them except for one thing: I am really bored now.

Aside from that, there really is no sense in starting a new relationship until after Thanksgiving at the earliest. That way neither my newest soon to be ex-girlfriend or I will have to spend much for each other's Christmas gifts. If I could make it until the first of the year, then I might as well wait until after Valentine's Day. So much to think about...

Really, though, were do I begin? Since I am a non-drinker I really don't like hanging out in the bar to try to meet somebody. So, what to do? Do I do the online dating thing? I mean, I see the people on the commercials that "aren't actors" and look normal and really happy. Did it seriously work for them? Is the happiness and excitement in their gaze only because they were finally able to hook up and quit paying for the damn service? Ha. Perhaps. I see in most of those commercials it says match on this date and married on this date. Is that really everyone's ultimate goal? To get married? I think most divorced people would agree that the whole "until death do us part" thing really gets you nowhere even with a lot of wishful thinking. It's a scam.

I don't think I am cool enough for the single women of today. Don't get me wrong, I know I am witty and at least average looking. It isn't that. What I don't get are all the unwritten dating "rules" that people seem to abide by but nobody knows who created. Do you want examples? Okay.

If you get a message from a chick and you can see that she's online and she can see that you're online, what do you do knowing that she can tell if you read the message?
Do you:

A. Log out and not read the message.
B. Read the message but under no circumstances respond right away.
C. Read the message and respond right away if you want.

I would pick "C" all day long every day. Why piss around and waste time? I'm not getting any younger, you know? I could drop dead whilst waiting to look "cool."

How about this? You find somebody that you think is interesting, so you message them. Do you:

A. Make some cheesy comment about some physical attribute of theirs or the weather?
B. Ask a question about something in their profile that interested you?
C. Write some random sputtered fragmented sentences that have little or nothing pertaining to the person? The more random the better.

This is a trick question, since they are all wrong answers. I have failed with all of these attempts in the past. With "A" I got a comment of how she was sure I just copy/pasted this from my last 20 girls I messaged. The was WAY off base since I really only messaged her and I was only very cautious about my comments because of the response I got from "B." With "B" girl, she had a very interesting hobby. I asked her about her interesting hobby and I got about a four word annoyed sounding answer with the attitude of "What could you possibly want to know about THAT for?!?" Also, "What am I being interviewed?" Well, if you don't want people to ask about your own hobbies, take them out of your profile. I did have a little success with "C." I got a few more friendly messages out of my "C" answers, but after a couple messages up and back, I got the dreaded "you're weird" and "you're too high strung for me." So...what to do?

So, here I am. Back at square one. But, I am dusted off. I am not nearly as determined as I am persistent. I think a single person in this small community will have a challenging time finding somebody they are really interested in. There probably is the potential to be a little interested in about 2% of the available single people. Then, you throw in a non-drinker, non-smoker for me and that removes about 97% of the remaining people. Then, you add my other ridiculous criteria like "must speak and write in complete sentences" and "must have a job" and "must be trustworthy" and that eliminates about 95% of the people remaining. Wait...there isn't anyone left.

Oh well. A wise man once said "If sheep could only cook."

It was a good day....

2010-08-07T22:44:00.009-05:00

I bought this today:

It is a 1931 Ford 2 door sedan (Tudor).

This thing is really clean and really complete. I also scored a V-8 flatty, 4 speed tranny, some rims, and a juice brake front axle for it.

[basks in your envy]

My daughter and I drove 342 miles round trip to get this. She packed us a lunch and was hilarious in the car. She's so great!

It was a good day.

We need you.

2010-07-30T08:05:00.007-05:00

A friend of mine directed me to this quote yesterday. Sadly, this is the state of our country right now. What a vision Alexander Tyler had.

"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over lousy fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average of the world’s great civilizations before they decline has been 200 years. These nations have progressed in this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependency; from dependency back again to bondage."

I see both major political parties in this country are going to be spending record amounts of money (due to the new legislation that removes limits on donations) in the next couple months to persuade you to vote for their candidates. It should be just another exercise in wasted money.

I would say that both major political parties in this country are so focused on pointing the finger at the other that they have lost sight of why their job is important in the first place. They work for us, remember? The federal government is spending our children's future earnings right now. We need to do something about it. They need to be stopped.

There is NOTHING that is free in this world, but still many Americans think that there is. Being a responsible adult and living in this world is expensive. We need to remember that fact and get used to paying our own way (just like our parents and their parents did) for what we need.

This isn't about political party. It isn't about class, race, creed or status. This is about our future success as a country. We need to protect our own future. It is our job to pick officials to run the government that are sensible and competent.

WAKE UP, AMERICA! Get your eyes on the big picture. Protect your future with candidates that advocate good long term financial decisions, not with short term government funded patches on previous poor decisions. Protect your children's future by voting in government officials that have a deficit reducing budget and stick to it.

We need to get our votes out this fall. We need real change in the way our government does business. We need less government spending and more personal financial responsibility. We need some people with common sense to get voted into office before a professor somewhere is writing about us and how great our way of life was. Yes, that's right: WAS.

This is our country. Let's make sure some greedy politicians don't ruin it for us.

Sort much?

2010-07-21T15:35:00.009-05:00

I sort food. I don't really mean all food. But, I sort some food. I do.

I thought for the longest time it was just part of my OCD behavior that I spent some time sorting. I spoke with a friend of mine about my sorting tactics and he admits that he sorts food, too. Maybe it isn't just me? Or, is he OCD, too? Hmm. Can you tell who is nuts in this world if you only ask people that are also nuts? I wonder...

I sort jellybeans. I takes me all sorts of time to eat jellybeans since I cannot stand the mixed up taste they have if you just dump a fistful into your mouth. I watch many people do it, but I cannot seem to. I watch others devour the jellybeans in a "NOM, NOM, NOM" fashion, but it just isn't me. It's icky. It is especially icky with gourmet jellybeans that have more flavor than the usual generic cheapies. So, I sort them all out by color. I pick out any deformed ones. I pick, group, and organize them all. I group them into twos or threes. Then, I finally eat them. It is a long process.

I suppose sorting jellybeans isn't really that strange. But for me, it doesn't stop there. I sort M&M's by color. I know they are supposed to all taste the same, but I still sort them. I cannot help it. I give myself reasons for doing it as justification. I tell myself that the artificial colors taste different. I tell myself that you are supposed to sort them by color. I tell myself they just look better when you are eating them when they match. Right.

I sort Mentos. I don't know why. I have mostly given up on them since I can't effectively sort them without removing them from their sleeve and after I remove them from their sleeve and sort them, there is no easy way to carry them around.

I sort my Altoids many times by their shape. Then, I close the lid and put them in my pocket and they get all mixed up again. [sighs] I sort.

I don't like mixing foods. It just seems wrong in most cases. Individual foods deserve some solitude. They deserve their own time to shine. They aren't spices or seasoning existing only to compliment other foods even though they may have spices or seasoning in them. They have a larger existence than that. They are their own planet in the universe of the plate. They deserve better then to be ramrodded into your mouth streamlined with some of their flavor competitors. They need their chance in the limelight. Focused. Uninhibited. Pure.

But then again, maybe it depends on the food.

If I am eating ham with mashed potatoes and peas, the peas immediately get mixed in with the potatoes. It is a rule. I am sorry to inform the potatoes, but they just aren't that exciting alone. They need something to give them a little pep. They need a little color. They need excitement! That's where the peas come in. They are good enough to eat alone, but frustrating and time consuming because they are slippery little suckers. Also, peas come in such a tiny little package that unless you have 5-7 in a bite, it seems like some sort of queer food rationing situation. So, they would be way easier to eat if they were stuffed in some sort of starchy, glue-like substance. This is where the potatoes come in. Using the potatoes as glue, you can group peas together to get maximum pea flavor without embarrassing pea spills or food droppings. See?!? They were made for each other. Sort of.

Mashed potatoes aren't always on the receiving end of things for me. They aren't always the glue that holds my plate together. Come to think of it, the ham/peas/potatoes scenario is the only situation that I will routinely ever mix anything into my potatoes. I don't put corn into my potatoes. I don't put green beans into my potatoes. Heck, I don't usually even put gravy on my potatoes unless the rest the meal promises to be dry turkey or chicken. I hate to pollute my potatoes with much of anything other than butter or sour cream. Or peas. Hmm.

Now, that really doesn't make any sense at all.

So, I don't mean to go off on a rant or anything...

2010-07-19T10:00:00.009-05:00

Let us not let our hostility get the best of us. And, when I say us, I mean me.

I think the whole United States would be greatly improved if California just broke off and fell into the ocean. Or, better yet, California could leave the United States and just become their own sovereign nation.

I wouldn't feel this way if it wasn't for all the negatives the whole of the United States has to suffer through to include California in our list of states.

California is broke. They have proven that their ultra liberal lifestyle doesn't cash flow. I am not one to judge them and I couldn't care less about what they do out there, but I DO NOT want my tax money paying for their choices. The Schwarzenegger administration has done a few things to try to get California in the black again financially, but the people don't want it. They don't want to change their lifestyle because their state is broke. They don't want good deficit reduction ideas. They don't want anything other than federal money to pay for their choices. They want to spend my money and yours.

If I were a Californian and my state was broke, this ridiculous shit would drive me nuts:

http://www.twiceright.com/2010/7/6/california-moves-to-ban-plastic-bags/in/us-news/by/alex

Brilliant! Let's make the plastic bags for groceries and prescriptions a source of income for our state's government! That will solve our garbage problem! If the bags are illegal, the problem is solved! Genius! [facepalms] [facepalms again]

How about this:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/07/15/MN3T1EE9KS.DTL

Let me think...oh yeah, I remember now. YOU'RE STATE IS FUCKING BROKE! IT'S A FUCKING ROCK! A ROCK! A FUCKING ROCK! It is a rock. Why don't you spend some money lobbying and suing and pissing away state funds over a rock. Seriously, if you don't like the state rock, leave it on the ground. Leave it alone. Don't lick it. Don't eat it. Don't grind it up and breathe in its dust. Just shut up and leave it alone. It's about like raccoon poop. I don't like it. I just leave it alone. I don't know if it is harmful to me or not, but I don't lick it or eat it. I just leave it lay on the ground. Think about it.

How about this dandy:

http://www.sacbee.com/2010/07/18/2897615/schwarzeneggers-minimum-wage-fight.html

Okay. I see. You, as governor want to try to reduce your overhead. You know all the rest of America has taken a pay cut in the last couple years. Hmm. Maybe state workers could take a pay cut? That would save the state a LOT of money! Wait, nevermind. Those liberal bastards will just fight it in court and piss away more state money trying to defend their salaries. What a joke this is. YOUR STATE IS BROKE! I think California should just lay off their state employees. Seriously. A job for government in this liberal climate is the most secure job in the United States since even though the source of their paychecks can't afford them, they can still keep their job and their pay. Reality check here, Cali state employees: Everyone in America has lost money, taken pay cuts, or lost their job in this recession. Piss on you if you think your job is so important that you are immune. Piss on you all.

And...this is great:

http://www.sacbee.com/2010/07/19/2898758/sacramento-may-not-know-it-but.html#storylink=omni_popular

So..you have bedbugs. You might get a red bite, but in California, you can also get fined and sued. What the fuck?!? I quote:

"Advocates with Legal Aid of Northern California said bedbug addendums have grown in popularity, but they maintain that the pests are an owner's responsibility. "Even with an addendum, you have to prove that it's the tenant's fault," said Martha Valles, a housing paralegal, and the parasite's elusive behavior can make that difficult.

The annoying insect that can leave itchy red welts, cause psychological damage, and trigger a slew of economic and legal complications has the potential to become lethal, some experts warn."

I think the real danger of bedbugs in California is the lawsuits, not the itchy red skin and loss of sleep. Only in California. [shakes head in disgust]

I hate Jimmie Johnson. He's from California. Maybe. Well, if he isn't, he should be. I hate him anyway.

I suppose the only good thing that comes out of California is almonds. They are great. I love almonds. But, in light of the benefits to the rest of the United States, I would give up eating almonds if California would just fuck off. I suppose there are enough guys with salty nuts in their mouths out there, anyway.

U.S. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

2010-06-08T12:58:00.009-05:00

It was only a matter of time before true high school smack talk became the norm in the office of the President. Another milestone in poor taste for the Obama administration.

I quote:

"I talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers — so I know whose ass to kick," the president said in an interview with NBC's "Today" show."

The Presidency of the United States of America has OFFICIALLY become a scene from the movie "Idiocracy" and in its cast is the biggest idiot of all....Barack Obama.

Brilliant!

2010-06-01T15:31:00.003-05:00

'Twould appear that common sense has kicked in? Hmm...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100531/hl_nm/us_health

Wow!?! You mean Canada's health care model DOESN'T work? Really?!?

[Rolls eyes].

Even Jesus has to facepalm after hearing about Obamacare.

This is a good start.

2010-05-25T09:13:00.009-05:00

Here's the scoop for today:

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/93694?fp=1

Too bad for the Texas Rangers. But seriously, is ANY player of ANY sport worth $252 million dollars? I have two words for you. FUCK NO.

The ridiculous prices we have to pay for gear ($85 for a jersey? IT'S A SHIRT MADE OUT OF GYM TEACHER'S SHORTS!), to watch the games at the stadium, the $9 hot dogs and the $9 sodas are ALL because of these players ridiculous salaries.

I don't care what sport they play. I don't care what position they play. There simply is no player that is worth the sort of money these people get paid.

In reality, a few of these player's excess salaries could pay off our state's budget deficit.

Do you know how many people could be fed with $1 million dollars let alone $50 million, or maybe even $100 million?

How many people's mortgages could be PAID OFF with just a small portion of that money? Imagine that economic stimulus. If we didn't have to pay for our homes, we would all spend more money on other things.

Piss on you, professional athletes. You will never get a penny from me if I can help it. I think you are incredibly talented, but I am not willing to help pay your preposterous income. Your ability to play your sport is incredible, but it is maybe only a 1 out of 100,000 type of thing. On your best day it is a 1 out of 200,000 thing. It has never been and never will be a 1 out of 252 million talent.

As a side note in regards to the professional athletes: Maybe they should consider finishing school before becoming a professional star. It seems for the most part that they could be helped a lot by some money management classes since most of them are broke a few years after retirement anyway. Just food for thought.

I suppose now there will be a government bailout for the Texas Rangers? Seriously, it would be great if they didn't get bought. It would be great it they just locked up the doors and shut the operation down. It would be terrible for the people they employ, but it might become a wake up call for the rest of the professional sports world.

All good things.

2010-05-21T09:37:00.018-05:00

These are things that I have seen in the last couple weeks that are finally here and that are good.

1. June bugs. On the Harley, June bugs are not very good. On the Harley, June bugs are at the very least messy and usually quite painful. But, buzzing against the screen of my open window, they are good.

2. Dandelions. These are more or less the bane of my lawn growing existence. I chop them. I cut them. I mow them. I spray them. I spray them again. I curse their name. I hate them. Yet, they are good.

3. The smell of freshly cut grass. Not marijuana. Grass as in lawn. Well, grass as in somebody else's freshly cut lawn since I surely don't want to ever cut mine again. Also, mine doesn't smell as good freshly cut as somebody else's does since mine is so full of creeping charlie and dandelions (see above).

4. Sunshine. I love it. I am a pale, pale man so I get sunburned very easily, but I still love it. Also, I think since I am 36 now, I don't really need to worry about my "youthful" appearing skin, so I can stand a little color. Since I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) I realize that every fall and winter I am going to be a little blue and much less energetic. But, each new year I am still surprised at how good the sun feels on my pale, dead-looking skin.

5. Wind in my face. This comes in many forms. Up until this summer, it came in a form of my Mustang convertible. But alas, slow economy has forced that car on down the road. Now though, I have the golf cart and my Harley that I can use to get some wind in my face. There is little like the smell of the spring unbridled by a car's interior.

6. Flowers. I know, I know it sounds a little fishy. I love fresh growing flowers. I love watching their progress as the work their way out of the dirt and sprout into a new summer bloom. It is a little gay to be a guy and like flowers, but still a good thing.
7. Corn on the cob. I love corn on the cob, but until it becomes grilling season, I never buy it. I know much of it comes from different parts of the country, but it feels fresher when cooked and eaten in the warm weather. I really prefer the sweet corn my brother grows over any other, but I bought some last week at Cub and made it on the grill. It wasn't very sweet corn, but it was still good.

8. Exhaust fumes. I know they maybe aren't the best for the environment or my body, but I like them nonetheless. I don't care for catalytic-converter high-emission standard exhaust fumes. I like good ol' dead-dinosaur-remains-falling-out-the-tailpipe exhaust fumes. Do you know the kind? They smell somewhat like cigarette smoker Listerine breath, but just a little. They smell dirty but yet clean. They smell almost medicinal. They bring a smile to my face and water to my eyes. That's right, water. Not tears.

I love summer. It is about time.

Oil's Well that Ends Well?

2010-05-18T16:33:00.013-05:00

Since I haven't had any wild conspiracy theories lately, I thought I would come up with one.

We all know that the media is controlled by liberals. There really isn't any valid argument against it. It has been proven time and time again. Also, in using my not-very-scientific method of polling in my community I am unable to find one person that thinks the Obama administration is doing a good job. The liberal media is reporting that Mr. Obama still maintains a 45% approval rating. Sounds like hogwash to me. Either that, or most of the people I know have jobs and don't like giving all of their money to the government.

The oil leaking in the gulf has been dubbed "Obama's Katrina." Look at how the Obama administration has "handled" the oil leak in the Gulf so far. They have done NOTHING (not that they really should have the power to do anything, anyway). In regards to Hurricane Katrina, the Bush administration warned people to get out before the storm hit and sent in supplies and help as quickly as possible. President Bush was STILL crucified in the media despite making a valiant effort to help the situation. The Obama administration has done nothing in regards to the oil leak other then mock the relaxed guidelines that "his predecessors" put into place. But, supposedly (as reported by the media) the Gulf oil leak hasn't tarnished his reputation. It is laughable.

Here's the conspiring question:

Is the oil spill in the Gulf an exercise in willing governmental energy control?

I think some of the stated facts in the media in regards to the leaking oil well don't seem to add up very well. I may be an ass by writing all of this since I have had a hard time following the so-called "coverage" of the oil spill event since it seems to not only be ridiculous, but it seems very overly sensationalized. So, perhaps I am not as educated as I should be about the topic.

Al Gore and the Obama administration want to pass all sorts of pollution control (READ:cap and trade) laws to "protect" us from evil pollution in our world. Well, they really are just trying to put a pricetag on air that they can collect on. Since the attempted passage of these new rules were met with fierce public objections (because seriously, we all know it is a bunch of bullshit), what better way to "enlighten" us to their way of thinking then by allowing a pollution disaster to happen? What better way to prove that any of our current means of pollution reduction/containment are ineffective then to watch this event unfold and point fingers at some companies not only blaming them for the event, but also "proving" their inability to contain it? Gee whiz, I wonder of the federal government could do a better job of handling an oil well leaking on this scale? (rolls eyes)

They very least the Obama administration will get out of this is control of offshore drilling and strict "regulations" This isn't something he is taking. We are thinking about giving to to him. Since the parties involved with this disaster cannot seem to handle it themselves (did you see all the media coverage?!?), we just might give the government control of this situation, too. Oh yes, by the way, don't forget about the new "jobs" the Obama administration will be creating by making his very, very large government into an even BIGGER one when he pushes for legislation to monitor "stricter guidelines" for offshore drilling. Sounds like the good ol' federal government might go on another hiring binge?

The Obama administration has increased our federal deficit by $1.45 TRILLION dollars inside of his first year. This administration has spent billions and billions of dollars bailing out private business with your tax dollars. In doing these bailouts, they have LOST billions and billions of dollars of YOUR money. This administration has rammed health care down your throats and proven that we can ALL pay the government to have health care and experience higher priced care that they have excluded themselves from participating in.

Do you really want these fuckers having control of all of your energy, too? Seriously?

For those directly affected by the oil leaking in the Gulf, you have my deepest sympathy. It is a tragedy.

P.S. As a side note in regards to government health care: If I were President Obama and had ran up the largest deficit ever seen in this country, what better way to get some money back than by taxing everybody for 4+ years without giving them any sort of service for it? Sounds a little fishy to me. Also, as an employer (unless things have changed in the wording of the new law...nobody really knows yet) I can refuse to pay for insurance for my employees. I will get fined, and they don't get coverage. But, the kicker is, the fine is WAY less then paying for the insurance. So, if I was to pay a fine for not paying for insurance, how does this help my employees? If my employees aren't getting insurance, who keeps the money? Does our government keep my fine money to pay bills?

Some interesting reading:

http://www.autoblog.com/2009/12/10/report-fed-predicts-it-will-lose-30b-on-auto-industry-bailout/

http://blog.heritage.org/2009/03/24/bush-deficit-vs-obama-deficit-in-pictures/

Stressed?

2010-05-05T22:22:00.001-05:00

I spoke to one of my friends a few weeks ago and I hadn't talked to him for a while. He, not unlike me, has felt the crunch of the slow economy. He has replaced his luxurious vehicles with able but cheaper ones, not unlike me. Him and I both live very similar lives.

In his quest for financial survival despite poor economic times, he sold his sweet truck and purchased a car that he can still haul stuff in. I was teasing him about it the other night because compared to his truck, this car is really pretty lame. In my teasing, I told him he better make sure he has new wiper blades, because the women will be throwing their clothes off at him when they see him coming (because he has such a hot ride).

He scoffed at me. He told me he really isn't that interested in sex. He told me he hasn't had sex in three months. He said he sure as hell doesn't want to risk a pregnancy over sex. He said he really doesn't even think about sex at all. He said he doesn't miss it.

He lives with his girlfriend of about 8 years.

It would seem that excess stress is the killer of the sex drive.

No wonder the divorce rate is so high.

Wednesday Morning Coming Down

2010-05-05T13:12:00.023-05:00

This is an email conversation that started this morning between a close friend of mine and myself. He lives in Indiana. His needs advice on a pet for his kid.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Well, except mine since I just don't care.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: TR
To: Brad Miller

Sent: Wed, May 5, 2010 11:05:55 AM

Subject: Gerbiling

So, do any of you know anything about gerbils? Other than "shoving them up your ass is great for ." I am not Richard Gere. Chastity and I are having a hard time figuring out what to get Gertrude for her birthday in June, and I'm thinking a pair of gerbils (preferably of the same sex, as I'm not ready to start breeding the damn things) would be good. Gertrude doesn't have any pets yet, while Lawanda does - 2 fish named Dora and Diego. Diego's all kind of fucked up - I don't think he could pull off the fish equivalent of all the amazing shit that little Diego dude can pull off, like rescuing whales and shit. Then again, I think Diego is full of shit, anyway. I will be the first to admit that I don't believe a lot of what I see on TV. I mean, where does he get all the money to support his animal adventures, and doesn't he have to go to school ever? Where can I get a rescue pack that turns into anything I need? I call shenanigans. How do you say "shenanigans" in Spanish? Anyway, I digress...

It seems that maybe small pets for Gertrude would be fun. I've already determined that gerbils would be better than a hamster because they are not solitary animals, and they are also not nocturnal, which would really be boring as hell for little people who are not nocturnal. Well, then again Gertrude tends to be kind of nocturnal at times, but we don't exactly want to promote such behavior...

Sorry, I digressed again. Anyway, any thoughts? Does anybody know if the Humane Society has gerbils? If we do this, and we get two of them, I am sure they'll probably be named Dora and Diego.

From: Brad Miller
To: TR

Sent: Wed, May 5, 2010 12:42:46 PM

Subject: Re: Gerbiling

Dude...they stink. They are a pain in the ass. Your kids will let them loose in the house. You will search for them (and seriously, one second of searching makes them not worth having). Fuck them. [Do you think we have time?]

Get goldfish. Seriously. I have had the same one in an old fashioned bowl for over 3 years now and I got it at the fair from a carny (SWEET!).

[Breaks into verse "Lord, I was born a ramblin' maaaaannnnn...."]

Relaxing to watch. Cheap.

Fish are the answer. I would get a cat before I got a gerbil or hamster just because I have seen the hell Greg went through with his. I hate cats. Fuck cats. [Do you think we have time?]

You should get a dog. Or, maybe a lion. Seriously, NOBODY fucks with a lion. You could get some deer to feed the lion and twist that into a nice Christmas theme and relish taking them to your neighbor's yard to shit.

Good luck!

P.S. If you got a large python, you could feed your lion to it if didn't work out as a good pet.

P.S.S. If you got a monkey, you could have a Indy based "B.J. and the Bear" reality television series.

From: TR
To: Brad Miller

Sent: Wed, May 5, 2010 11:49:54 AM

Subject: Re: Gerbiling

Cool, thanks for the honest advice. Maybe fucking them is the answer (assuming we have time)...

We do have the two goldfish in one aquarium already, and maybe a second one would be alright. My big gripe is that the aquarium goes well beyond our birthday budget - we try to keep it simple for Christmas and birthdays: no more than 3 gifts under $100 total. We prefer to spend all our holiday money on fireworks for Halloween. The kids also love getting mommy to show her boobs for beads on Fat Tuesday. It's a new family tradition, although I hope the cops and child protective services showing up was just a three-time deal...

From: Brad Miller
To: TR

Sent: Wed, May 5, 2010 12:57:04 PM

Subject: Re: Gerbiling

All you need is a bowl, dude. We have no electronics of any kind. We have no filtering devices. Zip. Zero. Nada. Just a goddamn bowl with a fucking Spongebob pineapple house in it. That's it. My goddamn fish doesn't need to be spoiled by lavish things.

[Breaks into verse of "Take This Job and Shove It" for no reason.]

Greg seriously had those little animals and the kids let them loose. He ended up getting rid of them (BANG!) because of the smell and the trouble they caused.

You should get your kids plants.

If you got your kids plants, you could get a monkey to trim the plants for you.

From: TR
To: Brad Miller

Sent: Wed, May 5, 2010 12:08:20 PM

Subject: Re: Gerbiling

You certainly have a lot of good ideas. Getting plants so I can get a monkey to trim them is genius (guinness?). I can tell you graduated from HL-W, home of the finest public education system in Howard Lake, Minnesota.

A bowl?!?!? What kind of life is that? Will a fish be able to truly know who they are in such an environment? I mean, granted it doesn't quite have the excitement level of being in the wild and being constantly attacked by sharks, but it seems a bit more meaningful. They can go over in one corner and look at the blue rocks, or go over the the other corner and look at the blue rocks, or maybe go up to the top and back down...

lol!

*goes off to research orangutans like in Smokey and the Bandit or Mad Max or whatever the fuck it was - Clint Eastwood kicks ass...

From: Brad Miller
To: TR

Re: Gerbiling

TR, the thing is, some of my great ideas are just that...really fucking great ideas.

Things, but not to be confused with Swamp Things.

2010-04-29T22:13:00.011-05:00

1. If you are a parent tending to your child's animals, keep in mind one thing about said animals: You cannot paint fish to match the fish that you starved to death. You can paint cats. You can paint dogs. Fish? Nope. You will likely have to use the "He was pretty old" excuse. Or, just let the kids cry about the fish being dead. They might get married someday so they should warm up to the idea of disappointment.

2. I haven't been too busy to write anything out lately. I just haven't been writing anything at all. I don't know if it is because work has been busier? Maybe it is because I have switched to diet pop [again]? Is it the fat from all the ice cream I have been eating clogging up my brain? I don't know. Whatever it is, I am feeling less intelligent by the minute and a general sense of boredom with the world around me.

3. I have watched four "Monsterquest" episodes about sasquatch, bigfoot, ape-man, mountain-man, and monkey-man. I don't know if such a thing exists or not. I saw a picture of a 500lb lake sturgeon that was supposed to be over 100 years old, so I guess anything is possible, right? All I know for sure is the whooping calls in the pitch black night scare the living crap out of me. If I would have witnessed that, I would have shit myself and then perhaps dropped dead. Aside from that, I think bigfoot is having an identity crisis since he/she has so many names. Maybe it's name is Steve. Or Sally. Maybe that's why he/she is so doggone camera shy? Hmm.

4. I am getting a hat addiction. Not with baseball caps, but like porkpies. I have a nice fedora and a nice porkpie right now, but I can't help but browse for hats online all the time. I know it is pointless for me to buy more hats because since I don't go out much. I rarely wear the ones that I have. I feel guilty for not wearing them more since they aren't what I would call cheap. For now, I have been pacifying myself with shopping for hats online, putting the ones I want in my cart, and then distracting myself and logging out [not to be confused with Kenny Loggins] before I order them. So far, so good.

5. I really feel a great sense of accomplishment when I get time to work on my own cars and I finish them. Since I work on cars for a living, I get plenty of time to work on cars and plenty of car repair jobs that I start and finish that create a sense of accomplishment within me. But, I am sorry to say, I like working on my stuff a lot more than I like working on yours. And, although your money is nice and all, I still prefer an environment that allows my projects to get done in a reasonable time.

6. I never feel like I get enough sleep. Well, I think I get too much sleep sometimes and then I get lethargic in the middle of the day because of it. It is a fine line. Many days I think I don't get enough sleep to function at wide-open-throttle for 11 hours so at about 3:30 PM, I am fighting to keep my eyes open. Too little sleep? Too much sleep? I don't know. Either way, I am either distracted by the resounding waves of sunlight caressing me through my window at 3:30 PM, or I have already fallen asleep and missed them completely. Is it possible to be ADHD and a narcolepic?

7. I must have moved up or down on the chains of evolution. I bought bread today for $1.50 a loaf out of the back of one of my customer's vans. She is a great lady and a super customer that has hit me up in the past to try some of this bread she gets from a bakery that she goes to. She came in today with a bunch of bread and I bought some. Syd and I had some of it for supper and it was really delicious. But, if I tell people that I buy my bread out of the back of a van, they might suspect that I am carrying the bread I just bought into my house that has wheels on it. The premise of buying bread out of a van that doesn't belong to a bakery sounds very white trashy. But, the bread is very good and I am thankful to have gotten a chance to try some. Also, if I can coax my customer into stopping by the next time she goes and gets bread, I will buy it again.

8. I really think I need a late 40's/early 50's Indian Chief. I want a crude, unrestored running original that I can ride around on. Is that too much to ask? Who was I in a former life that I am obsessed with all the transportation of the days gone by? This Indian motorcycle craving has been with me for years and I can't seem to shake it. But, on the same token, I still think that there is no engine that has the sound of a flathead Ford V-8 and I still know all of the lines of the cars of the 40's and 50's, so I guess why would I be any different about the bikes?

I originally started this posting as "20 things." Lucky for you I am getting tired and bored with typing all this crap out.

Thursday is just another day that isn't Monday, but that I still have a lot of work to do.

Peace out!

Ran-dumb-ness.

2010-04-01T22:03:00.009-05:00

I have had a few things on my mind today.

1. I almost always wear boxer/briefs. In fact, I usually only wear black boxer/briefs. I don't think I own any boxer/briefs that aren't black. One thing is for sure: The extra money I spent on Adidas brand underwear in completely worth it. I have bought Merona and some other cheaper Target brand, but they both pale in comparison to Adidas. Now, I am so very happy with the Adidas brand that I am scared to try Hanes, Fruit-of-the-Loom or really any other brand. I know Charlie Sheen and Michael Jordan like Hanes, but will I? I don't know if I want to gamble with my hard earned money and find out. Sounds risky. It is hard to fix what isn't broke.

2. I really like Portishead. I know many people label the band as being trip-hop. I don't really know what that is supposed to mean. I suppose I am a poser fan of theirs since I have never done any acid and the label "trip-hop" implies an acid trip/rave party. I am also not a very good fan because I really only like a few songs. One thing is for sure, though. The songs that they perform that I like I do really intensely like. Sometimes. Unless I am in the mood for something else.

3. I think I am getting older because I forget a lot of things these days. I think part of it is that I get so bored with the same old day-to-day things. I don't mean disrespect, but I think much of the time I am barely paying attention to what is being said to me. I can't remember when I stopped listening in a more focused intent manner, but I think in the last couple years I have gotten progressively worse. Can I blame this on too many things on my mind at once? Is it just a different way to organize the wealth of daily data that I process? Do I just not really care what some people are saying most of the time? Is it father time telling me that I have a limit? Are there many things said to me really that require my intense focus to understand? I don't know.

4. I think for the most part a monkey could do my job, but I couldn't do a monkey's job. I couldn't be a monkey's uncle, either. In Russia, monkeys are astronauts. "The first ever monkey astronaut was Albert, a rhesus monkey, who on June 11, 1948 rode to over 63 km (39 miles) on a V2 rocket. Albert died of suffocation during the flight." (sourced from Wikipedia). If in 1948 monkey astronauts were trained and dying in Russia, I would think that by now the monkeys there are probably dying doing advanced physics. Maybe the monkeys there are dying reinventing the wheel. I guess my point is that monkeys flying in spaceships is probably harder than installing tires on cars most days. As a side note, if I were a monkey, I would not move to Russia.

5. I might spend too much time during my day being OCD and ADHD. Of course I was never formally diagnosed with either of these conditions, but sometimes I have a hard time staying focused and finishing thi

6. I spend about an hour of my work day today creating more car club plaques for the member less car club that I have. There was no meeting of any kind. There is no core group of founders. There isn't a base group of friends with similar interests. I created a plaque design and I like it, so I am going with that. I thought about the idea of a car club and I guess other then the benefit of having somebody to call when my junky cars break down, there really is no point to it. I don't know about you, but to make forty phone calls and try to plan an event with other people sounds suspiciously like work. I don't really think I am very interested in it. I don't really want to make a bunch more friends but my unwillingness doesn't come from an antisocial attitude. I simply don't think that I have enough time in my week to inject more social interaction. I like people as a general rule, but I also require some time away from people to recharge after my week of work. It was nice today welding up some more plaques. It was fun. But, after I was feeling really guilty because I could have been working on more important projects. So, good feeling for a bit followed by guilt. Sounds like eating a gallon of ice cream in a week. Good, but bad.

7. Somebody should make extensions for beards. I think I have been growing mine for almost a year and it still isn't very long. I did more or less shave it down pretty short last fall, but that was still months ago. I had a customer in the shop the other day that had a great looking longer beard. I was jealous. Also, I see my age is showing in that my beard is flecked with white. I am only a spry 36 years old. I should not be graying yet, should I?

8. I am really becoming more and more in love with the idea of my finished tattoo. The problem lies in that I am not very sure I want to sit for another 10 hours to get it done. Since I don't think I need to be purified by pain or anything, the time sitting getting tattooed seems to be a waste. Really, it is just a pain in the butt. For me, it is the sacrifice of the one day every other week I get to do what I want. I wish the sitting and getting tattooed was more pleasurable. Don't get me wrong, it isn't miserable. It just isn't what I would choose to do on my day off. As far as the pain goes, I was married for eleven years. I am used to excruciating pain. The pain is really non issue. But, time just keeps ticking away. When I go back in to get my tattoo finished, I will have one less day in my life to do something I really want to do.

Thursdays can be not only confusing, but discouraging.

12 minutes.

2010-03-31T22:58:00.009-05:00

The driver's seat is usually full of douche with high end import cars. This is proven to me almost daily.

I had a guy (I'll call him Neil) call Monday morning to get his summer tires put on his car at my shop. Neil said he had his winter tires on his car now and was concerned that the warmer weather forecast for this week may cause then to wear excessively. I told Neil that I was too busy to get him right in and do it today (Monday) and would prefer to swap his tires Tuesday instead because I didn't want him to be waiting around. He insisted that I do it Monday. He said he would be there at 1PM. He didn't ask if I had that time available, he told me that was when he was coming. I told him that I would do the best that I could to take care of him, and reminded him that I was really busy and would rather do it Tuesday. The day wore on and 1 pm came around and he wasn't there. I decided to help another customer (I'll call him Bob) and switch a couple tires for him since Bob was there waiting and Neil was not there yet. I got started on working for Bob and at about 1:10 the Neil showed up. He announced his arrival and said his car was ready. I told him I would be right with him after I finished up which Bob's tires. I mounted a tire for Bob and the guy from the local newspaper showed up and needed me to load up some boxes of flyer inserts (for my advertising) for him. I finished loading up my flyer inserts and headed back into the shop to finish up with Bob. Then, the phone rang and I had to run up front and quote a tire for a different customer. I finished my quote and then headed back to finish up Bob's tires. I got Bob's tires mounted and one of them balanced. I had one left to balance and I would be done with work on Bob's truck. Neil walks back into the shop and asks how long it will be. I told him that I will be starting on his car in just a couple minutes. Neil said he has to get back to work. I told him that my Expedition is outside and the keys are in it. If it would work better for him, he could borrow it to get back to work and return it after work. I was sure I would be done swapping his tires out by then. Neil asks again how long it will be until his car is done. I told him as soon as I get started, it will probably take me about 30-45 minutes. I apologized for the delay. Neil said "Didn't I tell you I was coming at 1?!?" He was fuming. I apologized again and told Neil that I am alone in my shop, so interruptions slow me down. I reminded Neil again that he could take my truck if he wanted and that I was going as fast as I can. He said "This is completely unacceptable. This is bullshit! When I said 1pm, I meant I wanted my car worked on at 1pm!" I apologized again, but he stomped off pissed.

Neil was driving a Lexus. No drought of douche in that driver's seat.

When Neil left my shop it was 1:22pm. Neil was at my shop for exactly 12 minutes. It would seem that it takes exactly 12 minutes of delay to piss off a Lexus owner so badly that they are liable to swear and stomp out pissed off. I guess I will never understand how important the events of a Lexus driver's day are. I am sure they must be WAY more important than the events of the nice man (Bob) that was driving the Dodge. I am truly sorry that the red carpet was at the cleaners. Although patience is a virtue, being a prick is just plain old second nature to a Lexus driver.

What's the difference between a high-end import driver and a porcupine? With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside.

A quick video.

2010-03-29T22:53:00.004-05:00

An interesting video. It is a little dated, but worth watching nonetheless.

I got this sent to me today.

And now...to a roadway near you....

2010-03-28T18:50:00.004-05:00

Here are a couple of quick pics of the Thunderbird I picked up today. I wrote about it before, so I thought I would share. I did wash it after these pics. Today was the first day it has seen daylight since 1997.

[Basks in your envy.]

Enjoy.

Complications?

2010-03-27T23:03:00.009-05:00

Complications. My life could be simpler and more painless.

Yesterday at work I was jacking my Harley with the new motorcycle jack I bought and got distracted [probably by something shiny]. The jack handle I was using slipped out of my hand and since it is spring loaded, it swung up and smoked me in the eye. How clumsy am I? How stupid is this?

Nice shiner! So now, for the next couple of days, I will look like Timmy that fell off of his bike on the way to school. Sweet.

At work today, I remembered my damaged eye. But, I didn't remember it enough I guess. So, I smashed the crap out of my finger so the body parts would match.

Nice. Lovely.

Having a bruise or two on the outside is a nice metaphor to my life. Damaged, but not broken? Maybe broken? I don't know.

I would think at my age, things would get easier to deal with. I seem to have this problem, you see. I don't know what "normal" people do in a relationship. I seem to be difficult to deal with and frustrated much of the time. I try to search deeply in my feelings and establish true motive for my actions. Do I hold a grudge? Why do I react this way to that situation? Why do I react that way to this situation? Am I fair? Am I respectful? I am ridiculous? What do I get out of acting a certain way? What do I hope to accomplish with this relationship? Remember, I am a student of failed relationships. Hopefully eventually I will become a success story rather then a "who-is-he-dating-now?" But, I struggle. I wrestle with myself. I argue with my mind. I am not naive anymore, am I? Do I truly have unrealistic expectations for a person in my life? You see, the only thing that is constant in my dating life is me. Am I really the problem? It can't always be somebody else's fault, can it? I think not.

I also tend to turn this intense scrutiny into the life of my female counterpart. I think she does the same to me. We do this. We nitpick. We bicker. We frown. We argue. We scowl. It is what we do from time to time.

I asked her tonight amidst one of these "disagreements" what normal people do. I asked if her and I were normal people, would we get mad at each other, then head up town and have a few cocktails and forget about it all? Is that what normal people do? Or, do normal people skim past much of the depth in some areas of their relationships because they don't want to know? Or, do they know that what they find there could become an argument? Or, do they really not care enough to find out either way? Do they avoid asking some questions because the "talk" could get ugly?

I remember a time in my life when I was very unhealthy. But, I was somewhat happy, wasn't I? I spent much of my life with a smile on my face. I plodded along not paying attention to anything. I ignored the "life" around me. I lived in the tiny world of my mind and there really wasn't anything getting to me there. I worked when I wanted to, but not always when I should. I didn't care. I smoked, drank, and raced cars. I was going to live forever. I was successful in every endeavor I had desire to be. Or, was I? But, it all came to an end. It was here one day and gone the next. I held what I thought was satisfaction in my hand, and then it was gone. Nobody took it from me. I lost it. I gave it away. I took it from me.

The elusive "it." The "it" I am referring to is the American dream life with the house, spouse, 2.5 kids and the good job. Although I thought I had "it," I realize that I never did. I had a bag of fool's gold happiness. I had a nugget of pyrite maturity. I didn't know a thing about life. I didn't know a thing about living. I wasn't a part of "it." I wasn't party to "it." The first time I entertained the idea that I might not know everything that there is to know, I lost my confidence in the "it" I had. Later, I came to know that I don't know much of anything. Certainly I don't know about "it."

So, what do people that don't drink or do drugs do? What do normal people do? Do they sit down and discuss things? Or, do they know when a subject could end badly and skirt it? Do they just not care enough to ask in the first place? Do they beat their heads against the wall until they bleed and THEN head out to the bar for some liquid forgetfulness? Do they decide that whatever their significant other says or does that they still love them? I guess that pretty much simplifies things. Wait. Does it?

It's still a mystery. One thing is for sure. I am glad to be busy at work. Also, I need to watch what I am doing. I don't heal as fast as I did when I was 20. I don't really heal very fast in any regard.

Which was live today?

2010-03-17T21:57:00.002-05:00

Was it this link?

Fox News Exclusive: President Obama

Or was it this link?

"Bret..Bret..let me finish (with my long evasive nonsense answer)..." [President Obama]

I am glad he gets 40,000 emails a day. Ha!

Adventures in BBQing...

2010-03-16T22:08:00.005-05:00

I have had a Cabela's Visa for 4-5 years now. If you aren't familiar with a Cabela's card, it works just like any other Visa, but as you spend money on it, you accumulate "points" that can be redeemed for in store items. So, being the lover of fishing that I am, I used this credit card for everything for years and years because no matter what I bought, I got free stuff at Cabela's. I thought it was a nice perk and arrangement because I received enough points to get quite a bit of "free" stuff at Cabela's. Also, it had a 9.99% interest rate that wasn't the cheapest in the world, but was consistent and I thought it was fair enough.

I felt pretty good about using it for everything until I looked closely at the statement one month. I carried a balance on it for about 3 months once and during this time, I saw some extra charges. Normally, I paid it off completely every month and I never saw these charges. I did see some hidden charges so I called the card company. I found out that these fees were charged to all "Cabela's Club" members. So, they charge you to get free stuff. You do get free stuff at a faster rate than they charge you, but I didn't like the idea of paying to get free stuff. So, about a year and a half ago, I quit using the card completely because of all of their "extra" charges. I decided to only buy tackle and bait from my local hardware store. He needs the business anyway.

I was going to cancel my account, but found out that I had about $184 work of points on it and I found out that if I cancelled the account, I lost the points. Lame. So, I figured I would wait until I needed something at Cabela's, burn up my points, and then cancel the card.

During this time, I had two unauthorized transactions on my credit card. They were from a travel company that I had dues with, but I had cancelled my account months before. So, I called the travel company that charged me to have them remove the charges, but the contact number I had for them had been disconnected. So, I called Cabela's Visa, told them the situation, and they said they would send out the paperwork to rid my account of these charges. Fine.

I filled out a couple pages of paperwork and sent it back. As far as I knew, the charges were gone from my card. I got my statement the next month and the same amount is charged to me again from the same travel company. Cabela's did mark the other charge from the prior month as "pending." So, I called the contact number for the travel company that was charging me again (it was a different number than the prior month) to try to straighten the mess out, but the new number was also disconnected or not in service. So, I called Cabela's again and basically had to start this whole process over again. When on the phone with Cabela's Visa, I told the nice lady that was helping me to call the contact number for the travel company that was provided on the statement. She said the number answered as disconnected for her too, but she said she would contact her supervisor and try to get a legitimate number for the travel company. I really wasn't satisfied with doing all the paperwork again and I was frustrated that anyone can continue to charge me for things I do not want and had cancelled despite my protest.

I had a different idea. I called back to Cabela's Visa, reported the fraudulent charges, hung up the phone, then called back a few minutes later and reported my card stolen. This way, I thought, the travel company cannot charge me anymore. The nice customer service lady told me she was sorry that my card was missing and she would get me a new card out right away. It only took a couple days for the next round of fraud paperwork to show up in the mail. I filled it out and sent it back to them. Within the next couple days, a new card showed up.

In about a week I got an email from the travel company to inform me that the credit card number they have for me on file is cancelled. They left me a contact number to call, but I didn't bother. I emailed them back, told them about their billing mistake, and I forwarded one of the cancellation confirmation emails they had sent me months prior. Done again, right?

The next month my statement came from Cabela's with about a $40 credit on it. It seems that the travel company instead of just voiding the charges, actually refunded me some money. I called the people at the Cabela's Visa to tell them to cut me a check for the money on my account because I am going to use up my points and cancel. With a little bit of protest, the nice lady on the phone assured me she would take care of it.

A month passed. Then another month passed. Then another. Then another. Each month, I call the Cabela's people and ask them for a check for the credit on my account. Each month they assure me that they will get it right out to me. But, as the time passed, I still didn't get any check. I didn't get anything from them at all except a statement that showed a credit. Finally, months later, I was getting really upset about the money not being sent out to me, so I called and complained again and found out that they would not send the check out to me because I had not activated my new card they had sent me months prior when I reported mine stolen. I explained that I just want to burn up my points and close the account and not have another active card around. I was informed that I need to activate the new card before they will refund me money. Fine.

About a week after activating my "new" card, I got a check in the mail from Cabela's Visa for the amount that I had as a credit. At last. Why did it take so long for somebody to just tell me this information?

Starting in September last year, I noticed my interest rate started to climb. August was still 9.99%, but September was 14.99%. Then, October was 16.99%. Then November was 24.99%. Finally, December was 36.99%. I still had no balance on the account and was still not using it at all. In light of these interest rate hikes, I did a credit report on myself because I was worried something had happened to my credit. My credit rating was still as high as it was before. So, it wasn't my credit driving up my interest rate. It was the new laws passed by our government to "save us" from credit card debt. Thank God I didn't have a big balance. [Whew!]

After the rate hike, I knew I would never use this account again since my other Visa did not go up. My problem was that Cabela's really didn't have anything I want to buy. I had tried to use the points up at Christmas, but I couldn't find anything then. I don't know if I am getting old or I am spoiled, but I really don't need anything. I couldn't find anything there to buy as a gift for somebody else. Also, I was so frustrated with all the hassle in regards to the card and I was still a little miffed about all of the "extra" charges on my account from before, so I wanted to get my points burned up and close the account.

Monday this week, I got a letter in the mail from card services in regards to my Cabela's card account. They have adjusted my interest rate down to a "user-friendly" 28.88% but they have decided that I need an annual fee. Yeah. That will not work for me at all.

So, my daughter and I went to Cabela's tonight. I thought I needed a smoker (I want to learn to make really good ribs) and that I could get one easily for my $184 of points. I was wrong. They had some cheaper smokers there for about $129, but they aren't insulated and didn't have thermometers. Also, they were electric which seems like a just wrong way to smoke meat. If you wanted to get what looked like a nicer smoker, plan on spending between $400-1000. I don't need to make ribs that badly, so I passed. Syd and I decided to buy some wood chips and smoke meat in the grill we already have. We bought a bunch of different wood chips. I bought some cast iron campfire skillets. I bought a tenderizing hammer. I bought some "campfire" oven mitts. I bought a small cast iron tray to put my wood chips in. Syd and I got a lot of stuff.

I didn't have my card along since I shredded it post activation-to-receive-my-check and pre-huge-rate-increase. But, I had bought things on my account at Cabela's before without my card on my person, so I didn't think it would be a problem. I went to checkout and the nice lady there said she couldn't check me out without my card. So, I went to the "Customer Care" desk and the nice lady there gave me a temporary card and number. Then, back to the checkout I was. The nice lady at the checkout rang everything up, took points off my account, bagged my things, and sent me on my way. As I was walking toward the door she stopped me. "Sir!" she said, "Make sure you shred that temporary card number when your new card arrives in the mail."

I didn't even ask why I would be getting a new card because I don't think it really matters anyway. So, I can finally close my account. It only took about 20 minutes of waiting in line, a half of an hour filling out paperwork (twice), about two hours on the phone with the card company customer service, two or three physical plastic credit cards to shred, and about 2 years to accomplish this.

Whew! I am glad I had all of those "free" points.

Conceptually speaking...

2010-03-15T17:18:00.014-05:00

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness....But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. " The Declaration of Independence - July 4, 1776.

I love the concept of "higher taxes for the super rich" in this country. I think the idea that higher taxation of the "super rich" will really pay for any government program ridiculous. It is an error to make a broad sweeping statement like "will be funded by increased taxes for the super rich" and expect it to be a true statement.

One thing that you should understand regardless of your political "orientation." Super rich people don't pay much along the lines of taxes. They certainly have the resources and finances to exploit any and every loophole available. I know some super rich people that pay less tax most years than I do. They do this because they can buy this or that and write it off. They do it through having enough money to property swap and take deductions or sometimes "losses" on that property. They do it by creating a new company to dump money into that will for some odd reason just happen to lose a lot of money. They are very bright and can afford to throw some cash around to save themselves some cash. Don't kid yourself. No matter what government does to try to tax them, they will find a legal way to beat it. It is one of the ways they became rich in the first place. They decided that if they give their money away (to the government or whoever) they have less money. So, they found ways to quit giving it away. Ta da! Now they have more money for themselves. Excess taxation of the super rich simply won't work.

So, where will the money to pay for government run health care come from? You! Who else do you think? Granted, you may not miss the money you aren't getting for a raise or the overtime work that you didn't receive (since your boss is now CLOSELY watching his payroll amount). You might not immediately notice the extra money you paid for goods or services since all vendors that have goods or services will be forced to raise their rates to pay health tax on their employees and still stay in business. No matter what way you slice it, you will pay.

Without a doubt we all lose with government health care. There is no way in which we win. There is no way as citizens we can afford it. If we did want to give 8-10% more of our money for health care, why would we pay the government to do it? If our government wants to make health care affordable and available for everyone, they should focus on eliminating liability lawsuits in this country. Lawsuits are the one thing that constantly drive up our health care costs. In the day of our parents, if you needed medical help you researched a hospital the best you could and trusted that they would be able to serve your needs. For the most part, they did. If a doctor at that hospital was negligent, he or she lost their license.

Most health professionals that I know are forced to carry insurance at such a high rate of coverage (since in this country, there is barely a limit to a monetary settlement) that their health insurance premiums are higher than my mortgage. So, I hope they can earn a decent amount of money or they work all of those shit hours in a very high stress job to pay a large percentage of their income to insurance companies.

Regardless of whether or not a health care professional is negligent, a death or other traumatic event with one of their patients carries an emotional burden for them. If they operate on you and you die, they carry that guilt and sadness forever. Although a death or botched operation is a horrible thing, there is no amount of money that brings a child or parent back to life. In the event of medical tragedy, everybody loses. Most people in the medical profession work that difficult job because they are in love with their fellow humans and want to make a positive difference in the lives of their patients. Keep that in mind. I don't think you could ever find anybody in the health care industry that goes into their day thinking "Geez, I hope I can hurt/kill somebody today with my negligence."

Turning control of our health care futures over to the government is a mistake. If you are a proponent of this, I respect your view, but if I agree with you we will both be wrong. Government taxation of all citizens and forced participation in any elective program violates our Constitution. Our government should not have the power to force us to buy anything let alone something we don't necessarily want. Also, our government should not ever have the power to fine us if we refuse to buy what they are selling. Keep in mind that the "representatives" that are deciding this for us have exempted themselves and their union political contribution buddies from it. Really doesn't sell it much, does it?

Either way, I don't think we are best off banking our health care on people that can't run the post office. These people really can't run anything successfully. Well, I guess they CAN run up a monstrous deficit and ruin capitalism in this country. YES THEY CAN! YES THEY CAN! YES THEY CAN!

This really is the new American dream.

P.S. I will be glad in a couple years when I don't have to see Obama's picture on the news about twenty times a day.

Weak. Week.

2010-03-12T21:31:00.006-06:00

There truly is never a dull moment.

This week:

I listened to a heart wrenching story about a friend's friends' daughter that was killed on the road by a car. She was 6. Her mother was sleeping on the couch and not watching her (she was tired) and her siblings let her wander out onto the road. What a tragedy. What a joke her mother is. WATCH YOUR GODDAMN KIDS YOU STUPID SLEEPY BASTARDS! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!? YOU SHOULD BE CHARGED WITH A CRIME!

I listened to a terrible story of loss for a friend that is in dire need of money and is likely to lose his house. This truly sucks. While he has been working and taking care of his kid, his wife has been out fucking everything in this and the surrounding zip codes. She hasn't lived in "their" house for almost 3 years and hasn't spent a dime to help service the debt from it. She hasn't gotten divorced from him. She has been given cash from her parents and has blown it on drinking, drugs and her jobless party-girl lifestyle. He is screwed. But, who fault is it now? Is it his for not finishing the legality of their marriage? Or is it hers? Love is blind, deaf, and fucking dumb because he is still in love with her despite it all. She doesn't want to hang out with him anymore because it isn't as convenient as it was in the past. Now, he can't qualify for cheap financing or refinancing programs because he is still married to her and the bank uses both of their incomes. So, now he can lose his house and go fuck himself. IF YOU ARE OFF FUCKING AROUND ON YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND AND YOU AREN'T LIVING TOGETHER FOR MORE THAN A FEW MONTHS, GET A DIVORCE AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. DON'T FUCK YOU LIFE OVER FOR SOME LOWLIFE THAT WILL TRADE YOUR LIFELONG COMPANIONSHIP FOR SOME CHEAP SEX.

I was contacted by two ex-girlfriends. I worked on one of their cars. The other one texted me and I had no idea who it even was until she signed her name on the text. Her number hasn't been in my phone for a year. Maybe I am a total prick, but when I broke up with them, I really didn't plan on having much along the lines of future conversations with them. I wish them no ill will by any means and the breakups weren't bitter or hostile, but I have really no desire to talk to them again. I really have no reason to. I appreciate the business from the one that needed car repairs, but that is all it ever will be. The other one I wish well, but she can feel free to never contact me again. I have a steady girlfriend now that would not appreciate contact from women from my past any more than I would appreciate the same thing from her ex-boyfriends or ex-husband. There really is no reason for it. WHEN YOU BREAKUP WITH SOMEBODY YOU ARE DATING AND YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS TOGETHER, THERE REALLY IS ZERO REASON TO CONTACT THEM YEARS LATER TO TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS OR "SEE HOW THINGS ARE." LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. THERE IS A REASON(S) THAT YOU DON'T DATE THAT PERSON ANYMORE. CHRIST.

I watched more money get paid to people that don't deserve it and fabricated a story of lies. Watched another person claim to be owned something by me for "damages." What a joke our legal system is. What a bunch of rotten liars some people are. Again, I hope karma is the real bitch everyone says it is. When liars, cheats, and thieves are rewarded financially for being said beings, our legal systems fail. The saddest part of it all is these people can't manage money in any way. They could be given very, very large sums on money and still have it all pissed away in a very short time with nothing to show for it. But, they can threaten. They can obtain legal representation. They can do many, many devious things. They can use they system the was intended to protect the innocent and the honest to line their own pockets. They can feed on human compassion and human pity for their own financial gain. They can also make many lawyers rich in the process. God sees your lies. DON'T FUCK WITH GOD OR HE MAY FUCK WITH YOU. BE HONEST IN YOUR LIFE! LAIRS, CHEATS AND CROOKS ARE THE LOWEST FORM OF LIFE ON THIS PLANET AND JESUS WILL BE PICKING ON YOU COME JUDGEMENT DAY. THERE IS NO AMOUNT ON MONEY THAT MAKES A LIAR ANY LESS OF A LIAR. THERE IS NO AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT CAN BUY INTEGRITY. MAY A DARK CLOUD FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE ALL OF THEIR DAYS.

I bought a movie on Thursday night at Target. It is called "Extract." It is a Mike Judge (creator of Beavis and Butthead, Idiocracy, etc.) movie so I immediately thought it would be funny and I was looking forward to seeing it. I don't mind ruining it for you since I think I got hosed paying $20 for this crappy movie. The main character was a small business owner and the story in the movie was more or less supposed to be funny and exaggerate the perils of small business ownership. Sadly, as I watched it, I became pretty angry. Some of the situations were just stupid, but some of it was very close to my reality. One thing that wasn't anything to do with me was that the main character wanted to have an affair with a girl he met since he constantly complained about a lack of sex at home. So, in his drug induced haze he decided to bait his wife with a gigolo pool boy. His wife fell for it hook, line, and sinker and had sex with the guy. I finished the movie, but I was really disgusted with it. I think I might even throw it away. Where is our society at morally when we are supposed to think that shit is funny? What would our grandparents have said about this? Pathetic.

I truly don't mean to whine. It has been a long week. I know I am not dead and this isn't hell, but it isn't always fun. It seems I spend much of my time waiting for things in this world to improve. They may be, but not at a very fast pace. But, as each day passes, I am one day closer to things not being a fucking mess in my world, right?

I hope so.

Full service?

2010-03-10T22:53:00.006-06:00

The last couple weeks I have had quite a few conversations with a few different local people about their friends or family that have decided to quit drinking. I have given these conversations a lot of thought and I guess I really haven't come to any solid conclusion as to why I have been involved in them. The people that have spoke to me had to go out of their way to stop and talk to me. They had to make a special trip to see me.

Do these good folks talk to me about his stuff since I have been there and done that for a couple years now? I mean, I am no stranger to A.A. I was court ordered to go to A.A. for almost a year after D.W.I. number two. I went to outpatient treatment in 1997. I know all about the twelve step program and the merits it has to offer. But, am I really the right person to talk to about any of this stuff? I mean, when I went through treatment and jail, I wasn't serious about any of it. In fact, I still drank now and then in the following years up until about three years ago when I decided to go professional with the drinking. It was about two years ago when I decided I had my last drink. Now, I don't have any real participation in A.A. or any other organized support system. I am not so sure that I am really a very solid example for anyone else to follow on their road to sobriety.

Maybe it is just that these people know that what they tell me will stay in confidence? Could be.

Is it because when I first sobered up I was painfully honest with all the people around me. Maybe that is why they are being super honest with me?

Could it be that they are just comfortable talking to me about these things since I have first hand experience?

Is it because they know I won't judge them regardless of the specifics of their situation? I have always thought that I was a terrible person to judge others since my life seems to usually be cluttered with my short sighted mistakes and chocked full of my bullshit pride.

Honestly, I don't think I am a very good listener so I am pretty sure that isn't a viable reason to talk to me. Who knows?

If they want input on what will have to change in their life if they plan to stay sober, that is easy. You have to change just the one thing. Everything. That's all. I don't think most people find that answer very appealing, but I am just being honest. It is the truth. Sorry.

I suppose I should try to be on my best behavior. It's easy to be well behaved the way my life is now. I spend most of my time at home and all of my time in love. I am not nearly as exciting as I once was.

Regardless of their intention, I am taking these concerned, honest conversations that I have had as a compliment. I hope these people are serious about giving up the booze. I hope I can help. Maybe this is the chance I have been waiting for to pay forward some of the kindness and decency that has been shown me. Whether it is or isn't, I will try to be there for these people if they want me.

I hope for good things for them and their friends and families. A sober life after a life cloudy with alcohol is like a rebirth. It is an exciting time.

To better annoy you...

2010-03-10T22:49:00.003-06:00

Since I revel in being pretty annoying, I have placed my playlist.com player from my old school Myspace page on my blog home page. Remember when you could have a playlist.com player on your Myspace instead of Myspace's lame ass player? I do.

You're welcome. [Basks in your annoyed looks.]

Cheerio!

The dowry of generations past...(junk)...

2010-03-03T08:42:00.012-06:00

It is such a boring time of the year right now. It seems all of the games, events, and activities that I had planned for the winter have been enacted again and again and I am very bored of them. I didn't go fishing at all this winter and now the houses are off of the lake. It is still too cold lately to do much outside, but almost too warm to stay inside all day. It is the beginning of the transition time. The sun has so much energy now that every day the snow is melting even if it is only around twenty degrees. I think spring is getting ready to, well, spring. Now, we get to wait until it does.

I don't know about you, but I hate waiting.

My current girlfriend convinced me to go to an antique store last weekend on Saturday. I had always rolled my eyes at antiques and antique shopping with a zero level of interest. I don't know if I am old enough to go antique shopping, am I? I always had envisioned the man the shops for antiques as the henpecked husband that is more or less forced to go shopping with his overbearing wife all the time because he knows it is easier in the short term just to go than it is to stay home and deal with her wrath later. You know the type. He is hunched over, skinny, he has thick glasses, and speaks quietly in her presence. He constantly says things like "Yes, dear." He's a weenie. He's the type of guy that spends his weekends in the antique store, not me, right?

So, there I was looking at antiques (sighs). It almost pains me to admit I enjoyed it (How old am I?). I was pleasantly surprised at how many interesting things I saw from the generations gone by. I have always been a fan of old cars and one of the reasons always has been the innovative little ideas that the car companies used. I saw this in the antique world, too. It was pretty cool. It certainly kept my attention for quite a while. We shopped for only a few minutes on Saturday until the store closed.

We went to browse antiques on Sunday, too. We scored a nice nightstand for me, a dress for her, a magazine rack, and some other little things. It was fun and fairly inexpensive. So, too bad for her because I enjoyed shopping for antiques. I would like to do it again this weekend. Poor Katey may have to deal with this as my new "thing." Sorry, dear. (That is HUGELY different from "Yes, dear.")

What else is there to do when it is too nice to stay inside but too cold to go out? Might as well take a little money, go to an antique store, buy some junk, and drag it back home. Nothing like tossing newer items from around the house that you have bought with in the last couple years and replace them with used up junk for 50 years ago.

It is a beautiful thing. I love material regression.

P.S. I bought this aluminum cooler on ebay today. Well, I STOLE it for $13.25. It is a "Cronstrum's Pik Nik Cooler." I never knew these were manufactured in Minneapolis. [Brief pause so I can bask in your envy]. I passed on a couple other coolers at antique shops this weekend for $40-70. Yay me!

P.S.S. I am now more or less obsessed with the idea of finding a hat from the 40's or 50's. Not a new hat styled that way, but the genuine antique article. I hope if I find one and I wear it that I don't end up looking like Jason Mraz or something. That would be what I like to call "pretty gay."

Fury?

2010-02-26T15:44:00.004-06:00

They say hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned. I disagree. I don't think any simple person can hold a candle to hell.

In this day and age I am reminded constantly that there is no limit on what dark souled people will do. When I say dark people I am referring to people that are generally just evil. You know the type, don't you? Their lives are shrouded in darkness and they bring a raining cloud to almost every person they meet. Maybe they can put up a fake front for a while and fool a few people, but soon their dark light shines right through and they are revealed to be what they really are. They are dark. They are evil. They wish bad things on others. They try to drag others down to their level. They create stories to slander others. They are strangers to the truth if it doesn't serve them. And, in the end they are alone.

Why are they this way? Maybe they are so unhappy with their own lives that they become obsessed with causing trouble in others. Maybe they are pathological liars. Maybe they want what others have but don't want to work to get it. Maybe they scheme, plan, and plot to alter the lives of those around them for their own personal gain. Maybe it is easier for them to label others in a depreciatory or unsavory way to better themselves financially rather than work to earn or achieve. I guess it matters very little what they do. We all know the type.

I don't understand much of the time how these people do it. I guess I was blessed (cursed?) with a conscience. If I spent my time lying and fabricating damaging stories about people around me, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I don't think I would be okay battening from other people's misery. There is just no way. It seems too, that as I age I become less hateful. I become less begrudging with every passing day. I mean seriously, who has the energy to hate anyone anymore? Who has the energy to wish bad things on people at all? Maybe it is my daughter that makes me be more patient and forgiving of those around me? Maybe it is the realization that it is a lot of work to hate people? Am I just lazy? Maybe it is because I think sometimes I have done things that people could have hated me for, but they let it go and I am passing it on? I can't say.

Many people say karma can be a real bitch. Do I have some bad things coming? I don't know. When I spent a couple years drunk abusing my body and destroying my reputation I don't think I did much good to my own soul. I don't think I helped myself out too much. But, on the same token, I didn't bury myself in the destruction of others in a way that I deserve any just amount of bad karma. I think the implication that I could have been an instrument of damage or destruction of others is giving me way more credit than I deserve (READ: I just fix cars). I did try to make amends with people that I had remembered that I had wronged with great success. So, what gives?

One of these days the dark people from my past will no longer have the ability to attempt to cast a dark shadow over me. One of these days perhaps karma will bite them in their dark ass. One of these days maybe their own lives will hold enough meaning for them to concentrate on working on them and leave mine alone. One of these days perhaps they will decide that they could get on with their own life and let me get on with mine.

Until then I can always take comfort in knowing that I don't hate them. Despite it all, I still wish them no ill will. I know that things can be beyond my control and I accept that. I can continue to know that no matter what threats are made, what lies are told, and whatever actions they can muster that I did nothing to deserve this from them. I know that although their wicked intentions concern me from time to time, that they can never put out the fire in me. I know that I will not treat them in the same way they have treated me. I know there is no such thing as revenge because their actions are beneath me. Their actions are desperate. Their actions have little meaning.

That is freedom.

I am truly blessed with the people that are in my life now. Thank God for you all.

Reagan is WISE...

2010-02-24T16:12:00.000-06:00

My lovely vacation...

2010-02-19T21:51:00.007-06:00

I took a vacation with my girlfriend this past week. Her and I went to beautiful Scottsdale Arizona for a few days to warm up. It was a terrific trip and her and I had a really nice time. The weather was beautiful. The people were friendly. It was very inexpensive. It was the best adult vacation I have ever had. In light of all of these positive things, I have a couple observations.

1. Just because my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for more than nine months does NOT mean that any time we go away together for more than an afternoon that we are getting married. I certainly don't mean any disrespect to her in saying this because I do think she is the greatest and I care for her very deeply. For now though, I think we will continue to date until she decides to dump me (which is usually right after I write a blog). It isn't that we don't respect the institution of marriage, but really that both of us think the other is "the bomb" and know the other of us isn't going anywhere so we aren't in a mad dash to sign a piece of paper that won't change how we feel. Who knows? Maybe someday (if we can go more than a few weeks without breaking up) maybe we will get married. Then again, maybe not. We just don't see any need to rush into things, okay? So, if Kate and I both wake up one of these mornings, smash ourselves in the head with a hammer a few dozen times, take 2 or 3 hand fulls of "Stupid" pills and decide that we need to get engaged or married, you will be the first to know. Until then, you need not bother asking. We haven't done it.

2. It is REALLY cheap to travel to the Phoenix area. I mean REALLY cheap. For my girl and I to go for four days, it cost about $310 per person. That includes round trip airfare and the hotel. When we checked into to hotel, they told us that they had overbooked, so they would give us a villa to stay in if that was alright. It was certainly "alright." It allowed us to grocery shop and prepare our own food, so our dining bill was chopped in half or less. It was sweet. The rental car was about another $370 for the four days. I thought this was a little high, but keeping in mind I bought the extra insurance so we had zero liability, it was pretty reasonable. Her and I put over 800 miles on our rental car. So, I think less than $.50 per mile was cheap to drive around in an almost new car. When we bought groceries, we shopped at "Fry's." When we were checking out, our grocery bill was about $46. With our Fry's discount card (the checkout lady hooked us up) we saved $16. So, to clarify, we spent about $30 on about half a cart of groceries. Back in Minnesota, we would have paid at least $65-75 dollars for the same food. All in all it was a very economical trip. Putting this in perspective, her and I spent less than $1000 between us on the whole trip. Before we went we tried to book a weekend at a northern Minnesota ski resort and it was $250 per person per day to stay there and have lift tickets. So, what would you pick? Sunny and 75 degrees for 4 days? Or, would you pick drive for 5 hours to have 10 degrees for 2 days?

3. If I ever complain about the economy here, remind me of how bad things are in Phoenix. Seriously. I saw signs for ghost towns as an attraction, but I saw the real ghost town and that was northern Scottsdale. Don't get me wrong, it isn't trashy, dirty, or run down. It was very nice. But, we drove for what seemed to be miles and miles through abandoned new housing developments. These developments had new homes built, but were all locked up and the streets were not paved yet. How long have they been sitting empty? Who knows? I know we saw scrub brush and tumbleweeds laying in the street, so my guess would be a couple years at least. As we drove around, I saw countless businesses closed. I remember at least 2 new strip malls with finished buildings, but no tenants and dirt parking lots. It was quiet. Please don't misunderstand me, though. I did think Scottsdale was charming, clean, and nice. I am not trying to run the area down by saying it is like a ghost town. I am just trying to illustrate how it seems much of the local economy there is moving at a snail's pace. It is sad because it is such a beautiful place.

4. The landscape in Arizona is very diverse. I had heard this before but until I saw it with my own eyes, I didn't really grasp the scale of it all. In the Phoenix area, most of the growth is Wile E. Coyote cactus. There are a few other small things that grow like prickly pears and a bush that looks like ironwood, but that is about it. If you drive north about 30 miles, just like flipping a switch, the landscape almost completely changes. The Wile E's are completely gone and have been replaced by a different cactus species that is thinner and looks almost frail. Here there are tumbleweeds and some other brushy growth. If you continue north, down one hill and up the next and then all of the sudden, it looks like a prairie plateau. Not much on this level other than a yellowish grass. There were a couple small trees, but that was about it. As you continue north, all of the sudden it is snow covered and trees that look like cedar or some sort of pine or spruce. The terrain is mountain rocks. Just like that. I am doing a poor job of describing it, but it is amazing that the landscaped completely changes inside a couple hour drive. It is beautiful. It's pretty cool.

5. Some day I want to drive the mother road. I have been enchanted by Route 66 for years and got to drive a stretch of it last winter near Barstow California. This year I got to drive a little more of it in Arizona. It was really cool. We traveled though Williams and Flagstaff areas. It was really cool. I had an old style malt at Twister's in Williams. I had a cheeseburger at the Downtown Diner in Flagstaff. Both places had great service, great food, and a intimate, timeless dining experience. I loved it. It is a laid back atmosphere that I think much of our rush-rush culture has forgotten about. I sat at Twister's and ate my malt without distractions from the modern world. It was a good thing. I hope to get to visit both places again in a few years when I plan to drive all of Route 66 in one of my old cars. I can hardly wait.

6. I like my job, but I don't think I will ever enjoy work as much as I like vacation. I missed sleeping in my own bed and I missed my daughter and my girlfriend's dog, but I didn't miss going to work. I didn't miss the cold weather of Minnesota although it has been fairly mild since we returned. I suppose if I was on vacation all the time that I might grow weary of that and start to lose appreciation for it. I think I could risk it. I think I could make it quite a while without working and still be content. I need to scare up a rich uncle or a distant relative that is the founder of Microsoft. Or, maybe some kin that owns a bunch of oil wells? Anyway, I could try not working for a while and see if it is something I can stand. I am willing to take that chance for science. Well, I am willing to take that chance for any reason I can think of. It doesn't even have to be a good reason.

So, if you are thinking of traveling somewhere please don't consider Phoenix. There is no sense in you going down there and waking up the locals to the treasure they have. It is nice, cheap and clean right now. No sense in messing it up, right?

Good enough?

2010-02-10T22:40:00.004-06:00

One day at a time is what they say. I say it, too. I guess, I know all about this first hand. It was me in treatment a few years back. I know all about one day at a time. I know all about deciding what I am not going to do today. I don't know about tomorrow yet, but I know about today. I can live my life without plans. I can live my life without absolutes in my future.

Still, I wonder. What if today was your last "one day at a time?" Have you done enough? Have you said enough? Have you said enough of the right thing? Have you shared what was on your mind with your loved ones? Was this short, violent experience satisfactory enough for you? Are you able to live without seeing the rest of the world? Have you taken steps during your daily life to insure your satisfaction if it was all to end? Is any of it ever enough? Is our desire to do everything and have everything just another manifestation of our consumerism?

Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy

Claire (MySpace Australia) | MySpace Video

If we are to never plan for a life more than one day in advance, why do we not pack light? Is this the proper way to look at our world? Is it all about finding a balance between a future plan and a current living life?

Which of these truly enriched your life? Was it the destination? Or, was it the road you took to get there?

I hope for a long road. It doesn't always have to be free from debris, but a few smooth patches would be nice.

I need a new career...

2010-02-07T21:28:00.008-06:00

Another year has passed! Thankfully, I didn't watch one second of the Super Bowl.

Something I think is a problem in the country is the glorification of professional athletes. Don't get me wrong, many of them have extraordinary talent in their game. A few of them have talent at more than one game. But, are they larger than life? Nope. Do they deserve to be almost millionaires overnight? I don't think so.

In these dark economic times, do these players really earn the money they get paid? Seriously. Here is some quick info. It is a little dated, but still good. It is from Wikianswers. This one is for the National Football League.

The minimum salary structure for 2007 is as follows:

•Rookies and first-year players $285,000
•Second-year players $360,000
•Third-year $435,000
•Fourth-year $510,000
•Fifth- through seventh-year $595,000
•Eighth- through tenth-year $720,000
•Eleventh-year and longer $820,000

So, using this scale, if you can be active professionally for 4 years, you will have earned $1,590,000. To put this is scale, a normal person would make $53,000 a year for 30 years to equal this. Divide this amount into 25 years, and a normal person could make $63,600 average. This amount would be $79,500 per year average for a 20 year normal person career. This is MINIMUM pay.

What is the minimum to play baseball professionally? The minimum salary for the 2008 season is $390,000. This is from chacha.com. How much is this in a four year career? It is $1,560,000. This number into 30 years is $52,000. Into 25 years is $62,400. Divide this number into a 20 year career for a normal person and it is $78,000. Again, this is for a four year career.

What about the National Basketball Association? According to chacha.com, it is $427,163 as a rookie. This is minimum. How much to do it for four years? That would be $1,708,652. In an ordinary person's life, that is 30 years at $56,955. It is 25 years at $63,346. It divides into 20 years at $85,433 per year.

So, what dollar amount do you put on being entertained? Is there really ANYONE worth this kind of money to "work" at playing a game for nine months a year? I'm sorry. Jerry Maguire should change his focus. I think he should be thinking of communities and families when he is trying to "show me the money." I think if the sanctioning groups lowered the rate of pay to something reasonable, these players would probably throw a fit, but they would still play. If they decided not to, the purity of the sport would be increased by players that love the game and love to play instead of getting a real job. It seems since the money has gotten so long to these players, for the most part they are more worried about senseless grandstanding and getting on television (name recognition for increased pay) then they are about playing the game and winning. I know there are exceptions to this, but they are few and far between.

Maybe if their pay got cut and they want to whine about it, they could go out a get a real job. Maybe they could punch a clock and work on an assembly line for a few years to learn to respect the value of a dollar. Maybe they could run a loader or a road grader. Maybe they could be a server that works for minimum wage and tips. Maybe they could drive a gravel truck without air conditioning for a few summers. Maybe they could milk cows, bale hay, or raise soybeans or corn. Maybe they could work a complaint department in a retail store. Who knows? Maybe they could be useful to the rest of society with their vocation. Why aren't there jerseys for the guy that picks up my garbage? Why isn't there high pay for the people that work next door to me and bust their asses building cabinets all day? There are so many people in this country that work really hard, but don't get their face on a trading card.

Another thing that pisses me off is the fact that the people that buy the tickets to watch the professional games pay have to pay $100 per seat. These good people pay $100 for a matching jersey. These people work a half of a week to be able to afford to go to a game. The working people in this country are the ones that pay the way for all of these professional players' lives. We get to work, and they get a Hummer. We get to work, and they get gold teeth.

As a state, instead of building stadiums, we could be taking care of our own. We could be reinvesting in our own communities instead of paying the way for more glorified athletes with more huge salaries to play games to entertain us. Our country could put this money to MUCH better use.

I think I am in for a career change. I want to play professional basketball, football, and baseball all in the same year. Then, I could retire. Sick, right?

The Un-me.

2010-02-05T21:35:00.008-06:00

An exercise in sarcasm.

I will go along with whatever you say because I am sure you are right. I am sure you have my best interest in mind. I am sure whatever you are thinking is what's best for me.

I trust you. I have many reasons not to trust you, but I do anyway. I mean, I think I like you and I trust me. So, if I trust me, I guess I trust you, too.

I won't question anything you say. I think you have a good handle on the world. I am sure anything you say you have researched before you said it. I don't spend much time researching things. I think that if you think something is right, I do too.

I think you should have almost every dollar I earn. I hope to pay this money in as a tax, but if I can't, maybe I can pay it as a penalty or something else along those lines.

I love working six days a week and I would love to donate what I have to help strangers before I bother helping myself or my family.

I think it is fair for me to work six days and week and be on call seven days a week when you aren't working at all. I know you aren't looking for a job, but maybe something you like will come along. Until then, I will help by working extra.

I love working with the general public. The ones I don't like are the few people that aren't very challenging because they pay their bills on time and aren't constantly trying to cheapen up their repairs.

I would love to pay more property tax. The $30,000.00 a year I pay now on my work building and the $3500.00 I pay for my house may seem like a lot, but I just hope it is enough to help in this dark economic time.

I prefer it if you can diagnose your own problem with your car and attempt to fix it yourself. I don't mind trying to correct your mistakes. It is a good learnig process for you and me.

I enjoy diagnosing the problems with your car so you can fix them yourself. My shop operates solely on good will and a dream so I have no need for pesky money burdening me.

I enjoy it when you talk down to me and swear at me. I know I am beneath you and I don't deserve your respect. I think when you insult me and use profanity that I know my place in this world and I know how serious my offense is. Please, talk me down to make yourself feel better. You have earned it.

It's okay if you steal from me. I think since you are taking merchandise from me, that you must need it more than I do. I am sorry I have been so blind to your needs. Take as much as you want.

I am glad you expect me to drop whatever I am doing to help you with your needs. I know there are other people in line in front of you, but I also know that your needs are much more important than theirs. Thanks for pointing this out to me.

I appreciate you coming in and interupting my lunch. Let's not kid ourselves, I really wasn't enjoying it that much anyway. Besides, what is better for me? Serving your needs or giving my body nourishment?

I am sorry the car washing machine is so stupid that it doesn't understand how you want to operate it. I know your method of attempted operation is much more throughly engineered and leaves no room for error. I am sorry the machine can't fathom your brilliance.

Please throw all of your garbage in the parking lot of my business. I thank you for the help in keeping myself fit by picking up all of your garbage. I know you have much more important things to do than blow your time walking all the way to the garbage can.

It is exciting for me to put up a new mailbox at least 3 times a year. It adds excitement to getting the mail if I never know if the box will still be there. Or, maybe it will be knocked down. Or maybe crushed. It makes my pulse race. Keep up the good work.

I love it when you call me with your problems. I know that food for me and my family is much less important than the dental work for your dog, the two kids you have had since you were supposed to have paid me, and your family's Christmas. I am sorry that I am so short sighted about your needs.

I would rather you trash talk me rather than just talk to me to my face. I respect your means of communication since if one person can get a point across, I think fifteen people can drive that point home.

You make great decisions when you are drinking. You look so cool to me when you are drunk. You are very glamorous and you are the life of the party. Keep up the good work.

I trust our government. They got elected by a popular vote, so what they say is good with me. They know what is best for me.

I would love to have somebody tell me what to think. It is a burden to try to think for myself and each time I do, I find that it can interfere with my obedience to others. I would like to try to avoid thinking for myself in the future.

My boring Thursday night.

2010-02-04T21:10:00.007-06:00

I got home form work today and I was relieved. I have been having a somewhat stressful, somewhat tiring, and certainly long seeming week. I was ready to "unplug" for a little while. It has felt like a week of continuous action.

Last night I thought I would test my cooking prowess and make a big supper for Sydney and I to eat after church. We go to church almost every Wednesday since neither of us like crowds of people and I like to sleep in on Sunday morning. Also, church on Wednesday night lasts about 45 minutes and church on Sunday last about 65 minutes, so it is a streamlined pastoral effort. It is a good thing.

Since I have worked or just been busy each night this week between church and cooking last night, grocery shopping/haircut on Tuesday night and snow plowing Monday night, I was ready to sit in my chair and relax a little. It was Syd's night to cook and we had frozen pizza (she went all out). I had a plate of food, and RC Cola, a blanket, and I was firming pressed into my chair. I was ready. It was a go.

Syd and I had a disagreement over what we should do. She wanted to play games, but I didn't. I wanted to watch a movie, and she didn't. Since I am bigger than her and it is my television, we decided to watch a movie. Good choice.

I was thinking of what movie I would like to see and I asked her to pick one out, too. She couldn't decide. I was digging around and came across "Forrest Gump." I looked at the back. It is "PG-13." I remember there are some sex/drug use scenes, but if it is "PG-13" how bad can it be? I haven't seen the whole thing for a while, so I thought it would be a good choice. I have started watching it about 3 times in the past month or so, but I've fallen asleep within the first few minutes of it playing.

It was a good idea to watch this movie. What an emotional roller coaster it is. My normally stone faced 12 year old was a little misty eyed a couple times as was I. She was celebrating the little victories that our hero had, and so was I. She really seemed to like it. I asked her if she like the movie and she thought it was "okay." I suppose she would hate to be too descriptive about her enjoyment, as usual.

While I watched this movie tonight, I was reminded of how precious our lives are. I was reminded of how the most simple actions by one person can change the world for another person. I was reminded of how although sometimes it is harsh, unsatisfying, cruel, and painful, love still beats all. I was reminded about the importance of the people you hold dear in your lives. I was reminded of the beauty of simply living.

As of late my almost total lack of tolerance for others has been on my mind steadily. I used to not be this way, but as time passes, I seem to be becoming less and less tolerant. There are great lessons to be learned in acceptance of your own situation and patience with other people in "Forrest Gump." Maybe I can learn them.

Maybe I can learn from Forrest's example. Maybe I can get on with my life. Perhaps I need to spend more time on the relationships in my life and less time worrying about the outside world. There are many, many lessons in this film.

One thing is for sure, though. This is my box of chocolates, and I still don't know what I am going to get. Maybe with an extension of patience and a dash or two of love, I can get something really special. Until then, I think I will just try to keeping running.

Think for yourself. Please. Think.

2010-02-03T10:57:00.019-06:00

This is just an addition to my January 27 blog, but I think it warrants a new post since it is getting so much media coverage.

Here is one article:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/08599195837900;_ylt=Aobq4MjIbP.vMAeDnAqO4yhv24cA;_ylu=X3oDMTM1NXFzbjJrBGFzc2V0A3RpbWUvMjAxMDAyMDMvMDg1OTkxOTU4Mzc5MDAEY2NvZGUDbW9zdHBvcHVsYXIEY3BvcwMzBHBvcwMzBHNlYwN5bl90b3Bfc3RvcmllcwRzbGsDd2hpY2hhdXRvbWFr

Please see also:

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/RunawayToyotas/toyota-owners-advised-stop-driving-cars-seek/story?id=9736660

And also:

http://www.startribune.com/local/83448022.html

And:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584672,00.html

and I quote:

"U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood told The Associated Press Tuesday that federal officials had to alert Toyota to the seriousness of the safety issues that eventually led to the recalls.

"They should have taken it seriously from the very beginning when we first started discussing it with them," he said. "Maybe they were a little safety deaf."

LaHood also said the U.S. government was considering civil penalties for Toyota for having dragged its feet on safety concerns."

Did Toyota drag their feet? Or, did the Obama administration not really seem to care about any of this until GM and Dodge continued to lose market share? Did this ONLY become an important issue since the loss of the Democrat held U.S. Senate seat now held by Scott Brown? Is this only a big media issue because of the elections this fall? Is this an attempt at a forced "success" by the Obama administration in light of public distrust and disapproval of their failed politics? Is this another attempt at finger-pointing and blame-placing that the Obama administration is known for?

We will indeed see how much Americans are a slave to the popular media. These cars are NO less safe then they were yesterday. They are NO less safe than they were last week. They are NO less safe than they were last year. These affected cars manufactured by Toyota are no less likely today to have any issues than they EVER were. This is an exercise in FEAR by the Obama administration. This is an obvious direct shot at Toyota to benefit General Motors and attempt to restore public opinion of the Obama administration's unpopular auto industry bailouts.

THINK PEOPLE!

I am all for safe cars, don't get me wrong. I think if there are situations involving these cars, they should be taken care of. The timing of these big media hit stories is just all too convenient.

Sorry LaHood, I am not buying it. Sorry Obama administration, I think you were all well aware of these problems last year and the year before, but they only came to light after another quarter of declining sales for "Government Motors" [GM].

I didn't spend much time researching past factual data. I would be VERY curious to learn how many problems would have to be evident with a General Motors car or a Dodge car before there would be this big ripple in the media. This attack on Toyota is unprecedented. It would not happen to a "U.S." manufacturer.

Updated 12:33PM on 2/3/2010. In all fairness, Ray LaHood printed an apology for his "misspoken" statement to Toyota owners a few hours after he said it. Again we see it is WAY easier in this country to apologize than it is to just say or do the right thing to begin with. The Obama administration has been chocked full of apologies lately it would seem [Toyota, Vegas, Scott Brown, Harry Reid]. Do you suppose Americans are getting tired of all the bullshit?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100203/ap_on_bi_ge/us_toyota_recall

As a side note, I don't drive a Toyota. In fact, I would more than likely never buy one even if given the chance. It isn't that I think they are bad because the one I owned in past I was very happy with. I WOULD buy a Toyota over a Chrysler, Dodge, GM, Chevy or Cadillac though, since Toyota is not operating on a daily basis using our tax money. I only feel strongly about this topic on the principal of it all. It is ridiculous.

P.S. Here is how much trouble can be had with a GM product without ANY government action:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584781,00.html

This is 1100+ compliants and NO action.

A list of complications...

2010-02-01T15:50:00.009-06:00

Why does everything always seem to need to be so complicated? It doesn't matter if it is something as simple as buying groceries, it is still a complicated task. Everything is difficult. Well, everything can be difficult.

If you are headed to the grocery store, how do you prepare? Do you clip coupons? Do you make a list [and check it twice]? Do you have certain days when you go? Are there better deals on food certain days of the week? Do you buy only sale items? Do you buy huge quantity? There are so many questions for what should be a simple task. I mean seriously, we are just buying some food, right?

Since I am a typical man, I don't make a grocery list. I have made a lists in the past, but I usually forget them at home. So, I usually try to "wing it." I have pretty decent success in "winging it" until I get home and remember the identity of the item that spurned the trip. Later, when I get home, my list is right there on the counter waiting for me almost giving me a look like "I thought I got to go along, too." Messed up, I know.

How do you decide what to buy? Do you buy regional items? I always seem to want to support my local people as much as I can and I do so even when buying groceries. If I buy sliced ham, I buy "Sportsman's Ham" because it is delicious and it is packed in Saint Michael, MN [If I remember right]. If I buy other canned goods or meats, I always try to buy a local vendor's brand. I think it is a good thing for our local economy. If I am buying the item anyway, I MUCH prefer to give my money to a fellow Minnesotan. I bought chicken drummies from Walmart a couple years ago [before I was SURE that Walmart is the most evil company in the world and probably a spawn from Satan, now I will not shop there NO MATTER WHAT]. The chicken drummies I bought were from Ecuador. Seriously. They certainly weren't very local unless Ecuador is a city in Minnesota. And, to top it off, they weren't really much cheaper than the drummies I normally bought. I saved like $.04 per pound. After buying them, I was a little creeped out. I wondered how often the people of Ecuador washed their hands when butchering. I wondered if anyone ever asked. I wondered how an employee of the FDA could visually look at a chicken and be able to tell if the person butchering had poop under their fingernails. Gross. Also, I thought that I probably directly hurt the local economy by buying them, so I was riddled with guilt. I couldn't enjoy eating them because first I knew somebody local lost their job or couldn't take a vacation because of my purchase. Secondly, I didn't think that anything I could put on the chicken to wash off or kill the invisible poop was very healthy for me to eat. I was hosed either way.

For some reason, I can't seem to get myself to clip coupons. Why don't the store just automatically give you the money off? Instead, they give you tasks. Find a paper with our ad. Find a scissors. Clip out our ad. Bring it with you. Go to this store between these hours on these days. Buy this item in this size only. Then, you can save $.40! Ta da! [Limit one per customer.] So, I always figure that I am outsmarting them by not clipping coupons because I am sorry, my time is worth more than $.40. Then, I get to the store and find that the bag of potatoes that I want is $5.99 normally, but "This week ONLY" is $.79 with coupon. Suffering nuts! Does this really need to be so complicated?

I hate that the local grocery store seems to have sales that are very dependent on timing. I must be a magnet for this because I notice this all the time. I either see about the huge money saving sale in the store ad, but then get there and realize that it ended yesterday. Or, it starts tomorrow. It seems to be almost every time I have zero success. I wonder if the sale truly starts tomorrow if the items "on sale" are different from today until then? Do they magically restock the items in the middle of the night? I don't think so. Nope. I think the sale items are the ones that are currently on the shelf, but they can be bought at a reduced rate. But, for somebody else. Not me.

I am a sucker for a volume buy. It always seems like a good idea when I am at the store, but it not such a good idea when I get home. If a person is buying toilet paper, for instance, it is pretty much a situation where you can buy as much as they will let you and you are guaranteed usefulness out of all of it. If a person is buying something like ketchup on sale, this situation becomes a little more touch and go, but still fairly safe if you use ketchup regularly. If you are buying potatoes in the bag, on the other hand, it is maybe a poor idea to grab a few extra bags even if they are on sale. So, when I am carrying my 5 bags of potatoes to the car, it dawns on me that perhaps I didn't think this through very well. I know there are solutions, like to shred them and freeze them, but I never thought of that until they were beginning to stink. Lesson learned. I hope.

Do you buy generic items? Do you stick to brand names? Do you buy "Miracle Whip" or "Spinblend?" Do you buy "Heinz" ketchup or generic ketchup? Is there really a difference? I think there is a HUGE difference in barbeque sauces, but I can barely taste the difference in ketchup. I can tell the difference between "Cap'n Crunch" and the Malt-O-Meal generic bag cereal, but I think they are both good. The concept of generic versus name brand adds to my shopping confusion. For instance, I love baked beans. I buy "Bush's Baked Beans" because I think they taste great. I also love their new line of "Grillin' Beans." I wouldn't consider buying generic beans because the brand name ones are so good. On the other hand, I wouldn't consider buying brand name beans when buying black beans for cooking. I am using the "they are all the same" or "I am not paying for their advertising" theories and I could very well be wrong. But, I will likely never know.

When I get home from the store it is a truly special time. This time is the time when I remember what it was that I went shopping for in the first place. Whether it is toilet paper, laundry detergent, or deodorant it is something that I need. Not something frivolous like the ice cream I forgot to buy [that was on sale when I was at the grocery store with no coupon], but something that I needed badly enough to venture out and get. Something important. [sighs].

Each time I go grocery shopping I can pretty much figure that I just made plans for the following night. I suppose I can pick up some of that ice cream I was looking for assuming the sale didn't end today. Maybe a potato recipe. Maybe not. You get the idea.

Putting the "toy" in Toyota?

2010-01-27T22:04:00.018-06:00

Being the conspiracy theorist I am, I had a couple thoughts. I KNOW Barack Obama is far and beyond the worst president in American history. I KNOW the corrupt power of the current Democrat party leaders see no limits on abuses. I KNOW that the people in power in our government will go to almost ANY length to prove themselves correct and needed disregarding any morality or decency. I know this to be true. They have proven it again and again.

Do you suppose the Toyota recall is staged? I mean, what better way to PROVE that labor unions are the best way to be employed than to layoff non-union laborers from 6 automotive manufacturing plants and leave them without the extra benefits union employees get? What better way to PROVE we need Obamacare than have these workers lose medical benefits when unemployed because they don't have the big, wet, loving arms of Obamacare to keep them safe? What better way for General Motors and Chrysler Corp. to poach top Toyota workers at a reduced rate of pay? What better way to jump start a destroyed U.S. auto market (including government owned General Motors and Chrysler Corp.) than by eliminating the biggest competition (and thus MAYBE selling a bunch of GM's and Dodges)? What better way to imply that union run auto manufacturing companies make less mistakes and turn out higher quality products? What better way to PROVE that the automotive bailouts were a "great" idea? What better way to sway a sinking public opinion of the Democratic party's recently passed legislation than forcing a success out of it at Toyota's expense?

This really would not be very far fetched for this current administration. The Obama administration has been one of lies, empty promises, distorted truths, blame placing, and failure. The Obama administration truly has nothing to lose and everything to gain in this scenario.

What would stop them from doing this? Toyota IS acting as recommended by the United States government.

One thing should be said about Toyota. They stated that the "faulty" gas pedals were made by a U.S. company. They named the company. They left it at that. They are a class act for not jumping right into the finger-pointing that we have become so used to these days. It is refreshing.

Who knows? Maybe it is just me. Maybe I need to be more believing. Maybe Obama can give me some "hope" rather than just "change" from my dollars. Then again, maybe I just don't trust people that say one thing and do another.

Conan O'Brien's Haiti...

2010-01-27T20:20:00.012-06:00

I read this news story today. I suppose it is good for me to read things that motivate me.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100128/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/lt_haiti_us_aid

I quote:

"Two weeks after President Obama announced an initial $100 million for Haiti earthquake relief, U.S. government spending on the disaster has nearly quadrupled to $379 million, the U.S. Agency for International Development announced Wednesday. That's about $1.25 each from everyone in the United States."

Why is the United States is under fire from critics around the globe for our attempted assistance to others? I mean, we give quite a bit even in our own time of need. Our own economy is in the toilet and we cannot feed many of our own people. We cannot employ over 10% of our own people. We are in financial peril. But, we are still giving.

Our $100 million contribution to Haiti was very generous all things considered. I think our money is still worth more than their money is, so in conversion I think it is a tremendous sum. In the past I think our donations for any country in trouble have been very generous and I think we will continue to be the world leader in helping out others. With all of what we have given, we are sitting with $379 million donated. Not chump change when we are broke as a country. I am not that fired up about being a taxpayer and having to pay back this money we gave communist Haiti plus the extra money for interest, but I am willing to do so if it really helps those poor people in their time of need.

The only time our donations become and insult on a global scale is when we gave a talk show host almost half of the amount we gave to the 8 million people of Haiti to not be on television anymore. This is pathetic. I am not saying that our broke country should have given more. I am saying the initial $100 million is a lot of money to give. I am saying $45 million is a ridiculous amount of money to pay a talk show host to quit doing his show. Keep in mind that both our relief money for Haiti and Conan O'Brien's NBC contract payoff money are funded with your tax dollars (General Electric owns 80% of NBC. So maybe not all of Conan's money came directly from our taxes, but a good portion certainly did).

If the United States can afford to pay $45 million to Conan to not be on television, what can we truly afford to give to the people of Haiti? We as Americans (using the math in the article) each gave $1.25 to the people of Haiti with our 379 million dollars of donations. Initially we each gave $.33 with the first $100 million donated to Haiti. When we gave Conan O'Brien $45 million to get out of his NBC contract each person in the United States paid $.15. It would seem to the rest of the world that with our original donation, Conan O'Brien is almost half as important as all the people of Haiti.

For your information, our government gave General Electric $340 million in bailout/stimulus money last year. So, in the world's eyes, GE is only $39 million less important than the 8 million people of Haiti. I think in both scenarios we have just about as good of a chance in getting repaid. We have almost zero chance.

Until we get our heads out of the dirt and get real about wasteful spending in our own country, we cannot expect the other nations of the world to take us seriously. What is more important to you? One big business, a talk show host, or 8 million lives?

I am sick.

2010-01-25T17:00:00.009-06:00

I am sick now. I know I am always busy talking shit about how tough I am and how I never ever get sick, but I am sick now. I remember cocking off about a week ago about how strong my immune system is. I remember thinking about a month ago that I hadn't been sick since 2008 so my daily vitamin regimen must be very effective. Well, it isn't. I am sick. This sucks. This is horrible.

I go to work sick, because unlike anyone in their right mind, I am self employed and I would have to hire a replacement for myself. Being the tightwad I am, I don't hire a replacement. I just tough it out.

I always have this ridiculous idea in my head when I wake up in the morning that once I get up and get moving, I will feel much better. Then, when I don't feel any better I regret it. I talk myself into a 9:30-10 AM coffee break and rest and that does usually make me feel better until I start working again. Then, I feel like crap. I bide my time until lunch. I overeat figuring that "you need to feed a cold." Then, as the day wears on, I am sick with a bloated belly feeling like crap all afternoon. Eventually after what seems like an eternity, 4:30-5 PM rolls around and I convince myself that I will feel MUCH better when I get home. Then again, after what seems to be a very long time, 6 PM shows up and I can finally leave. It is a long, lame day.

I have observed that although some days I am not overly ambitious as it is, on sick days I am REALLY lazy. I have found this to be true. I truly don't care about your car. I don't care what is wrong with it and I probably lack the mental capacity to fix it even if I wanted to. I don't want to answer your phone calls. I don't want to quote a million services out for you that you will likely not have me perform, anyway. I really more or less want to be left alone. So, am I better coming into work and being a prick and losing sales? Or, should I hire somebody to be a prick for me and still lose sales? Hmm. It is a tough call.

I am a big baby when it comes to being sick, too. Not that I expect anybody to do anything for me, but rather that I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't care about chit chat. I don't want to answer questions about how I am feeling and yes, I do already know that I look like shit. Whew! I am glad that's out of the way.

I was thinking to myself this morning that if medical doctors spent less time trying to figure out how to give monkeys a four hour erection and spend more time researching viral strains, maybe this whole concept of "I have a cold" would be a thing of the past.

Seriously, look at the money that is wasted in this country. For example, Conan O'Brien got $45 million to leave NBC. That could have been $45 million for viral research. That could have been 45 million one dollar cold cures. That could have been a building, a lab, and a few scientists for quite a few years. Do you think that some doctor some where could come up with an effective cold solution for less than $45 million? I think so.

I was a Conan fan, but now I have 45 million reasons to not like him anymore. Do you know where that money came from that paid Conan? NBC is owned 80% by General Electric. General Electric got $340 million of stimulus/bailout money that they have NOT paid back. Thanks, GE. Bang up job in money management.

So, our taxes paid Conan and kept me sick.

The seizure of our time...

2010-01-21T19:37:00.013-06:00

While I can appreciate any of you sticking up for the Democrats, I do implore you to take a look at what they are doing right now. Well, I guess I think you should be looking at what they have been doing for the past year.

I think right now in this country if you are a backer of ANY political party you better get current with what they are doing for you. I think you should become educated about their platform on current issues before you spend any time telling others how great they are. It is tough to tell people how a political group is fighting for your beliefs when in reality, they really aren't. Along with this, you pronounce yourself a fool when you speak to others that are educated about current politics and blindly stick up for a group that no longer expresses the ideas you cherish.

It is a great, difficult thing to have a set of beliefs to live by. It is an even more difficult thing to stick by them when they are not a popular set of beliefs. It takes great courage and even greater moxie to tote unpopular beliefs when they are criticized. It is a respectable thing. But, I don't think the core beliefs of the Democrat party are represented in the government any longer.

The Obama administration doesn't deserve our respect. They don't deserve our applause. Mr. Obama is quite a good public speaker and a showman, but he has lied directly to the American public time and time again. From his claim to broadcast healthcare legislation on C-Span to his promise that 90% of the jobs created with his "stimulus" package would be in the private sector (needed for the bill's passing) his presidency has been one of lies. How about his criticism of the presence of lobbyists in the Bush administration, then his administration followed it by appointing even more. He criticized Bush for his budget and promised to end deficit spending, but then when elected he quadrupled the deficit and is asking for trillions more. The list goes on and on.

Before you blame this on somebody else (Obama is GREAT at this) realize that nobody was at the reigns of this country other than the president you elected when this all happened. You are a fool to continue to support him when he lies right to your face. You are a fool to not be a critic of his performance.

There are people out there that want to make this all about race and that is maybe closer to the truth than any of us would like to think. On one side of the coin there are people that don't want Obama to succeed solely because he is black. These people don't care if he is the best man for the job or not, they just want him to fail because of the color of his skin. These people are racist and assume that if you are a supporter of Obama, you don't agree with what white America stands for. Maybe these people endorse Harry Reid's "negro" comments. I am sure this is true.

On the other side of the coin there are people that desperately want Obama to succeed only because he is black. These people also don't care if he is even remotely good at the job, because they will back him solely based on the color of his skin. They desperately want him to succeed because of the the color of his skin. Even if his ideas are poor ideas, if you don't like them, then you are a racist. This is racism just the same. It becomes a popularity contest with these people and they are so sensitive to his race that if you are of the opinion that he is doing a poor job, they INSIST that you are a racist. I also know this to be true.

Most Americans that don't support him don't fall into either of these categories, but sometimes get labeled as such. Keep in mind, for the most part we ALL want him to succeed. Keep in mind that he works for us.

Mr. Obama works for you and I. It isn't the other way around. He does not DESERVE anything he hasn't earned. He does not deserve your respect and support. He needs to EARN your respect and support. But, he is truly his OWN worst enemy.

He gained your trust when he was campaigning, didn't he? He offered a palate of hope. A chance for a change. A promise of smaller government, less debt, more money for everyone and a decent paying job for every American worker. Lies. Lies. Lies. He even had control of the House and Senate to push his programs that were going to help us out. He has had a YEAR of control of the government but has gone back on his stances and failed to accomplish anything other than divide America further and spend us into unbelievable debt. You should consider how he has failed the American people in almost every claim or promise during his campaign. It is too bad in actual job performance, he is a failure. Sooner or later, he will have to face facts and admit that it is NOT Bush's fault.

If you like to be lied to, he is your man. If you like a politician to not take any responsibility for ANY action he created or failed to stop, he is your man. If you like you childrens' children's money being spent without any concrete signs of a better life for us or them, stick with Obama. If you like a government that wants to charge you a fee to be a citizen of this country (Obamacare), keep following him. Most of all, if you like somebody that says one thing but does almost exactly the other and spends all of our money either way, keep singin' "Go Obama!"

If you would like freedom in this country, you should look somewhere else. If you like small government and financial responsibility (personally and for business), you should look elsewhere. If you want to endorse a politician that actually does what they say they will do, Obama is not for you. I don't know who is. It seems in this day and age almost all the politicians are self serving and corrupt. But, when they write in the history books about this time in our country it is our time. Let's make our time a time to remember and not a time of more government corruption and lies.

Don't be naive. You can't afford to be. I can't afford to be. America can't afford to be. Your kids can't afford for you to be.

A letter to myself...

2010-01-21T18:44:00.004-06:00

This is a letter to my other personality. It is a part of myself, but sometimes it really pisses me off.

It seems that no matter what conclusions I made in this life, you don't agree. I guess maybe you don't always disagree as much as you find it impossible to just say that you agree and let the matter drop. You can never seem to get words like that out of your mouth in a sentence. It just doesn't happen. Not ever. It seems to be an impossibility. It used to be that I found it very inspirational and motivating to try to see things from your point of view. It was always a good education for me. It was a way to expand my mind. It forced me to think outside of my own feelings more than ever. Things aren't much different now other than I am beginning to think the only reason you have a descending opinion is solely to not agree with me. I am tired and would perhaps once like you to agree. I would like you to agree with sincerity, not just to quiet me up. I think you are scared that if you agree, you will lose yourself. Do you think I find satisfaction in your concession? Do you seriously think that if you were to just be a partner to me that way that I would be stealing your identity? Would it really be stealing anyway? Or, is it just evolution? Maturity?

I can't help that I think those 17 year old kids that murdered three people in cold blood should get the death penalty. If human life means so little to them that they would kill people in their own neighborhood to rob enough money to get their car out of impound, I think they should be killed. I am sorry that I am pissed about this. I am sorry that I think they could have tried to earn some money and be responsible young adults versus kill others for monetary gain. I am sorry I don't think they should the rest of their lives in jail. I wonder what the victims' families would do in a consequence free environment? You know what they would do. They would kill them. If they killed my brother, sister, mother, father or daughter I know I would want them to die. Perhaps even by my hand.

When I speak of the problems that we are faced with in this world, I don't do it to pleasure myself. I wasn't sitting around and thinking that it would be in my best interest to preach to you about something in which I know we don't agree. It never crosses my mind that I am bored and I should probably start a fight. I hate politics and politicians. I used to spend my life with a total lack of interest in politics. I don't know why God threw this shit in front of me now, but there has to be something good coming out of my concern. I wonder if my worry is in vain? I wonder if this fighting in my head is all in vain? I hope there is more to it, because I really struggle when I try to shut it off.

I am a person of business. I know that the way the government is spending money that we will all pay dearly down the line. Our kids' kids will be paying for it. I don't mean to go on and on about this, but I am scared for my daughter. I am scared for all of our future generations. The way this government is currently operating, the movie "Idiocracy" is not very far from accurate. I will never like the far left wing people in government any more than I like the far right. Both sides seem to be very close minded and inconsiderate of others. I will not ever like either of those sides.

It is good to want to help out your fellow humans. It is admirable. There is just one thing, though. Don't ask me to do it the same way you do. Don't ask me to do it as much as you do. Don't try to force me to do it if I am unwilling. If you want to help out, God bless you. But, figure out a way to pay for it before you start. Don't create a bunch of debt then attempt to guilt trip me into paying for it. I help people as much as I can. I don't need my hand forced. The government is now currently attempting to force my hand. I will resist. I promise.

Do you really want to help? If you truly want to help, sell everything you own and donate the money. Volunteer your time full time. Give up on this material life and go for a life of service. Make a real difference. Make a serious difference. Do not preach to me about how I should become more involved. Do not preach to me about my excess and how I can afford to give up some more. It is easy to tell somebody else how much they can give away when you aren't giving anything up to do it. Do not claim to want to help out your fellow human but make it only on terms that are easy, neat and clean. If you choose to make things easy, don't preach to me about your righteousness. I have two eyes, two ears, and a mind of my own. I don't need you to tell me how wonderful you are. I know. I am very perceptive. I see you all the time. I see you everyday. I live you. There is nothing you can tell me about yourself that I haven't already perceived and decided for myself.

I manage okay for being a single dad with a single income. I know that what I have is good enough. I know that despite the boatload of debt I took over from my ex-wife, I still do okay. I calculated it today and I figured I have only about another 7 years before I have my ex-marriage paid off. To you this is no big deal. To you this is just another negative thing from my former life. To me, this is victory. I may not have the nicest things in the world, but they are good enough for me. My mattress may have come from Menard's and not a mall store, but I can still sleep on it. My sheets might have been on clearance, but my head still rests on them just the same. My house may not be modeled or remodeled in the latest trends, but it is clean. It is mine. It is good enough for me. It is better than the one I grew up in, and that place was still our home. I never shared your dreams of the perfect house on the hill with the 2.5 kids, dog, and the lake home. I muddled my way through that part of my life drunk half of the time and not giving a fuck all of the time. Now, this is what I have instead of what you dream for. In all fairness, you weren't here until just now, so why should you even have a say? If you want new name brand designer shit, you buy it. On second thought, don't buy it. Don't bring it into my life. The name on the tag proves nothing to me. Maybe one of these days something I have will be good enough. Maybe.

This life is a life of solitude. It is what it is. I cannot shape it. I cannot change it. It is within but yet beyond my control. It is the tip on my fingers, but always a bit out of reach. It is America with big government control. It is the crushing of my dreams, but you just keep sticking up for it.

Flamingo is a man's shade of pink...

2010-01-18T20:09:00.011-06:00

Disclaimer: I do not vouch that this story is true. This is the way I heard it.

I bought another car a couple days ago. I really didn't need another car, but I bought one just the same. This is sick and stupid with the economy the way it is, but for some reason or another, I can't seem to resist. I suppose my automotive addiction could be likened to a woman buying many, many pairs of shoes, except my cars take up a lot more garage space. I do think it is very interesting that most cars have a story. This is especially true with older cars. This is my new cars' story.

My new car is a 1959 Ford Thunderbird. It was built by Detriot's finest in the fall of 1958 and it was covered in a special order Lincoln paint color that is called Flamingo Pink. Along with the pink lower body, it has a Colonial White top. The interior is black and white. The carpeting, door panels, and center console are black, and the inserts in the seats and doors are white. It has a 352 CI V8 FE series Ford engine with a cast iron Cruise-O-Matic 3 speed automatic transmission. It is wearing some white white wall tires for shoes. It is a beautiful thing.

At the time I knew the man that owned the car, but I didn't know him well (now he and I are great friends). He worked in our local hardware store, and I think I originally went to his place to find out about a carb, some parts, or something. I don't remember exactly what.

In his garage at the time, there were quite a few beautiful old cars. There was a 1967 Plymouth Satellite. It was dark green and boasted 440 cubic inch power. It was mean. There was a 1957 Ford 2 door hardtop. It was red and white and looked like it was fresh of the ad from the Ford Motor Company in 1957. There was a 1959 Ford sedan. It was green and white and he a non running inline six. It was a project. There were shelves and shelves of amazingly neatly organized carbs, nuts, bolts, hubcaps, and all sorts of other parts. The boxes were all labeled. Everything had its place. There was a handmade shop sign that boasted "Quality, Honesty, and Integrity...We Don't Fuck Around." For a sixteen year old kid that was into cars, this was a mystical, fabulous place. Aside from all of the other pleasantries, there was a pink Thunderbird in the corner.

I don't know anything about this car prior to me seeing it in approximately 1990. I remember seeing this car back when I was just a dumb, young kid (I am an old, dumb kid now). I instantly fell in lust with it. I remember wondering why in the world he had a pink car, but I never really had the courage to ask. I was just happy to be there in the proverbial Mecca that was his garage surrounded by the nicest old cars I had ever seen. I knew the pink was a strange color for him to have, but I dared not embarrass myself by asking the story behind it and risk getting ejected. I knew then that the pearly looking pink color was probably not the most manly color in the world, but it was elegant and the style of the body of the Thunderbird allowed that color to be forgiven. It was a good looking ride.

This is the story I heard about the car. The previous owner bought this car as a bit of a fixer upper. It wasn't in bad shape by any means, but it did need to have a face lift here and there. The paint was in nice shape and it was pink. The interior needed some freshening. So, he sent the car out and had a new black and white interior put into it. He put new wide whitewall tires on it. He repaired the brakes. He brought it back to his house to fix a couple other minor things on it before gifting it to his girlfriend at the time. Sounds like a sweet gift.

As I was told, he never got a chance to give it to her. Before he got the car finished and ready for her, she was involved in a car accident and died. And then, the car sat. Just as her time had passed on, so did the time for the car. As he mourned her, the car sat in its own state of silent respect. Later on, he stored it more permanently. He blocked it up in his shed and there it has sat for the better part of twenty years. He took it out and drove it around briefly in 2001, he said. Other than that, it hasn't moved much at all.

Now, it is mine. The previous owner ran down a short list of things that need attention on the old girl. It has a headlight bulb socket that needs repair. It needs a new bezel for the truck keyhole. The dash pad has a few cracks in it. He said it needs a rebuild kit for the carburetor. Then, he said he has a different carb for it. Then, he said he will rebuild me a different carb for it. He told me that I should switch intake manifold from the stock steel one when I fix the intake gasket that is leaking on it. He said he has an aftermarket Weiand intake manifold for it. I asked where he got his hands on that. He said "You gave it to me 20 years ago. Don't you remember?"

Nope, I don't remember. Wow. Is it possible that I actually gave old car parts away twenty years ago? Am I really that old?

I am excited about this latest old car venture. I am happy to have a little history with this fine fifty one year old example of Detriot innovation. It is exciting to own yet another piece of American history from back in the time when cars were exciting to own. It was a time when all the cars from every manufacturer were rolling works of art. It is a good thing.

Maybe, just maybe I can create a story or two of my own in it. I am glad my friend trusts me with a car he has such a history with and I knows that I won't taint it. Maybe I can teach my daughter about a little piece of America. I just hope the curse of the girlfriend was a one time thing.

A couple quick thoughts...

2010-01-14T22:23:00.008-06:00

When I started doing some writing, I didn't really know how to begin. Although I have written down a few different things now, I still feel the same every time.

There seems to be no decent way to begin this. I had thought of multiple different approach scenarios, but no matter what method of introduction I was contemplating, I really truly was feeling like an addict/alcoholic at an AA meeting. Or, I guess, maybe I am feeling more as if I am at a somewhat embarrassing orientation ritual for a cause or company that I am either not so sure of or not so proud of. I am feeling a little nervous with my palms moist. I have my crappy paper name tag on. My name on that tag is spelled incorrectly and written crooked on the tag so no matter how you adjust it, either my name or "Hello my name is" doesn't look right. Whichever way you want to look at it, I am nervous either way. I am sorry if I am slouching in my chair despite my mother always telling me to sit up straight. Although I intend to appear confident and studious on the outside, on the inside I am laying on the floor in the closet in the fetal position with my thumb in my mouth and my favorite "safe" blanket in my grasp. Hmm. Is this almost an analogy of me in day to day life? Naw. Anyway, here it is. Or, perhaps, here I am. Enjoy. Criticize. Whatever.

I was watching the Discovery channel and a couple other channels the other night (I flip around. I have ADHD. Sorry.) for a couple hours and I am fully disgusted. I saw not 1, not 2, not 3, but 8 commercials for the Chevy Traverse or the GM Terrain. Normally this would mean very little to me especially since these are not vehicles I am remotely interested in purchasing. This time though, I got thinking about it. I was paying attention for a change.

General Motors had 8 commercials in a little over two hours. Ford had only 1 commercial that I saw. Toyota had 1 commercial I saw. So, just so you and I are on the same page here, General Motors had 8 commercials with our bailout money while the two other car companies represented that operate on their own dollar were only able to afford one each. In my jaded view of the world this means that if you have to pay personally (as a company) for advertising and are certain that the law of diminishing returns could be in full effect and you realize after a recent attempted intervention by our government in your industry, you limp in with one ad. If you are operating on money that the people of this fine country have paid and it is likely you can never repay anyway, you buy as much advertising as you can since apparently to General Motors if you are losing money, you can make it up with volume. Nice, right? This pisses me off.

Am I the only one that really is affected very, very little by advertising? I was thinking about this the other night. I think the only way advertising really gains my attention at all is if it is for a new product. But, after I see a commercial once, I don't think I really need to see it again. If there is something I am interested in after seeing the commercial, I usually check it out online. The world wide web really has information about everything on it and all of this information is right there at our fingertips just waiting for our absorption any time of day or night. I really don't think repeated commercials about the product do much for me other than waste my time and irritate me. I was thinking of the commercial for "Bing" (it is a new search engine) and how true it is that we get bombarded with information we don't necessarily want or need almost no matter what we do in this world. It is sad in a way. The advertising elicits emotions either way.

I almost feel bad for some of these companies that are spending huge bucks trying to convince us that we need their "fabulous" products despite our lack of interest in them. I feel almost prideful about some of the other products that I do purchase. I feel almost proud to buy them if they have a good commercial. But, I don't think their presentations of their products really persuade me to buy them. I either like the products or I don't. I don't think I will buy anything just because Mike Rowe or Michael Jordan says it is super, and I respect both of these gentlemen quite a lot. I am not a celebrity and I really don't think their lives relate to mine in many ways at all.

I suppose all of this advertising is necessary to market their products in this competitive world market. One thing that seems strange to me and I am sure it is strange to generations older than mine is that just a few years ago almost none of this existed. I grew up in a time of newspapers, AM/FM radios, and network television that we didn't even watch every day. Where we have gotten now as a society as far as advertising goes in absolutely astounding for such a short time. Now we can get ads for new products delivered constantly to us on our mobile phones while we are in a meeting or on our mobile phone with somebody else. We can surf the internet for any answer for almost any question from almost anywhere in our world. I suppose with this many opportunities, a company would be foolish to not capitalize on many of them. But, their multiple repetitive ads won't sway me. Or, will they? I guess maybe I am a sucker for ads, too. (sighs)

A little old lady said...

2010-01-14T09:58:00.006-06:00

Yesterday I had a customer in my shop that got me thinking. She stopped by and bought some tires from me for her car. As I put her tires on for her, she stayed back in the shop and her and I had a conversation.

There was little old lady in front of me. If I had to guess, I would guess her to be in her early to mid seventies. She was wearing a fur coat that looked to be real fur. She looked of wealth, but maybe aged wealth. She looked regal and royal, yet not egotistical or self righteous in any way. She had an air of experience about her. She spoke very down to Earth. She was entertaining to listen to. I took an immediate liking to her.

With fire in her eyes and a devious smile, she told me a few stories about her younger years. She told me about getting pulled over by the cops and what she did to get out of tickets. She told me about a few different cars she had. She told me about her speeding excessively and almost getting caught. She told me about the famous people that she knew back then and probably still does now, but she used a past tense when speaking of them. She told me about riding motorcycles. She told me about a lot of things. As she spoke, there was passion in her eyes. There was a solid tone to her voice. She told me these stories with a smile.

A few of the cars she mentioned that she had owned confirmed my suspicion that she had some money. I mean, not too many people had a $50,000 Corvette in the late 80's and mid 90's. I know cars and the car she was speaking of is no joke. It was super limited build and very, very fast. She told me about her 1966 Mustang rag top. She told me stories of how she traveled the country with her Mustang one summer with the top down. She told me about Daytona Beach in the summer and riding her motorcycle on the beach. She told me about a lot of things.

She said she could only buy 2 tires today. She said since her husband got sick (I didn't ask what happened to him) they don't have a lot of extra money to spend anymore. She said despite being tighter with money and his health being questionable, things are still okay. In fact, she said, she and her husband are happier than they have ever been.

What I took from my conversation with her was that she had lived without regret. She remembered how things were and although they had peaked a few years back, that was just fine with her. When she spoke she oozed excitement and spirit from her past. I felt that although times were maybe on a down swing for her now, she was proud of her past. She was pleased to have lived the way she did. She was very calm about her current situation and she knew no matter what happened to her know, nothing would ever take away from the good times she had. It was inspirational.

I hope we have a chance in this life to feel they same way about our lives as she did hers. Our goal should be to tell people about our past with a wink and a smile despite all the bad things that happen. What greater freedom could we ever afford than the freedom to confidently say "It was a hell of a ride!"?

Not all red socks are from Boston...

2010-01-11T09:06:00.031-06:00

There has been many challenges in this life. Some of them spring up ahead of you and need to be dealt with by necessity. Other challenges exist of our own creation. This is a quick story about the later.

In my college days, as brief as they were, I got into a bit of mischief. I went to college for only one year before I decided that I had wasted enough time and money pursuing something that I wasn't very interested in. I lived on campus in the dormitory of a school that will remain unnamed.

Being the naive farm kid that I was (and still am), it took me a little while to become used to the concept of community living. For instance, I wasn't used to the clanking around of others during the night. I wasn't used to sharing a sink to shave or a shower to wash in. At my parent's house, I had a whole floor to myself. So, this concept of "living with others" wasn't very appealing, and was very foreign to me.

One thing in particular that was troubling was laundry. I knew how to do my own laundry, but I didn't have much practice at it since my beautiful mother took care of that stuff for me. Sorry, but I was very, very spoiled (God bless you, mom!). It never really occurred to me upon moving out that this would be a task that I would have to do on a regular basis.

When I moved into the dorm and got settled, it took me about a week before I was re-wearing and spot cleaning my clothes. I needed to wash some clothes. Lame.

I had used a coin operated wash machine before, but I had no idea how long it would take to run a cycle of clothes. I figured it had to be around an hour or so. I had an Economics class at 7:30 AM (I know, nothing like Economics to wake you up, right?). I would put a load in at 7:20, go to class, and then I would switch the load to the dryer at 8:35 after my first class and before my second class at 9:00AM. Neat. Clean. Simple.

I did this with pretty sound success for a month or so. Then, one day, I came back from Economics and my clothes were laying on the floor. Apparently somebody else could wait no longer for me to get back (like 10 minutes), pulled my clothes out of the washing machine, and threw them on the floor. I mean, I don't think my clothes leaped from the washing machine by themselves. Whoever the culprit was, they didn't put my clothes into a basket. They didn't put my clothes on top of the dryer. They put them on the floor. On the dusty, dirty floor. On the community floor. On the icky, dusty, dirty community floor. My clothes were sitting there on the floor in a puddle of water. Gross.

Their clothes were still in the washer and the washer was in the first stage of washing so this event had occurred very recently. Somebody else had decided to use the dryer (I am not sure where they got wet clothes, but I think they were from another floor), so both the washer and dryer were full.

There I sat. What was I supposed to do with a load of wet clothes and no means to dry them? Although I was a little bit pissed, I didn't really do anything other than grab my basket and throw my wet clothes in and take them back to my room. Once I had them safely in my room, I draped them over my loft to let them begin to dry. I figured I would have time to fully dry them later, and I had to get to class. I wanted to wait around to see who else was doing laundry, but class called and I didn't want to be late.

The day wore on. I went to my classes and stopped back to the dorm in between each class to try to dry my clothes, but the dryer was full all day. For the afternoon, it was full of clothes that somebody left in it, but either way, it was full and I wasn't about to throw other people's clothes on the floor despite what was done to mine.

I was done with my last class around 4:30 PM, and the dryer was still busy. My clothes were pretty much dry from hanging by then, so I moved them from the loft into the closet. I was done, I guess. I asked around to somehow try to find out who the person was that pitched my wet clothes on to the floor. By now, I wasn't really upset at all. I was just going to tell them that I am back from class at 8:30, so I would appreciate it if they wouldn't do that again. Fair enough, yes?

It took a couple days for me to find out who it was that ejected my clothes from the washing machine. I asked him about the details of the situation and he turned beet red and said he had no idea the clothes were mine. He said he was sorry. He said he was doing his laundry on a different floor (where he lived) and somebody did the same thing to him and he was pissed so he took it out on me. It was only an emergency that he got his clothes done, he said, because he had a job interview and he had nothing to wear. He said he needed his clothes clean and dry by 10 AM. He apologized again and I told him not to worry about it. I told him next time, though, I would have my clothes out by 8:30, so if he could just wait 10 minutes, I would appreciate it. Problem solved. Or, so I thought.

A week or so passed, and I was getting down to re-wearing and spot cleaning again, so I decided to wash some clothes. I got up around 7:10, loaded the washing machine at 7:20 and headed to class. I went to my Economics class and dropped by the dorm between classes to switch my laundry. What did I find? Again, my clothes were wet laying on the floor. I left my basket there in case somebody decided that it was more important for them to wash their clothes than it was me. But, my clothes weren't in it. My basket was gone. Either it grew legs, or the person that dumped my clothes took my basket as well.

Needless to say, this didn't sit very well. To say I was pissed off would be putting it lightly. I stormed directly to the room where the villain from the last incident lived. He wasn't there. I waited around, but he didn't show up. I caught up with him later in the day (I was still very angry) and asked him about it. He said he had no idea what I was talking about. He said it wasn't him. I asked him to ask around because this was the last time my clothes were going to end up on the floor. I was pissed. I got my clothes dried in my room again.

About a week later, I walked into a conversation in a friend's room. They were talking about doing laundry and how this guy they know and his jock friends were messing around with people for fun. They were pretty sure that nobody could pin anything to them. They didn't really care if somebody could. They were sure that nobody would stand up to them, anyway. It was a big joke to them. Nice gag. Original.

This would not do at all. As they say, two can play at this game. I guess they also say that paybacks are a bitch. I started researching them. I started paying attention. I got these guys' class schedules. I started paying attention to their time habits. I started building my course of vengeance.

I went to the local mall's dollar store and bought bundles and bundles of red socks. You know, just cheap, plain, red socks. I had my weapons. I knew their schedule. My plan was set.

I waited until one of them put a load of light colors in the washing machine. I waited until they left. Then, I struck with a red finger of revenge. I switched the wash water to hot and threw in a red sock. Then, I waited patiently until the cycle was almost over, and pulled the rebellious red sock back out. I switched the water setting back to cold. Mysterious. Sneaky.

To make things better yet, I slipped the spent red socks into the garbage cans in their rooms. Or, by the doors of their rooms. Or, in their foyers. Somewhere that wasn't too obvious, but wasn't too hidden, either. Somewhere where somebody else could walk by and casually see it.

One of them would find a sock in the other one's room and then that person became "caught red handed." This erupted all sorts of arguments and fighting between this group of wanna-be pranksters. Each of them were sure it was one of the other ones doing this to them. Each time a planted sock was found, it only reinforced their suspicions. They were a suspicious bunch that trusted not one inside their group. Every one of them was a suspect to the rest of the group. Every one of them was being watched by the rest of the group. They were paranoid.

Later on, I started just leaving the socks in the load. Who cared anyway? I did this quite a few times. In the next couple weeks I watched a transformation take place. They were all turning pink. The group was livid. They started doing their laundry on different floors. I followed them. I accidentally pinkened some other people's clothes, but with the red socks slipped into the pranksters' rooms or garbage cans, they took the heat for it. Slowly but surely most residents' light clothes began to become pink. Their dress shirts were pink. Their socks were pink. Their jeans even had a pink hue. Everything from white towels to their school logo shirts were all tinted pink.

The pranksters tried to watch their laundry loads more closely to prevent further pinkening, but it took only seconds to slip in a sock and they were so busy trying to blame one another that they paid little attention to me.

One of the most challenging things I have ever done it to keep a straight face when they asked me about it. I never took any blame since they never could pin any of it on me. I never told anyone and I never revealed that I had any hand in any of this. My vengeance was a private matter.

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold. I think in this case, it is a dish that is best served hot and with a red sock.

AT&T and a CB radio that runs XP...

2010-01-08T22:01:00.018-06:00

My journey each day is a perilous one it seems. Each and every day I am faced with troubles and problems that need to be handled with the most delicate of care. Being the pure diplomat that I am, this comes naturally for me. But, that isn't what this story is about. This story is about something else. Sort of.

About 2 1/2 years ago I was in the midst of a somewhat bitter divorce. Sparing you details, during that time I shut off my cable, phone, and pretty much anything else that wasn't necessary in my house to try to save myself some money for legal bills and other expenses. I also wasn't very certain about my permanence at this residence, so I saw no sense in spending more than I needed to. I suppose that annoyed my ex, too. She was living here at the time. I suppose she may have been a titch upset that these things were working one day and shut off the next. But, as sweet as that was, that wasn't the true motivation behind it. I needed to save a couple bucks every month, and turning off the frills was a great way.

I lived in my house with little or nothing to do in the evening for a month or two and I was pretty bored. I had friends, but few people want to go and hang out in the middle of a divorce. I didn't really feel like doing much at the time other than enjoying a little solitude. But, I got bored. I went into my office at work one evening and was goofing off on the internet for a while and I looked to see about how much my wireless phone bill was going to be for the month. On the front page at attwireless.com was a special promotion boldly proclaiming cheap, reliable, fast internet service that was bundled with your mobile phone service. I read about it and it almost sounded too good to be true.

There was an initial start up fee and equipment cost of about $150. After that was bought, it added about $39 per month to my mobile phone bill for unlimited service. There was a 2 year service agreement with a free 30 day trial period. It sounded really fair. It sounded like fun to have the mobility of wireless internet. To be completely honest, the more I read about it, the more impressed I was. It seemed like a great deal.

The next morning I called customer service at AT&T to talk to a real live person and ask them if what I read the prior night was true. The woman on the phone was very pleasant and she assured me that what I read was indeed true. I could have fully portable internet with speeds faster than the DSL I had on my land line previously at home. I asked how reliable it was. She told me that they never have reliability trouble with it. I asked how good the service would be in my area. She told me that my area has perfect service. She told me that she uses the same wireless service herself and she really likes it (she lived in Atlanta, BTW).

Without further ado I ordered it. Charge me up. Plug me in. Bring it on.

I waited for 4 days more or less foaming at the mouth by the mailbox for it to arrive. Then it came [trumpets and fanfare in background]. I tore open and box and inside is what looked like half of a graham cracker covered in circuits. I raced into my office where my laptop was waiting. I put it in. I fired it up. My laptop found the card. My laptop was searching for the network. Searching. Searching. Nothing happened. Hmm. I looked in the box and found the install CD. I wondered if their wireless card may only work with their software? Hmm. I installed AT&T's proprietary software. I rebooted. Then, nothing happened. I moved my laptop toward the window thinking I could get a cleaner signal. It made no difference. I moved it outside into my pickup. No change. What was I doing wrong?

I called customer support and the gentleman attempted to help me by running me through all sorts of tests [Most of which I already tried. I think some of the tests were solely to kill time and piss me off]. The computer knew the card was there. The software was functioning properly. The card could not find the signal of the network. I was on the phone with this technician for over an hour. We could not get it to connect. He told me to wait until the following day and leave the computer turned on because maybe it needs to find the network and update. I was irritated, but agreed.

The next day I got to work and one of the first things I did was check on the laptop to see if it was connected yet. It was not. I called customer support again. This time, a woman answered and she was very pleasant. She wanted us to do some tests. These were the same tests I told her that me and the other technician had done the night before. She said that it didn't matter because the card was searching for the network and she needed to know why it wasn't working and that this should only take a couple minutes.

After about one more hour on the phone, she decided that the card I received in the mail must be faulty. She told me to send it back to AT&T, and when they receive it, they will test it and send me out another card. Or, she said, she can send a card right away, but she would have to charge me for both cards until they get the returned card back. I opted to sent it back and wait for the new card since my enthusiasm for this project was beginning to dim a little. Well, a lot.

Six days later another box came in the mail and inside was a new card. I raced into my office ready to tackle the world one byte at a time. I fired up my laptop. I installed the software (again). I inserted the card. Windows found the card. And then, nothing happened. It couldn't find the network. Bloody hell. Nothing happened at all. There was no change. I moved to the window with my laptop. Nothing happened. Again.

I called customer support again trying desperately to mask my sarcastic rage. On the phone this time was a nice man. I quizzed him about what I could possibly be doing wrong. He wanted to do some tests but assured me that the test would only take a couple minutes. So, again (although I was protesting), I did an hour of tests. Still it refused to connect. He said maybe it needs to find the network and that I should leave my laptop turned on until tomorrow and see if it finds the network. I reluctantly agreed.

The next morning, I got into my office and popped open the screen on my laptop. By now my expectations were substantially lower. I hoped for a found but then lost internet connection. I hoped for a failed download. I hoped to have some blip of activity. I hoped for an error. I hoped for a hard drive failure. I hoped for fly shit on the screen. Something. Anything. Again, there was nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. Still searching. Searching. Searching.

I called customer support. A nice fellow answered. He told me he would like to run some tests. I told him I was really not in the mood for tests anymore. I told him that I was all tested out. He expressed his sincere apology, but informed me that he could not make the card function per design without these tests. I said nothing. He suggested that maybe the building I was in was blocking the signal or causing interference. He suggested I consider getting an external antenna for the wireless card.

I thought about it for a second and wondered if he could be right. I mean, I had moved my laptop towards the window and outside to my truck, but maybe I didn't wait long enough. Could this be the problem? I asked the nice fellow where I could get this mystical "antenna." He said that they didn't sell them since the manufacturer didn't recommend them for the card I had. He said "If it were mine, I would ebay it." I thought to myself "Damn right. I WILL ebay it." So I looked online. I found an antenna. I was $40 with free shipping and had boasted a great signal boost. I looked the brand up online and it seemed to be a decent brand. So, I ordered it.

Eleven days later my antenna arrived. It looked to be something that was purchased at Fleet Farm. It had a magnetic base and a 24" whip. I had about 30 feet of cable attached to it. I was in disbelief that this crude antenna could be a solution to any sort of problem. It looked like it should be bolted either to the roof of a semi tractor or the to the mirror of a mid-seventies Dodge van. Well, it is worth a shot, I thought. I trampled into my office. I grabbed my laptop. I hooked it up. I waited. I began to laugh. I began to laugh hysterically. I looked at my laptop and realized that I just turned a sophisticated electronic device into something that looks like a one foot square CB radio that runs Windows XP. I drip of sweat had formed at my brow. And then, it had signal. It showed signal! [Trumpets and fanfare in background!] I waited a second. I tried to surf. But, nothing happened. It showed signal. It showed that it was connected, but it wouldn't load a page. I had nothing but a white screen.

I called customer support. I told then all about my problems. The wonderful woman I spoke with on the phone told me that if I am using an antenna and it isn't a manufacturer's antenna that I could void the warranty of the wireless card. I told her it was an antenna that was manufactured by the same company that built the wireless card so it should be fine. She told me I must be mistaken, because the company does not make an antenna for that card. Shit. Busted. I panicked like a deer in headlights and hung up on her.

I called customer support back and this time a guy answered. I told him about what had happened so far [omitting that I was using an antenna] and he extended his most sincere apology for my trouble. He told me he needed to run some tests, but that the tests would only take a few minutes. I thought "Here we go again." One hour later, I was done with the tests. Still, it didn't work. He suggested I leave my computer on overnight in case the card needs more time to find the network and update. So, I did, figuring that since I showed some signal now, maybe he was right this time.

The next day, I got up to work and looked at my laptop. I showed signal, but nothing looked like it changed. I tried to use the internet, but it didn't work. I was staring at a white, blank screen since the page wouldn't load. By now, my patience was at its end. I called customer support again and this time I wanted to get a return authorization for the card. I was done. I had enough. I was at the end. The gentleman on the phone was very patient with me despite my hostility. He said we needed to run a couple tests quick and make sure something wasn't wrong with the configuration of the card. I refused. I said I want to send this thing back because it doesn't work. I told him my whole story of frustration and failure. I told him that I told there was no internet worth this much aggravation. I told him a lot of things.

After a couple minutes of offering me his most sincere apologies, he paused. He asked "Is your address 750 Dutch Lake Drive?" I said "Yes." He said "Is that in Howard Lake?" I said "Yes." He said "Minnesota?" I said "Yes, why?" He said "Well, that is an area that has been reported as what we like to call a 'bubble.'" I asked "What is a bubble?" He said "A 'bubble' is an area that has little or no connectivity with our network." He continued "I am surprised that whoever sold you the card didn't mention it. You won't be able to connect there very well or at all. Is the computer at your house?" I answered "Yes." He asked "Is there any way to move the computer either 400 yards south or 600 yards north?" I told him that I didn't think so. I informed him that I was sad to report that I couldn't move my fucking house either A: Into the goddamn lake or B: Onto the middle of the fucking highway to make his signal better.

He said that he could understand why I was upset and that he didn't understand why the person who sold me the card hadn't made me aware of this problem at my location. I told him that my home address is on the bill. My home address is on the fucking account. Funny how NOBODY there noticed it after hours and hours on the phone and multiple calls and still with no service. He said he would send out a postage paid label for the card's return. He said he would cancel the service. He apologized again. I hung up still furious, but glad it was over.

Four days later an envelope came from AT&T. Inside was a postage paid label that I promptly stuck onto the box. Later that day I went into town and stopped by the post office to mail the box. I felt a wave of relief as I dropped the box off. Here in this box was a thing that caused me endless anger and discontent for almost a month, and now it is gone. Whew.

A few weeks past and I got bill in the mail from AT&T. There were charges on my bill for wireless "Connect" card. I thought it must be an oversight, but I called customer service anyway. The woman I got on the phone was courteous enough, but she was firm in stating that I signed a contract for service. I argued that I never got my card to work at all. She said "Mr. Miller, I am looking at your usage right here. You used this device. It connected to our network." I told her maybe it transferred some data, but it never worked like I was told it would. She asked what I meant. She asked if I meant that it didn't work at all, or did it just not work well? I told her it looked as if it was connected, but I couldn't load pages with it. She asked if I told a customer support representative about this issue.

[White knuckles. Fists clenched.] I told her that I had spent HOURS on the phone with customer service [as my blood pressure goes to 200 and my gums are bleeding from me gritting my teeth]. She said "Then why didn't you cancel this within your 30 day trial period?" I asked her what she meant. She read off the terms of my agreement. I told her I was well aware of the terms in regard to the 30 day free trial, but I cancelled my service before thirty days. She argued that I didn't. She said "I have it right here in front of me. It's 32 days." I told her that was impossible. I said I counted off the days when I cancelled and I know I had a few days to spare after my last call to cancel, and at that time I sent the card back. She said that my service didn't officially cancel until they received the wireless card back and verify that it wasn't damaged. She said she wasn't authorized to cancel this account when it was past its 30 days trial. She said I could opt for early termination of my service plan, but that would cost $275.

So, to make a long story less long, after spending another hour on the phone and talking with her supervisor's supervisor, my account was credited. My service was cancelled. My life was restored to normal in regards to internet service.

All in all I think I could say my experience with AT&T's wireless internet service was pretty good, as long as you know that when I say "pretty good" that I mean that they are liars, cheats, thieves, and morons. They lack knowledge about their products and services, and they are stupid beyond all help. They are useless beyond all description, and I hope they contract something itchy and rashy that there is no salve or treatment for yet.

If you know somebody looking for a good used wireless internet card antenna, I have one. But seriously, I don't. I may have taken a portion of my aggression out on the one I had. But that is a different story.

My boss is a dink.

2010-01-07T14:25:00.011-06:00

Working all the time really sucks, but it has its perks. I am self employed (as some of you know) and my regular work week is 57 hours. When I say 57 hours, I mean 57 hours of being at work, answering the phone, working and the like. I don't have much drive time to get to and from work, so the 57 hours is actual hours "on the job." Aside from this, I am on call 24/7/365 for a different business I own. In our slow economy, I am working now more than I ever have and drawing much less of a wage. This is all okay to me though (as if I have a choice). Since the removal of the blood sucking woman I married back in 1996 (READ:$$$$$) from my life in the year of our Lord 2007, I can live on much, much less and still have more than ever.

Without further ado, here are a few quick reasons that working all the time is a good thing:

1. You don't need to worry about spending money on ANYTHING since almost every store everywhere is closed between 11 PM and 4 AM when you aren't at work. Thank God the grocery store is open 24 hours a day. Wait. It would probably be better for my waistline if it wasn't.

2. In today's job market what used to be "HA HA! You have to work the weekend and I don't!" has become "I wish I had a job...any job." You will no longer be jealous of your friends and their time off of work, because you will still be able to afford to live, while they will be cashing in their food stamps and unemployment checks for lottery tickets since they are laid off.

3. We are older than dirt. We are our parents age. We are the same age that when we looked to our parents and thought "Wow...they are old. I wonder what it would be like to be that old?!?" What the else is there to do, anyway? It's not like we are going to an all night rave anymore. Are we planning a trip to the bar until 2 AM and then to the strip club until 5 AM? Yeah, that isn't going to happen. I mean, what's a wild night now? Starting a movie after the 9 o'clock news? Having a cup of coffee after 6 PM? Come on...if we weren't at work we would be sleeping anyway. Don't kid yourself.

4. We have kids. I know the 10 seconds of ecstasy was all well worth it, but if we really want to get them and us ahead in this day and age, we need to keep working to accomplish it. If we don't, we won't be able to afford to purchase a second home when they won't move out of our home [when they are 35]. Then, we will be forced to live with them forever. [shudders]

5. Not unlike old(er) people bitching about walking uphill [both ways] 7.5 miles to school carrying their 5 brothers and sisters through a blizzard when it was -70 degrees outside, working weekends is a great thing to complain about. Keep in mind, most of our parents didn't. Because they didn't, our parents scrimped and saved money to buy stuff and saving money is a concept that we refuse to adopt. Many of our families were single income, and those that weren't, many of our parents never worked weekends. Mine did, but I know many others that didn't. But, in today's world, it is a good idea.

6. You are never lonely at work. Usually no matter what you do, there is somebody at work who annoys the piss out of you. If not that, there is somebody that makes you very angry. They are a thorn in your side when they are there, and you are happy when they are gone. So, you can't be lonely because it is a great relief to have them leave [CRAVING loneliness], and when they are at work, you aren't alone anyway [sick, I know].

7. It is a great crash course in internet shopping. Personally, after my 11 hour day, I really don't feel like cleaning up and venturing back out into the cold like a pilgrimage across the wasteland scavenging for provisions. I support my local businesses as much as I can, but much of my gift shopping is from Target online.

8. You have zero desire to purchase "useless" items. You will never know just how nice that new garbage can and matching towel rack would look in your bathroom. You never make it to the store to find out, and if you do ever get to the store, you are in such a hurry (to get back so you can go to work or sleep) that you don't bother noticing it sitting there on the shelf anyway. Also, all things look somewhat the same color under artificial light. After spending 57 hours of your week in artificial light, perhaps your gaze is a bit dulled.

9. It trims down your friend list. If you have no time to get out and meet new people, the potential for additional Christmas cards, birthdays, weddings and parties is greatly reduced. This is a plus in most scenarios. Do you remember your new friends that are moving next year after their wedding this year and need a trailer and a guy with a strong back to help? I don't. I pissed them off really badly last year, so I am off the hook. For them to call me to ask for help now looks as if they are only being friendly to get some free labor (of which I would probably not have time for anyway..I have to work that weekend, I am sure). I don't know how things are for you, but I routinely piss off at least 5-6 people a year so badly that they don't want to ever talk to me again. Given this fact, it stands to reason that in a few years, I will be sending out no Christmas cards at all. Wait. I am already there.

10. You don't feel guilty about not exercising much. There are few things like a 11 hour a day manual labor job that help burn about 5000 calories a day. When you are done working, you are usually so tired that you don't have the energy to drive to the gym, let alone actually do something if you got there. I recommend sitting down in a comfortable chair post work. In using this diagram, I am able to remove all of my guilt about not running on the treadmill because I am almost instantly asleep.

SEE?!? Working all the time is GOOD!....I guess...[sighs].

The young engineer and his red shirt.

2010-01-06T23:02:00.002-06:00

Seeing my daughter in her age of 12 reminds me of my youth. It also brings to light that her youth is quite a bit different than mine was.

If we (me or my 2 brothers or 2 sisters) got hurt when I was young, there was no calling of ambulances or rushed trips to the hospital. We had our wounds cleaned out with good old stinging rubbing alcohol, and them we got a bandaid. Or 2. Or 3. Or a wad of gauze and some tape.

I remember hauling hay wagons from the field to the barn and back again with the tractor when I was 12ish or so years old. This was a task I really wanted to do and driving the tractor on the road was still a privilege. When you are young and on the farm, you always want to be a bigger kid and be operating bigger equipment. At my young age, this hauling wagons task was a good task. It was a prideful task. It felt important.

Being the young engineer that I was, I had the brilliant idea to tie a twine string around the clasp of the hitch pin so when I had to unhook the wagon, I could just stop, reach back, and pull the rope and the hitch pin slid out of the draw bar (releasing the wagon). I still had to get on and off the tractor to hook up the wagon each load, but unhooking was a piece of cake. I used this new patent almost all day without issue until the last few loads. I dropped the third to last wagon at the barn and headed back out to the field with just the empty tractor since we were almost done and we needed all of the wagons back at the barn to uload them. I was driving along and all of the sudden POW! Something struck me in the head. All I saw was blood.

Upon initial inspection, I realized a couple different things. One thing was that although my rope-to-pin patent seemed brilliant, it had a dangerous flaw. If you didn't have a load on, the hitch pin swung freely around the rear of the tractor. So, if it is swinging around freely and hits a rear tire when the tractor is driving in road gear, what happens? (ponder ponder?) The pin launched off of the rear wheel at full extension of the twine string, made a arc in the air, and in finishing its rapid forward motion, connected with my forehead. It would seem it was almost impossible for me to use a better length of rope than I did to aid in injury.

One other thing I realized was that fact that head wounds bleed fast and generously and they can appear as if they are a lot worse than they really are.

Yet another thing I realized is that I wasn't sure how badly I was hurt and I wasn't sure I would be able to get home without help. So, I turned around and covered my left eye since I thought that was where most of the bleeding was coming from and I wanted to apply pressure to the wound.

I drove back home more or less on auto pilot. I walked up to the house and my mother was there and she saw me more or less bathed in my own blood by this time. She had glint of slight panic, but snapped out of it quickly. Then, without a falter, she dragged me into the house, pulled the good ol' alcohol out of the medicine cabinet, shoved my head into the sink, and doused me with it (to my dismay). I secretly thought to myself that the likelihood of me getting the rest of the day off was very high until she looked at the gash on my head. She muttered something barely audible. Then, she reached into the medicine cabinet for the second time. I couldn't see what she was doing since as a result of my twisting and fussing I had been reminded not-so-politely that it would be in my best interest to hold still. I felt a painful pinch near the wound, and then fingernails poking my forehead. She released her grip on me, and walked out of the bathroom.

I turned my head up and looked into the mirror. It was about a 2 inch cut. But, my beautiful Polish mother had pinched the skin shut and taped it. I the whole area was bright red, bleeding and it felt as if it had it's own pulse. Within a couple seconds my mother returned with a clean shirt for me so I could go back out and unload hay.

She told me to quit wasting time and get the hay hauled and unloaded. She told me I really wasn't hurt that bad and we would look at it again later. I stood there in shock of what just happened. My bubble was burst. My dream of having the rest of the day off was all but vanished. All I had to show for it was dry, menthol hair from the remnants of the alcohol, crusty, dried blood on my pants and neck, and a pounding headache. I wondered why she got me a clean shirt. I suppose she thought the neighbors might get concerned if I drove by smothered in blood?

I don't know. I guess times have changed?